OH HELL YES AND YES!

Yes and yes.

Forever and ever: I can't imagine leaving him, and yet circumstances could arise that force my hand. This is something I would never have believed in the beginning but it is true.

This was absolutely me.

Along with thoughts of "I love him" "how will we manage" etc etc etc

But circumstances forced it and now we are separated. And guess what? Yes I miss him, yes I am devastated that the best rs of my life became this shithole, and YES you better believe I am doing just fine anyways! Better than I have been for three years in fact.

There is LIFE after step-hell, and it's bloody good.

I am currently thinking about it. The last year has been constant drama with no break from BM crazy and skid hell. Now BM had filed to take us to court for visitation and money. And there is a possible CPS investigation as well. I told DH I am pretty much done. He finds a way to keep this mess at a safe distance or he stays at a safe distance and I move on.

Yes. Twice.

Once 4 weeks after we moved in together and my BD5 at the time came to me in tears from being hit, pushed, spit on, and verbally abused etc from SS4 who is a bully. DH wouldn't do shit, the precious SS can do no wrong - so I coached BD5 to stand up for herself, no more backing down, no more tears and yes I actually told her to punch the little phuker as hard as she could next time he touched her and he would stop. Good mom... anyway, she said no mommy that is wrong and the next time he got on her case, in 5 year old lingo she told him he was a mean person and she would not entertain any more time with him, she froze him out completely. Didn't talk to him, wouldn't play with him, nothing.

Second time, same problem basically, his kids had no rules, mine did, we simply do not agree on how to raise children. He wanted me to be mom to his kids but I was not allowed to say or do anything to enforce any kinds of rules, he wanted me to parent like him which I completely disagree with. So I told him he had to allow me to do it my way or not have me do it at all. We agreed to disagree. I stopped watching his son after school, stopped picking up his kids, I went into complete disengagement. BM and DH made them, they can raise them. Their loss.

Its been 5 years since I disengaged. I have my moments, but its given me peace of mind. I love DH, the man, my husband. I have no respect for DH the father. I raise my kids, he raises his, I have nothing to do with his decisions about his kids. Its like 3 families in one house... Me and my daughters, DH and his 2 kids, and DH and I the couple.

Its weird, and it works for us.

While technically I was never a step mom, I dated a man for two years that was a disney dad to his 7 yr old son.

I did break up with him a while back and I have never regretted it.

I only pop in here from time to time to read and saw this post. I just want to say while there is no shame in trying to make things work, there is no shame in leaving either. You have to do what's best for you, your children if you have any, and your happiness.

Nope. But my bride and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to raising SS-22. We married the week before he turned 2yo. If you are not equity life partners with your SO then the chances of a blended family marriage working over the long term are about ZERO. That includes being equity parents to any children in your marital home regardless of the biology of the kids.

For sure when a toxic spawn is not held to consistent family rules and their bio parent is more interested in making excuses for their kid's toxic behavior than actually parenting .... just cut your losses and move on.

In our case the Skid was not our primary challenge. Over all he was pretty tolerable. His Sperm Clan on the other hand was intolerable. Fortunately my bride and I found it fairly easy to partner in beating them into submission over the 17+ years the CO was in place.

IMHO and experience of course.

Lately, I ahve felt like leaving. I am madly in love with my husband. I know he loves me. He supports me emotionally in his own way. I just get so tired of the same discussions about the Skids. I don't want to divorce him, but I do want to leave sometimes. It very challenging when you have a BM that is uncooperative and a DH that feels guilty so lets things slide. I try and let things go, but I'm fed up. So I know how you feel. Good luck.

The roller coaster of hell! Had I known my second marriage with skids was going to be this bad, I would have never divorced the first. Big Laugh Here!

We have all felt this way. You need to talk care of yourself. DISENGAGE! Read a book or go take your daughter somewhere just the two of you! You are married to him, not the other child.

Fifi, do you live together? Do you have children from a previous relationship too? I ask because I would leave IN A HEARTBEAT **if** I didn't have kids. They have already been through one divorce and had to move from that home, to a condo and now to a new home. They love their school, they love their friends, and they finally feel settled. So I am kind of stuck.

Maybe you have more options though?

I'm at that point right now. Not married to my boyfriend but the fact that he can't seem to even try to compromise when it comes to issues involving his son or his sons busy sport schedule every weekend, or situations with the ex wife has me drained, sad and unsure why I am even here.

I consider leaving everyday. I think back to just a short 4 years ago, I was in my apartment, my kids were happy, I was happy, in love with my boyfriend(now dh). All I can think is I should have let it stay that way.

I should not have married him, moved in with him or had a child with him. I love our daughter who is 17 months but I can't stand my skids (sd 8 and 11). I hate BM and I feel like she's his wife and I'm his mistress.

DH is working out of town, even though I miss things he does, like take the dog out or give me two minutes to take shower, watching our daughter, I dont miss him like I should miss my husband.

I have tried everything to make the skids/kids blend and they won't ever. I have 2 from previous, he has 2 demon seeds previous and then our baby daughter. It's like having 3 separate families every other weekend.

DH and I are ok, when it's just my kids and our kid, or just our kid. If you throw the skids in it, DH isn't the man I love or married and I am done with them period.

I have disengaged but it isn't enough and it feels wrong to me. It feels like we aren't married when the skids are around. I dont even want him to touch me. I have closed myself off from him completely since he's been away working.

I hope I can find some reason to stay because honestly I dont want a second failed marriage.