I have noticed a Few of divorced parents on here that is a Biological mother and not a step parent, responding to posts. I cant help but to wonder Why? If you're not a step mother or dad then why do you do step talk?
Anyone living in a blended family often has plenty of reason to vent and seek advice. BPs having issues with their own spouse or children struggling with the blended family situation often come here.
I am not in any step situation. But I have a mentally ill DH. He is a lot like some of the Skids and BM's on this site. I have learned a lot from the women/men on here about strength and boundaries. I have learned to define some of his behaviors and to deflect some. I have also learned about disengaging.
I was on the mentally ill sites and the advice I got there was making me INSANE.
I guess what I get from this site is people who support the fact that we all need to love ourselves enough to know our limits. IRL what I am directed to do is surrender myself to support my DH's delusions- because that is supposed to help him. (agree with him, show him I believe the coke machine is out to get him) IRL step parents are also supposed to surrender themselves to the situation- even when it is to their personal detriment.
The posters here are all saying "Hey, I matter. My happiness IS important." I need that support.
But about your step kids, I would smack the shit out of most of them. I personally believe that children are empty vessels that the parent is supposed to fill with education, manners, interests (your child will not know unless you expose them to it) etc . Most parents this day an age believe that their children are fully formed works of art waiting to grow into themselves. And at the magical age of 18, maturity will tap them with its' wand and they will transform into fully functioning adults with no help from anyone.
So I do apologize for invading your territory. But it helps me as a person, not a parent.
I am glad you are here. Your perspective on kids and parenting is absolutely brilliant IMHO. Far too many people think their spawn are special when there is no proof of that delusion in the kids performance or behavior. Special is earned with performance, special is not just granted.
Most parents this day an age believe that their children are fully formed works of art waiting to grow into themselves. And at the magical age of 18, maturity will tap them with its' wand and they will transform into fully functioning adults with no help from anyone.
Well said!! Ah for the good old days when our parents were allowed smack most of the shit out of us....and hey, we all grew up fine as the smacking was reasonable (and not violent, dont mean to say its ok to be violent).
I've been known to fly across a kitchen island and pop the shit outta my BS17. I was ripped to SHREDS over that when I blogged about it a while back. However, I would take my teen dad BS ANYDAY over some of the Snowflakes I read about on here. My kid at least knows that he'd be picking his teeth up off the floor if he forgot who he was talking to. He's made some real doozy mistakes but at least he's respectful!
I saw a person complaining about a step mom and assumed. Guess I made a ass out of myself with the question. This site is very interesting and I am growing to like it because I have got some good pointers.
There are all types of people that post here. SMs that don't claim ther skids to SMs that believed they birthed the child. I don't know if I've ever encountered just a BM, but you never know what could happen on this site. There are people that make up two accounts and post controversial topics to get the drama going.
This place is to vent about whatever it is you want. Being a SM, your skids, your dh, or off topic situations.
It takes a long time for me to read most of this and respond. I don't see how someone has anytime in their day to have several accounts and respond back to their posts, if so then I see where the problem would lay in their situation.
Oh it's happened. The other bloggers caught her because she forgot to signout of one account and started talking like she was from account two. I did not read that, but I did read the aftermath of everyone talking about it.
Love your quote at the end.
Love your quote at the end. I'll have to remember that one. }:) }:)
Anyone living in a blended
Anyone living in a blended family often has plenty of reason to vent and seek advice. BPs having issues with their own spouse or children struggling with the blended family situation often come here.
I am not in any step
I am not in any step situation. But I have a mentally ill DH. He is a lot like some of the Skids and BM's on this site. I have learned a lot from the women/men on here about strength and boundaries. I have learned to define some of his behaviors and to deflect some. I have also learned about disengaging.
I was on the mentally ill sites and the advice I got there was making me INSANE.
I guess what I get from this site is people who support the fact that we all need to love ourselves enough to know our limits. IRL what I am directed to do is surrender myself to support my DH's delusions- because that is supposed to help him. (agree with him, show him I believe the coke machine is out to get him) IRL step parents are also supposed to surrender themselves to the situation- even when it is to their personal detriment.
The posters here are all saying "Hey, I matter. My happiness IS important." I need that support.
But about your step kids, I would smack the shit out of most of them. I personally believe that children are empty vessels that the parent is supposed to fill with education, manners, interests (your child will not know unless you expose them to it) etc . Most parents this day an age believe that their children are fully formed works of art waiting to grow into themselves. And at the magical age of 18, maturity will tap them with its' wand and they will transform into fully functioning adults with no help from anyone.
So I do apologize for invading your territory. But it helps me as a person, not a parent.
BOBI, I am glad you are here.
BOBI,
I am glad you are here. Your perspective on kids and parenting is absolutely brilliant IMHO. Far too many people think their spawn are special when there is no proof of that delusion in the kids performance or behavior. Special is earned with performance, special is not just granted.
Most parents this day an age
Most parents this day an age believe that their children are fully formed works of art waiting to grow into themselves. And at the magical age of 18, maturity will tap them with its' wand and they will transform into fully functioning adults with no help from anyone.
OMG that is perfect! I am keeping a copy of that.
Well said!! Ah for the good
Well said!! Ah for the good old days when our parents were allowed smack most of the shit out of us....and hey, we all grew up fine as the smacking was reasonable (and not violent, dont mean to say its ok to be violent).
I've been known to fly across
I've been known to fly across a kitchen island and pop the shit outta my BS17. I was ripped to SHREDS over that when I blogged about it a while back. However, I would take my teen dad BS ANYDAY over some of the Snowflakes I read about on here. My kid at least knows that he'd be picking his teeth up off the floor if he forgot who he was talking to. He's made some real doozy mistakes but at least he's respectful!
And he likely won't ever
And he likely won't ever cross that line since you raised him to be respectful.
I saw a person complaining
I saw a person complaining about a step mom and assumed. Guess I made a ass out of myself with the question. This site is very interesting and I am growing to like it because I have got some good pointers.
I am an equal opportunity
I am an equal opportunity barrer of idiot ass. BK, SKid, BP, SP, no matter. Idiot is idiot and barring their asses is quite a bit of fun. }:)
There are all types of people
There are all types of people that post here. SMs that don't claim ther skids to SMs that believed they birthed the child. I don't know if I've ever encountered just a BM, but you never know what could happen on this site. There are people that make up two accounts and post controversial topics to get the drama going.
This place is to vent about whatever it is you want. Being a SM, your skids, your dh, or off topic situations.
It takes a long time for me
It takes a long time for me to read most of this and respond. I don't see how someone has anytime in their day to have several accounts and respond back to their posts, if so then I see where the problem would lay in their situation.
Oh it's happened. The other
Oh it's happened. The other bloggers caught her because she forgot to signout of one account and started talking like she was from account two. I did not read that, but I did read the aftermath of everyone talking about it.
People are nuts!