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ABUSIVE BM...DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH

pbrown7's picture

Submitted by pbrown7 on Tue, 05/05/2015 - 9:04am

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General Discussion

}:)

I have 2 step children, both were abused. Both children came to visit and decided not to go back. In the past 2 years, we have gotten them therapy, on medication, intensive in-home therapy. Both have severe PTSD, anxiety and OCD. One was in the psych ward for a couple of weeks. The other has dissociative identity disorder. ALL OF THIS DUE TO THE TRAUMA.

My husband and I have been working OVERTIME. And me, double OVERTIME bc I took them in 100% as my own and treat them such. We also have a 2 year old, together. So MOMMA IS WORE OUT.

So here is the deal...I am pissed bc the oldest has been talking to her mom like nothing happened. Like they are BFFs. I saw this going through her phone last night. I want them to hold her accountable. I am angry bc I feel like she is getting away with bloody murder with no consequences. BM does not think she did anything wrong. She just said, "I thought I was disciplining them."

She has done NOTHING for her children financially, or physically since they have been here. I mean NOTHING. She doesnt call or anything.

I just feel like I am running around in circles correcting someone else's mess.

pbrown7's picture

Submitted by pbrown7 on Tue, 05/05/2015 - 9:33am

To answer your questions:

1. Heck NO. BC the custody order was in another state (PA). It took us 2 years to get the jurisdiction moved here, just so that the custody order could be modified. Now that is is registered in NC, we have to get full custody ans then apply for child support. All she had to do 2 years ago was go to the courthouse in PA and cancel the court order which was obviously invalid but she wouldn't.

2. We are still in the process of modifying the court order, it has taken 2 years for it just to be moved down to NC. She will have restricted access to the kids. It is SOOO worth the time and the money. After everything that we have done to try to get the girls on the right path. WE have to.

3. He does so much, we are equally worn out. Thanks for the advice. I had a horrible relationship with both of my parents based on abuse, etc. I am trying to fill in the gaps and create new memories for them. As I am typing this I am tearing up bc, I am just tired. It is so hard for me not to care so much. I know how it is to have no good childhood memories. So I work overtime to compensate for my horrible childhood.