Big Blowout This Weekend
So SD14 refused to come for her weekend. Her reason was that her cousin wasnt around, so she saw no point in coming (she ONLY sleeps over if her cousin stays over too). She then tried to say she'd come for a few hours to "hang out". My fiance basically told her, you either come for the time you are supposed to be here or dont come at all. I was shocked that he stood up to her.
So she of course didnt want to do what she was supposed to do, so she didnt come at all and we had a terrific weekend. Apparently, tho, they were arguing over text, and the SD14 called him up crying. During that call i guess my fiance went off on her tellign her she needs to grow up, that she needs to apply herself in school, and get out of her house and meet people rather than being attached to a device. He also apparently went off on her about her stenchy feet, lack of proper hygiene, etc. He has been talking to another guy friend of ours who only sees his kids 2-3 times per year because he has been indirectly forced to only see them that much as he is taking the hands off approach and no longer dealing with their (and their mother's nonsense). I feel like my fiance took a huge step this weekend relative to putting this kid in her place and walking away. I guess he basically left it with her that she knows where to find him and to call or text if she wants to talk.
She's supposed to be over tomorrow. i wonder if she will come.
Wow ~ I have seen this
Wow ~ I have seen this approach in my DF's relationship and I was kinda torn on the situation.
I tend to over analyze stuff and put myself in others shoes b4 I form an opinion. But sometimes you gotta give them tough love.
When his blow up took place ~ all I could do was listen. I knew more than he thought I knew but I didn't want to rehash shit w him only to add fuel to his fire.
Nothing has changed in his relationship ~ she calls the shots n enjoys pizza with him when I imagine she's hungry or broke.
Props to your fiance for
Props to your fiance for FINALLY standing up to her! These girls really like to try to pull "daddeeeeeeee's" strings, and hate when dear daddy has finally had enough and tells them how it really is!
i can tell he was and is
i can tell he was and is bothered by it. i know his child is a disappointment to him. i cant even imagine how that feels.
We used to have the skids'
We used to have the skids' cousins over to give them someone to play with. In my case, the cousins, although COD, were MUCH more behaved than the skids were. SD(now 16) used to be horrible to her one very attractive cousin. Probably jealousy. Then when the cousins stopped coming over because they got tired of being used and abused by the skids, the skids started lame excuses not to come to visitation. I was torn because I knew there was a lot of PAS going on at the BM's but it sure was peaceful when they decided not to come over EVERY.WEEKEND for six loooooong years.
The blessed peace n quiet.
The blessed peace n quiet. Awwww I relish it now.
I'm happy for you that he
I'm happy for you that he stood up to her. My DH did too a while back. The 'rule' was that if she was coming we had to know by Tuesday. (she'd come on Saturday)
SD15 is notorious for, "I may be able to... not sure yet." I refused to be held hostage by a child, and told DH to just do his thing with her. I made plans.
A few weekends got screwed for him, and now we just make plans. This past weekend she decided to visit, but since we were busy, SD stayed at my inlaws and DH visited her there on Sunday for a few hours. Win/win.
He sees her about 2x a month now, but in the beginning when he finally grew a pair, SD stayed away for months. He got moody and sad, then it was her bday and she started texting him... Geeeeeee... wonder why? In any event, she came around, then NOTHING from Jan- March. DH saw some of her true colours and it sometimes sticks, sometimes doesn't.
DH is also the only driver- I won't, and BM is a destitute hag with no car. He told her he wasn't a taxi...
Mine was her personal atm,
Mine was her personal atm, taxi and concert buddy.
Meh ~ all that's gone ,,, thank you lord