BM beneficiary
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Whattheseboots blog has me scared.
My DH is required in his CO to list BM as beneficiary in the event of his death, leaving DS3 and I with nothing. I've brought the subject up to him before and his answer is the same for everything. "I know it needs to be changed but we can't afford to fight with BM over the CO right now.
If he were to list me anyway, what could happen heaven forbid he were to pass?
Agree. He had told me about
Agree. He had told me about his CO but never showed it to me. We had an issue over insurance so I dug through his boxes upon boxes a few weeks ago to go though it and see exactly what it said. Boy was I surprised to find out just how much she's taken him for. Absolutely evrything is in her favor and he agreed to it just for the measly eowe visitation he has. Dumbass. I had no idea.
I don't know what could
I don't know what could happen if your husband were to die. I would think the CO trumps any other document. I administer the pension plan at my company, and we've got a guy who wants to reitre. His CO from his divorce says that his wife gets half of his pension income. I found out that even if he changed his pension partner to his new wife, the CO would be followed anway.
It's a good question to ask a lawyer. I'm in Canada so it might be different elsewhere.
Beneficiary of What
Beneficiary of What specifically. Of one particular life insurance policy? Take out an additional policy. Of Everything? No way in heck, take it to court and fight it. If something in between, go see an estate lawyer, who may recommend one or more living trusts or something along that line.
Get a copy of the agreement
Get a copy of the agreement and read it very closely. Get a lawyer to review it with you if you can.
And whatever HE does, YOU go out and buy a policy on HIM. Nobody can get that but you, BM can't touch it if you own the policy.
I wish I would have. Do not
I wish I would have. Do not wait!
But beyond that, you need to have a will that talks about what happens to the kids, etc. Wills can't trump a divorce agreement but can help protect in a lot of ways.
I am wondering the same
I am wondering the same thing, Stacey! My DH and BM were never married and their CO doesn't say anything crazy like that! It just lists who has SD when, and their year on/year off holiday schedule.
my fiance is required to have
my fiance is required to have BM as a beneficiary on ONE, $250K life insurance policy as she is also required to do so for him. This is only until SD ages out of CS and is emancipated.
however, he's changed all of this other beneficiaries to me, and tehre is nothing precluding him from taking out another, even larger if he wanted, insurance policy naming me or anyone else.
and yes, a child under 18 would also receive social security.
I can't imagine that he has
I can't imagine that he has to leave everything to BM. That's ridiculous.
I know of a lot of agreements stating that the parent has to leave a policy with the other parent as beneficiary until the child is 18. It doesn't exclude them from having OTHER policies. That's outrageous. Your DH should take out ANOTHER policy with you as the beneficiary.
I can't imagine that he has
I can't imagine that he has to leave everything to BM. That's ridiculous.
I know of a lot of agreements stating that the parent has to leave a policy with the other parent as beneficiary until the child is 18. It doesn't exclude them from having OTHER policies. That's outrageous. Your DH should take out ANOTHER policy with you as the beneficiary.
Right. Thanks everyone. I
Right. Thanks everyone. I will be sitting him down tonight for a lengthy conversation on everything.
If I'd only known then what I know now....
It is VERY common for the
It is VERY common for the court to order the NCP to leave a life insurance policy to the CP to cover child support should a death occur while the child(/children) is a minor. I highly doubt any court action would change that.
Not that my opinion means
Not that my opinion means anything, but requiring that is ridiculous. Not saying YOU'RE ridiculous, just the requirement that the NCP have a life insurance policy naming CP as bene to cover child support....
Why? Because in the US, children under the age of 18 receive survivor benefits that equal 75% of the deceased's social security wages. *Each* child receives that, not to exceed a certain total dollar amount. So that right there means the child/ren (CP??) are way better off than receiving CS, which is what, less than 35% of the NCP's income?
My two kids each receive survivor benefits from their bio father. And although my now-DH pays A LOT in CS (he's a high earner), the combined benefits my kids receive is quite a bit more.
I totally agree. I don't even
I totally agree. I don't even know how it is legal to force someone to give someone else their life insurance. I would be afraid of former spouses killing the policy holder for the money (I watch a lot of Dateline
).
Exactly, they already have an
Exactly, they already have an insurance policy called Social Security.
Same here. BM would get
Same here. BM would get everything. It's in their agreement. Another thing his lawyer screwed up. The only thing DH was able to do was put the life insurance under his brother's control as executor. It's especially crap since BM has no life insurance, nothing.
Why can't he get another
Why can't he get another policy for you and your child?
My DH was required to
My DH was required to maintain a life insurance policy for SD until she was emancipated at 23, and it named BM as trustee. It's in their CO, and the annoying part is that BM was not required to do the same. He changed beneficiaries to include me when we married, but the next time they went to court, DH was ordered to change it back. DH made sure that I was named beneficiary on work policies he had.
Now that SD23 is emancipated, he changed the beneficiary to me alone. I wouldn't have argued if he wanted to leave a small portion to SD23 since she is his daughter, but I left that up to him, and he chose not to.
Definitely take out a policy
Definitely take out a policy on your DH, with you as beneficiary.
Luckily, nothing was ever addressed in DH's divorce decree regarding DH having life insurance, even though SD was only 5 when he and BM split. As soon as the divorce was final, he changed his beneficiary for his life insurance through his job, to me.
We have life insurance on each other, main reason is to pay off the mortgage but I've been accelerating the payments so should have it paid in a few years. That is our only debt and we live within our means. We have no kids together, his 2 kids are now adults. He is not interested in leaving them anything, as they will just hand it over to the BMs.
Cars and bank accounts are TOD to each other, the house belongs to whichever one of us survives the other, retirement and pensions go to the survivor. I think we have everything covered, even without a will.
The only thing not accounted for is the heartache that will be suffered. You can't prepare for that.
Please accept my
Please accept my condolences.
Carefully read how the agreement is worded. My husband's states that he has to carry life insurance in an amount equivalent to the remaining amount of alimony and child support. His policy through work is for a higher amount. Every six months he modifies the policy so BM gets the amount remaining on the alimony and child support and I get the rest. (I realize this sounds a little obsessive, but he has had 2 heart attacks...)