Does anyone have a written parenting agreement? What kind of things does it include? Does it include agreed upon methods of parentin (e.g. bed time) and stipulations of the parenting time it is discussing?
None written, all verbal with hand-shake agreements. For me only includes bed times (mostly for "our" kids dd4 and ds3) and for all three including ss13 to not come into our bedroom after 9:30 pm. I don't care what he does in the mean time and in-between times!
It's cookie cutter, fill-in-the-blank, but it's a decent starting point. If more couples delineated things as clearly, I think that we'd have less conflict in our day-to-day life.
That is perfect!! I work my fingers to the bone trying to keep our place clean but W and SS13 are, respectively, junky and messy. That is their nicknames, "Junkie" is W and "Messy" is SS. I have just over 4 years to go and feel like my married/family life can finally begin!
Yeah, when have a 3 and 4 y/o together so I need to be here for them. Plus I own and consider the house since I'm the only name on the mortgage and pay for every damn thing around here (even though she gets child support, even after 5 years i havn't figured out what she does with it...) So they would have to move back into her moms basement and I'm so "out of sight, out of mind" we would end in about a month anyways LOL!
Be careful. I know someone in your exact situation who came home from work, was told to get out, and if she had anything to do with it, he would never see their 3 kids again. Not sure how that works, but make sure you know the laws in your state. First to strike usually gets everything they want. Not sure why, but pay attention if money goes missing or things start getting odd LOL. Hopefully in your situation she would just move out to Mom's, but you never know. This bitch was crazy, and it was an uphill battle for 3 years.
We have a verbal agreement at the house. It has been hard putting in place as I have a half Disney dad to contend with.
Bedtimes are set depending on the time they have to be up for football the next day. So no later than 9pm.
Boys aren't allowed in our bedroom, fullstop. Ever. They can knock but that is it.
Homework is done if we have them from a Friday night.
All food is tried before claiming it isn't liked.
Polite to adults in the house.
Treat the dog with respect.
If you want clothes washing...put them out.
Keep your room tidy-ish...I don't expect a show home, my home isn't like that anyway. But a bit of respect doesn't hurt.
No food upstairs...at all. Ever. Or drinks.
BM is useless basically she doesn't do any of the above and they do what they like.
My partner and BM only discuss education and medical issues oh and if they skids have forgotten something at a house. The pick up and drop off times don't get changed unless a parent is on holiday.
You seem to have it all figured out, let me ask two questions:
1. Does you and your partner have children together? Because my W and I have a 3 and 4 y/o she has a 13 y/o. I hate that he, the SS, walks into our room as though it is a common area but of course the toddlers come in and out and it rarley bothers me, I think mostly because they young and very dependent and not just because they are mine. I have set rules that he can knock on the door at from 9pm to 9:30pm if he needs his mother for something and after 9:30pm he has to deal with her in the morning (not that I really need time with her, just that I get tired of him and my two are in bed by then...) So if you do have kids together, do you have that issue?
2.My W and BF have their own loose system of who drops off and picks up, it never seemed fair on her part to me (as she is push-over when it comes to what he has to do) and I never really cared but now it affects me because that either takes away time that I need her at home with my kids while I am doing this or that, and/or it is gas money that I may be paying, it is about a 15 mile/30 min drive one way. Do you have any "say-so" in that process?
I seem to have it all figured out...on paper ha ha, lets be honest not all of it is kept...
1. I do not have any of my own children yet, they are on the cards after marriage. It will be quite hard because the reason I don't like the boys having access to our room is because they are boys...and I am a young woman. I don't want them seeing me as much as they don't want to see me. I guess my own kids will be different and that will be a bridge we have to cross when we get to it.
2. The reason the drop offs have become some "cemented" is because I made it that way. My partner was a push over when I first met him as he wanted to seem eager to please when it came to the kids. He would say yes to anything any time to pick the kids up. Even used to pay her fuel to get them to his house. Even when he had a car and did one of the pick ups.
I said it is fair we do one drop off and so does she. At an agreed time, so she drops off at 6:30pm on Friday or Saturday (depending on weekend) and we drop off at 7:30am. The drop off is always at the parents house so they don't have to go across town to a grandparents etc. UNLESS it is a holiday and either my partner or she is away. That is the only time it changes. And its better. The BM has got better with timings and so has my partner. Routine is key.
Yeah, my problem is I am a routine oriented person and my W is not. She is also a push over so it is always done the way BD wants and feels like at that given time. Again, I stayed out of it because it never really concerned me or affected me but now it does and I think I will need to address this. He is a hot-head and loves to say "we have always been able to work this out between the two us waaaay before you came along..." well of course, he gets what he wants and has very little affect to household while mine is directly and negatively affected by her being a push-over.
None written, all verbal with
None written, all verbal with hand-shake agreements. For me only includes bed times (mostly for "our" kids dd4 and ds3) and for all three including ss13 to not come into our bedroom after 9:30 pm. I don't care what he does in the mean time and in-between times!
Copy of Colorado parenting
Copy of Colorado parenting form guidelines:
http://www.courts.state.co.us/Forms/PDF/JDF%201113T%20Parenting%20Plan%2...
It's cookie cutter, fill-in-the-blank, but it's a decent starting point. If more couples delineated things as clearly, I think that we'd have less conflict in our day-to-day life.
The question pertains to you
The question pertains to you and your child's parent, not your current dh/so/idiot.
Although, maybe I read it wrong?
Damn, that's some serious
Damn, that's some serious shit!! Good idea living separately, I should try that.
That is perfect!! I work my
That is perfect!! I work my fingers to the bone trying to keep our place clean but W and SS13 are, respectively, junky and messy. That is their nicknames, "Junkie" is W and "Messy" is SS. I have just over 4 years to go and feel like my married/family life can finally begin!
Yeah, when have a 3 and 4 y/o
Yeah, when have a 3 and 4 y/o together so I need to be here for them. Plus I own and consider the house since I'm the only name on the mortgage and pay for every damn thing around here (even though she gets child support, even after 5 years i havn't figured out what she does with it...) So they would have to move back into her moms basement and I'm so "out of sight, out of mind" we would end in about a month anyways LOL!
Be careful. I know someone in
Be careful. I know someone in your exact situation who came home from work, was told to get out, and if she had anything to do with it, he would never see their 3 kids again. Not sure how that works, but make sure you know the laws in your state. First to strike usually gets everything they want. Not sure why, but pay attention if money goes missing or things start getting odd LOL. Hopefully in your situation she would just move out to Mom's, but you never know. This bitch was crazy, and it was an uphill battle for 3 years.
We have a verbal agreement at
We have a verbal agreement at the house. It has been hard putting in place as I have a half Disney dad to contend with.
Bedtimes are set depending on the time they have to be up for football the next day. So no later than 9pm.
Boys aren't allowed in our bedroom, fullstop. Ever. They can knock but that is it.
Homework is done if we have them from a Friday night.
All food is tried before claiming it isn't liked.
Polite to adults in the house.
Treat the dog with respect.
If you want clothes washing...put them out.
Keep your room tidy-ish...I don't expect a show home, my home isn't like that anyway. But a bit of respect doesn't hurt.
No food upstairs...at all. Ever. Or drinks.
BM is useless basically she doesn't do any of the above and they do what they like.
My partner and BM only discuss education and medical issues oh and if they skids have forgotten something at a house. The pick up and drop off times don't get changed unless a parent is on holiday.
You seem to have it all
You seem to have it all figured out, let me ask two questions:
1. Does you and your partner have children together? Because my W and I have a 3 and 4 y/o she has a 13 y/o. I hate that he, the SS, walks into our room as though it is a common area but of course the toddlers come in and out and it rarley bothers me, I think mostly because they young and very dependent and not just because they are mine. I have set rules that he can knock on the door at from 9pm to 9:30pm if he needs his mother for something and after 9:30pm he has to deal with her in the morning (not that I really need time with her, just that I get tired of him and my two are in bed by then...) So if you do have kids together, do you have that issue?
2.My W and BF have their own loose system of who drops off and picks up, it never seemed fair on her part to me (as she is push-over when it comes to what he has to do) and I never really cared but now it affects me because that either takes away time that I need her at home with my kids while I am doing this or that, and/or it is gas money that I may be paying, it is about a 15 mile/30 min drive one way. Do you have any "say-so" in that process?
I seem to have it all figured
I seem to have it all figured out...on paper ha ha, lets be honest not all of it is kept...
1. I do not have any of my own children yet, they are on the cards after marriage. It will be quite hard because the reason I don't like the boys having access to our room is because they are boys...and I am a young woman. I don't want them seeing me as much as they don't want to see me. I guess my own kids will be different and that will be a bridge we have to cross when we get to it.
2. The reason the drop offs have become some "cemented" is because I made it that way. My partner was a push over when I first met him as he wanted to seem eager to please when it came to the kids. He would say yes to anything any time to pick the kids up. Even used to pay her fuel to get them to his house. Even when he had a car and did one of the pick ups.
I said it is fair we do one drop off and so does she. At an agreed time, so she drops off at 6:30pm on Friday or Saturday (depending on weekend) and we drop off at 7:30am. The drop off is always at the parents house so they don't have to go across town to a grandparents etc. UNLESS it is a holiday and either my partner or she is away. That is the only time it changes. And its better. The BM has got better with timings and so has my partner. Routine is key.
Yeah, my problem is I am a
Yeah, my problem is I am a routine oriented person and my W is not. She is also a push over so it is always done the way BD wants and feels like at that given time. Again, I stayed out of it because it never really concerned me or affected me but now it does and I think I will need to address this. He is a hot-head and loves to say "we have always been able to work this out between the two us waaaay before you came along..." well of course, he gets what he wants and has very little affect to household while mine is directly and negatively affected by her being a push-over.