Most of us can relate. Some have left. Read what others have posted, you'll find similar situations. It's not you, welcome and vent away

"Does anyone feel like harmony and peace evaporates once you hear your partner's car pull into the driveway and you know stepchild is back at your home?"

Oh yes! Except that the 3 Skids are here full time.....sometimes they all, DH included go to his parents for the weekend and it's pure bliss....but as Sunday afternoon draws closer I feel the bile rising in my throat and can feel my mood shifting. By the time the car pulls into the driveway I am just about in either panic mode or catatonic with the fear of the shit starting all over again....

I wish my skids only visited!!

They live with us permanetly 24/7. Never get a break.

Wow I never imagine so many stepmoms experience what I have. I felt the same way. I would have panic attacks. I would go to my mother on my days off just to get away. I worked all te overtime i was offered just not to be home. My only difference is my DH understand it wasn't me. He went to see the judge after so many chances with his daughter to get residential custody reversed back to mom because she refused to take her daughter back which she created a monster. She didnt want to deal with it and she wanted her to cause havoc in my home. When hubby explained to judge the disrespect and played video i recorded of her calling me a B**ch plus threatening to beat me up, judge reversed it immediately. She was out my house that day. I prayed a lot and God stepped in and put her OUT. Now my home is so peaceful. We still have his 14 yr. old on here but he's no problem. Hubby have him under control. He don't want any problems. I pray it get better for you manymoments. It's very hard. Keep talking to your friend. It's sad when the hubby don't support you and see how disrespectful his child is.

ha everytime the school bus pulls up I cringe!!

No. Fortunately for us we were the CP family. Sending the Skid for his 3x per year total of 7wks of visitation (5wks summer, 1wk winter, and 1wk spring) to Sperm Land was the difficult part. We knew what was in store upon his return.

He started with a week or two of pre-visitation behavioral degradation before we put him on a plane to Sperm Land. Whining, back talking, snarkiness, poor hygiene, etc… Upon his return home from Sperm Clan visitation we had about a month of post visitation behavioral detox. This was par for the course from when visitation started when the CO went into effect when he was ~2yo and continued until he aged out from under the CO on his 18th b-day. I will give him credit though. It did improve some when he was 17-18 because he finally learned that the crap that would fly in Sperm Land was not tolerated at home.

I would not tolerate the situation you describe. You and you own children need to be free of that toxicity.

Good luck.

every other Friday... and I try to stay in my room, and I am mastering the art to ignore her...she is noticing, I dont say hi or bye if she doesnt say it first, I dont look at her, nothing, I talk to my kids like she is not there...and I hate it!!!! as soon as she leaves my life is back to normal... i hate it!

You sound so incredibly sad in your message. That's an awful place to be.

I left my husband and the 2 skids - who live with us full time - and since leaving I feel SO much more myself. I'm content, happy and I no longer have those pangs of anxiety, sadness, frustration or stress because of someone else's children. I'm my own person again and living life my way.

Nothing is worth the depth of unhappiness that you're clearing experiencing.

My partner always jokes about his ex 'diasappearing' so he ca have the skids full time. Yesterday i finally broke it to him - " I hate her, but I'll do anything for her to live because I can't live with SS7 and SD5 permanently". That would be the end of our relationship.

They are rude and just plain nasty. They like to jump into bed with us but don't want to be next tom me in the bed - so I told hubby I want to start my day on a good note without 2 little snobs making me feel like a lepper(sp?) in my own bed.

How can kids that young be so vile?

Same here-doom & gloom 24/7. It would be awesome for some type of happiness cycle. I guess the only thing I can say is...count your blessings aka days off from skids it could be worse.

I have to give myself a happiness "pep talk" every day after work to ignore the rude, nastiness of SD15.....now that sucks.

I live in that same cycle of happiness and misery. My DH doesn't understand it at all. The skids get off the bus at 4:10 on Wednesdays and my whole demeanor changes. The anxiety that sky rockets the moment I hear their high pitched, loud voices enter the house is ridiculous. It only subsides when they go back to their mom's. DH doesn't get it at all, he tells me to "relax" or to try harder, etc. I live for the happy moments and exist through the misery. I too try to find things to do, places to go when skids are there. My DH calls it "hiding" but I prefer to think of it as a coping strategy, a peaceful compromise...

See this is what I can't understand. Why we are all enduring this? Some say it's love or whatever. I have to talk myself into even getting out of bed when I know SD 8 and 11 are actually going to come over.

I guess I'm sort of lucky because they dont come over regularly but for me, it just makes the dread worse. They look exactly like BM and talk like her, so it's almost like an invasion in my home when they are there. I know no one likes to say it but when they hug and kiss on DH, it's like BM is doing it, I've been in counseling but I need him to do certain things and it's not happening.

I keep trying to tell myself, maybe it's me, maybe I did something but no it's not. I tried hard, really hard, so hard my kids said to me, "why do you do more for them than us". Then I had to back off, I was trying to make them feel welcomed, part of my family, that didn't happen, they didn't want that and BM surely doesn't.

Now DH is resentful and mad I dont do more, accept more, love them like him. I never loved them, I did like them, not now. Once I became permanent, so to say, they started down the get rid of SM or make her want to leave road. Yes young children can be swayed or want to be mean to get rid of someone.

BM pretends to tell the SDs to listen or whatever BS she pulled in front DH. No longer, now she withholds them so their is no way to get close to them or even be able to fix any of it. BM is now playing, "who is more important" with DH. I knew it would come to this. But anyways, we all have this super negative force, how do we make it stop affecting us, mentally and physically? I dont know the answer, wish I could figure it out.

Be glad they don't live with you all the time. That is my life. My skids are with us 24/7. My kids see their BF every other weekend. I am just amazed at how many people experience this.