My husband bullies my 11 yr old
I have been married a little over 3 years. We have been together almost 6 years. I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage and my husband has a set of twins, a boy and a girl, from a previous relationship. We also have a 6 month old daughter together. My husband is a drinker (heavy drinker), and it seems like whenever he is drinking, which is every day, he is mean to my oldest daughter. Now, she is not innocent in this situation. She has a mouth, and uses it repeatedly when it comes to my husband, but tonight was out of control.
A little background first. I love my stepchildren and I have a great relationship with their mother. She was my friend in high school and was my maid of honor at our wedding. She is the only person who understands what I am dealing with when it comes to my husband. My husband allows his children to get away with murder and his excuse is because he doesn't see them everyday. His daughter is a picky eater and his son has a VERY smart mouth which his mother and I talk about at length. (We talk on the phone or meet up at least 2 times a week to talk about the kids.) He is VERY domineering over my daughters. Watching them when they eat dinner to make sure they aren't talking or sitting at the table "wrong". But it is my oldest daughter that seems to get the brunt of it, CONSTANTLY.
Today she came home complaining that her toe hurt. I looked at it and determined she has an ingrown toenail. I tried to get it out but couldn't. She went out and played for a while and then came back complaining again. My husband asked her to show him. She came over and he thumped her toe with his finger. I was PISSED. I've had ingrown toenails and know how sensitive they can be. She started crying and I told her it was okay and sent her next door to her grandfather's house.
My husband and I then got into an argument where I tried to explain to him that what he did would be the same as one of my stepchildren coming to me with a stomach ache and me punching them in the stomach to make sure they weren't faking. Well, again my husband was drunk and didn't want to hear anything like my analogy and started to berate me and tell me what a terrible parent I am and my daughter has a smart mouth and its my fault.
Am I crazy or is his brother right, and he is bullying my 11 year old? he doesn't discipline his own children but wants to dictate how I discipline mine. Sorry this is ridiculously long, but I wanted things to be clear.
PLEASE HELP!! We have a child together and my 11 year old wants to move in with her biological father.
Did I really just read that?
Did I really just read that? First you married a high school friend's ex, she was your maid of honor...he's a drunk, you live next door to "grandfather," and you want to know if his brother is right about him bullying your daughter? Do you live in Kentucky or West Virginia?
Yes, he is bullying her. Yes, you need to let her move in with her dad. Yes, he needs AA or you need to move out. Or just move out with the baby and your 11 year old. Get some standards.
Where is your ex? If you
Where is your ex? If you can't/won't protect you children, please send them to their dad full time. Even if punk ass wasn't bullying a kid, I'd say give them to dad because no kid should have to grow up in a home with drunk.
Punk ass doesn't parent his kids, he's bullying one of yours AND he's a drunk. What in the world made you have a kid with this loser?
Please, PLEASE don't make
Please, PLEASE don't make your DD endure a drunken Sfather- my mother did that to me, we have little to no relationship now. Bonking her toe is just cruel. I am in tears reading this, because I was your DD once and to think that your mom is too weak to give you the most minimal living situation(free of threats/abuse)is terrifying at that age. Please, PLEASE pull your head out of your ass and do right by your kids. Or send them somewhere else to live if you're too weak to leave.
You tolerate your drunk assed
You tolerate your drunk assed alky husband bullying and abusing your 11yo and you ask for advice? No adult should have to ask for advice in this situation. Rekey the locks, put his POS out of your home and out of the lives of you and your children. Nail him to the wall for piles of CS until your joint spawn is done with her PhD. Call the police and have this POS arrested for abusing your child and never let this idiot darken your doorstep again.
That anyone would tolerate this kind of shit from their spouse/SO is beyond my ability to understand. I wouldn't tolerate this crap even from my amazing bride. Nope. Never. Couldn't do it.
Move on. Even if you don't have the self respect to eliminate this POS from your life at least step up and eliminate this POS from the lives of your children.
Your DH isn't bullying your
Your DH isn't bullying your daughter, HE IS ABUSING HER. Get out or send your daughters to live with their father. This should be a no-brainer.