Forty minutes prior is bull. Even though it's going to suck, have her over and have DH clearly let her know that in the future, if she wants to cancel it must be done in X amount of time. My opinion is 2 nights prior, say by Wednesday night at 6pm if she's scheduled to come over Friday night.

You'll probably luck out and won't have to see much more of her since she's getting older. Encourage DH to take her to dinner if he wants quality time and it's just "not in her schedule" to spend the night or whatever. Frikkin primadonnas. We all have one. Or two.

~ Moon

I totally see SheSlith pulling crap like this now. As much as I don't think children should control the visitation, at some point one should just say screw it if the teen doesn't want to come over. That said, they need to be taught to have consideration. 40 min before pickup is BS! But if they don't want to visit, don't force it. Otherwise, they will just make everyone miserable over it. This is something I hope DH will soon figure out. If all SheSloth ends up doing is hiding in her room when (and if) she visits, what is the sense in her coming over? DH is probably better off taking her to grab a bite to eat then taking her home rather than a full weekend visit. I mean, she has made it clear she doesn't want to be around me...don't force it!

Visitation belongs to the NCP not the Skids and not the CP. It happens as stipulated in the CO unless the the NCP decides otherwise. I for one would not tolerate any mucking with visitation were I an NCP. It is my time, it happens when the CO stipulates if I so chose. It has nothing to do with whether the kid(s) and/or CP want it to happen or not. Any failure to comply with the visitation schedule by either the CP or the kid gets the CP hauled in for a contempt charge each and every time.

Now, if I were an NCP and I wanted to go on trip by myself and I choose to not take a visitation then that is my call. But the next visitation that I choose to take the kid better be available or delivered as stipulated by the CO.

Even being in a long term marriage to the CP in our blended family life I can recognize that NCPs get the big fat and hairy end of the blended family shaft. They don't have custody of their children, they are a supplemental income for their X, and they have little say over how their kids are raised and who their kids are exposed to for much of the time. CO'd visitaiton is the one area where the NCP is in control and were I an NCP visitation would be completely on my terms under the stipulations in the CO. If I want my kid for visitation I get my kid. If I don't then the CP can suck it up and ammend their plans if they have any.

A kid that does not want to visit and tries to make everyone miserable in the visitation home can be taught that manipulative crap behavior will hurt noone but themselves when the NCP household parents bring the pain. No internet, no mobile phones, if a kid is pouting the kid can stand in a corner with their nose firmly planted in contact with the intersecting walls and the kid can stay there until the NCP household parents say otherwise. The rest of the household can go on with their business and have whatever fun they feal like in full hearing of the corner standing PITA kid. Regardless of the age of the visiting kid.

IMHO of course and if I were an NCP.