Started therapy.
So today, DH and I went to our first therapy session. As SD15, SD11 and BM moved back to our home town after her failed second marriage which lasted just over a year. Great! So yet again new schools for the 3rd time in 3 years for the skids, as if they don't have enough to worry about. I am most thankful for the passed 2 years DH and I have had to ourselves but also thankful that maybe now there is more frequent visits and seeing each other and hopefully the awkwardness from all of us would disappear. Or not. I know that sometimes things get a whole lot worse before they get better. But seems we all have to do this adjusting to how things are gonna roll from now on, I thought I may as well get some coping skills". Based on how I have coped in the passed, I need some. So what do you guys think about therapy? Any of you attended any? Has it helped?
My So and I had our First
My So and I had our First therapy session last week. It was A bit awkward for me but he really thinks it will help. Here's hoping...
Yeah, from this one session,
Yeah, from this one session, I think the therapist has grasped the pattern already. I like that she wants to work with all of us, individually and together. I like what she says and DH actually gets the whole picture now too. I'm not the evil step mother after all!!! I'm not winning any mother of the year awards any time either, but at least it's just learning to cope with situations we all have no clue on!
So first weekend after first
So first weekend after first therapy session, no major issues so far. Attitude from SD15 but would probably get that from any teen anyhow. I'm out doing girl thing with friends so it gives them all some father daughter time.
Marriage counseling sure
Marriage counseling sure helped make the end of my first marriage tolerable. Things got better for the 7mos of counseling my XW and I went through until she walked out when we finally got around to the issue of lack of intimacy in our marriage. She stood up when our Ph. D said "Now that we have been through each of you and your family relationships lets talk about intimacy and sex in your marriage." My XW stood up, said "I do not have a problem with sex." and walked out. A few weeks later she moved out of our home. She was right. She did not have a problem with sex. She was accepting and gobbling every swinging pecker in the city. She had no problem with sex, she had a problem with sex within the context of our marriage.
After XW walked out of counseling I kept seeing the therapist for another few months. She helped me get back in touch of the Rags I liked being and who I lost track of during that nightmare 2.5 years with my adulterous skank of an XW.
Yes, counseling can work for couples. But only if both partners are all in on the effort to improve the situation. If DH is not with you on the counseling, don't expect much improvement over all. You will very likely benefit from the therapy but you can't fix the blended family dynamic alone.
At least that is how it panned out during my first marriage.
After 6 months, our counselor
After 6 months, our counselor fired us. Despite session after session he just couldn't break down the negative pattern of (lack of) communication we have. We are still sputtering along. Barely.
Depending on the
Depending on the circumstances being fired by your therapist can be a good thing.
My therapist fired me too 3mos after my XW walked out of couples therapy. I kept seeing her weekly after my XW quit going.
"Rags, you don't need to be here any longer. You are such a different person than the man who came in here 10mos ago with is XW. You have such a childlike zest for life that I was shocked to find that you have. You are fine. Give me a call every once in a while to let me know were you are and how you are doing. Go be happy."
I do shoot her an email every couple of years. She happily writes back.
I was very impressed with
I was very impressed with this one. With her experience, specializing in parental alienation , she was able to some up the whole story perfectly in the one hour. Yes, she does come at a price, but for my own sanity on some subjects and assistance in coping with things I do not understand, not having kids of my own, I think it will be worth it in the end.