SD hasn't figured out that treating people like dirt won't get her what she wants.
I have had a strained relationship with my SD12 for the past 2 years. Her BMs constant coddling and lack of consistent parenting on DHs part have turned in a disrespectful, lazy, rude slob. I do love my DH but he has two kids and clearly coddles the 12 year old. I don't know why. SD12 has been down since Thursday and I have been working extra hours this week because if she opens her mouth one more time, I'm not keeping mine shut.
She is constantly lying to us and spends her weekends trying to pick fights with everyone in the house. When I call her out on it she twists the story in a desperate attempt to prove she had a reason for being a total witch. She snapped at me the other night about trying to unlock the door with a key that was stuck. I turned and gave her a dirty look and DH told her to apologize. Nope she gave me a dirty look crossed her arms stayed silent. DH didn't enforce the apology. Great way to teach your brat to respect me.
Last night I had the audacity to ask her to do the dishes. Her response was you're forcing me to do this? No it was a polite question. After throwing a fit, I told her to just go away and her sister did it no problem. God forbid someone tears her away from her precious computer for 5 minutes. Then I cut myself a piece of cheesecake and when she saw me she says "really you're going to take that much?" It was a 2 inch silver OMFG. I just gave her a sweet smile and walked away while she scowled at me. Sorry I might interrupt your obsessive obsession with crappy food. I tell DH my exchanges with her last night and he just fluffs it off. She never gets snotty with me if he's around. She is always nice around dddaaaddddyyy.
Anyways the real reason for this post:
Stepbrat doesn't understand that if you treat someone like dirt, they are not going to want to be nice back. She expects everyone to just deal with her being a miserable witch all the time. Case in point, she wants to go to a semi formal dance. Of course BM wants my DH to pay for half. Apparently the $200 she gets from us every week isn't enough to pay for half a dress. SD12 tried to politely ask my DH for the money for it last night. I guess 5 minutes was too long to be nice, she snapped at him when he asked when the dance was. I don't think this is fair. I will not give a cent to her for the dress. Even if she was somewhat nice to me. I don't think DH should either. Why can't BM just use the child support money?!
LOL...I just read your first
LOL...I just read your first line and thought "Funny, our BM also hasn't figured that out." I guess some people never do. Honestly, I think "asshole" is ingrained in 12 year olds. The rare individual breaks free of it...but we have a 12 year old...and it's not much different. He's a button pusher, I think he actually gets under DH's skin way worse than mine. I joke around with DH and say he probably looks BM square in the face and tells her I'm a better mother...just because it would piss her off.
If she's irritating you, you can avoid her, call her out on it or see if DH will intervene. Really depends on how you want your home to function.
As far as money is concerned, for something like a dress...unless money is difficult in your family and takes a lot of work to earn it...I would just take it in stride. My XH still owes me crap tons for extra things I get my kids, lessons, summer camp etc, but I'm not going to deny them these things because he won't pay. I just tally it up. Does SD live with you or with BM? Living in does incur a crap ton more financially, and as a BM I'm aware of that. As a SM I can also see how annoying it is to watch our BM take advantage of us financially....but as far as that goes, I just sit back and look forward to the day that she doesn't get child support anymore, and she'll have to get off her lazy ass and do something. Good luck!!
Dance coming up or not, this
Dance coming up or not, this Skid is a brat. I have an SD13 who is a doofus and knows better than to be a shit with me. I have been calling her out on all of her lies and irresponsible behavior lately. She is an airhead. Get the camera ready on your phone and that way you can at least record audio of her being an ass. How does DH feel about YOU handing out punishments? I was tolerant for about 1-1/2 years after SD19 and SD13 came to live with us FT. (Their BM died two years ago.) After awhile, I told myself I didn't have to wait for DH to punish SD13, I would do it myself. She was 12 last spring, had just started her cycles, and was lying and had poor hygiene. I started putting it in her face and took all of her electronics to work for 2 weeks. Even the keyboard to the desktop computer. Three tablets are STILL in my office from June.
My point is, YOU need to be respected in YOUR home, and if this little bitch keeps pushing the envelope with you, PUSH BACK. What's the worst she's going to do? Run to Disney Daddy? Stay at BM's house?
The most you risk is getting into arguments with DH about his little princess, but chances are, that's started already. Amp it up and speak your mind. It becomes entertainment after awhile! And trust me, your little hellion of an SD12 will be a HUGE bitch in a few more years. My SD19 is proof of that. Tell DH SD12 isn't welcome in your home until she learns to respect YOU. It's your home, too.
Now if I could just fix the dent that SD19 has left in my couch.......
~ Moon