17 year old ss brings weed in our car, skunky we bust him what now
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Found a quarter of skunk in bookbag, he says it's his 13 year old friend, I'm mad over smoking weed with 13 year olds. BM believes him I think it's his weed. What should I do?
Take it up as if it were his
Take it up as if it were his ~ learn like its the law that caught him.
He want to blame the 13 year old ~ I'd throw that kid under the bus as well. It's either the 13 yo or that kid learns real quick what type of friend your ss is.
Believe half of what you hear n punish all of it.
He wants to tell lies then so be it.
Possession is 9/10th of the law.
Your ss guilty as hell ~ you let up on him on this one ; watch what happens next.
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Yikes, I agree with what has
Yikes, I agree with what has been said on the fact that you all need to be on the same page, and you need to punish him with consequences that are going to hurt. This is something you want him to know is not going to fly. Good luck, tough situation. My little brother is 15 and smoking and drinking... I layed into him with a lecture but it had no effect, without real consequences why would he care?
Call the police and let
Call the police and let accountability and consequences fall where they belong.
I think for the first time
I think for the first time ever I strongly disagree with Rags. DO NOT involve a criminal justice system that sees serious violent offenses as less punishable than marijuana use!
I agree
I agree
Why is he hanging out with
Why is he hanging out with someone who's 13? That's eight grade.17 is a senior in high school.
As others have pointed out...
As others have pointed out... wtf is he doing hanging out with a 13 year old?!
Also, are you kidding me? People still use the "its not mine" and other people still consider it might be true? Of course its his!
And if you want everyone to know the truth... http://www.amazon.com/INSTANT-Single-Panel-Drug-Test/dp/B004C37VV2/ref=s...
Thanks nice responses, I
Thanks nice responses, I agree with all but involving cops. I don't think there even is a 13 year old. He's a fictious fall guy. I don't even believe half of it. He's a textbook pathalofical liar. What's a suitable punishment? He has no license. Seldomly leaves house except school n football
No question... football would
No question... football would be over for the year if that were my kid.
Football is positive and hate
Football is positive and hate to take it away cuz he's looming for reasons to quit anyway so Idk
Give me a break. If football
Give me a break. If football was so positive, why is he in this situation at all? Stop glorifying a sport at this kid's expense.
Also, no, objectively speaking football is not positive. Massive exposure to brain trauma and a violent, sexist culture are not positive in the way volunteering or swimming or debate team are.
BS19 plays football, and it
BS19 plays football, and it has done good things for him, so I can't say that it is all bad. It got him into college where he is now getting a quality education, and is an environment that is going to continue to nurture what we started here at home (small Christian college, positive coaches, 18 students to every 1 prof, and profs keep up with all their students, etc.)
That said, you can't be afraid of this ruining football from him. Football is a privilege! Take a page from the book of Coach Patterson in TCU! When his star quarterback got busted for DUI, the kid was suspended from the team, and he had to complete rehab before coming back. This was the first year TCU was playing Big 12, and the coach was risking everything! When they asked the coach why he did what he did, he said that the future and health of his players are more important than winning ball games! The unfortunate thing is that there are a whole lot of coaches out there that do not feel that way, and will play him regardless of the trouble he gets into. I mean...just look at UT under Mack Brown!
Someone needs to inform
Someone needs to inform BM....possession is 9/10's of the law! What cop is going to believe, "But it's my buddy's...I swear!" NONE! They would haul his butt in for possession, anyway!
Just like SheSloth's situation over summer band. The girl that had the pot on her just got through doing her time...just finally got to come back to school about a week ago. I still don't believe that SheSloth wasn't involved somehow. Why else would the girl have claimed it was SheSloth's by name, when the girl and SheSloth are supposed to be friends? My guess is that the girl maybe was helping SheSloth get the pot, and SheSloth said, "Hey, can you hold it for me until later?" Needless to say...SheSloth got off scott-free, and the girl had to do juvi time!
These comments went south, no
These comments went south, no I didn't call cops are you shitting me no government is making decisions for my family. They have their greedy hands on everything. Lady jermaine it is positive more people are hurt and killed going and coming from football than the sport itself
Why are so many opposed to
Why are so many opposed to letting the law deal with a criminal? Parents who mitigate consequences are enabling IMHO. This guy is claiming to be partying with a 13yo? By his own admission he is contributing to the delinquency of a much younger minor and doing illegal drugs.
Why not let the police deal with him rather than enabling and tolerating the behavior?
As for legalizing. I am fine with that. Tax the crap out of it, no medical coverage for emphysema, COPD, and Lung Cancer for those who use even legally. They pay out of pocket or get no treatment. The same should apply for tobacco smokers. People should keep in mind that employers in many industries are still going to fire employees for a positive drug screen. No bitching for getting fired for a positive screen whether it is legal or not.
Let SS spend a few days in lock up and get a few thousand hours of community service. Maybe that will extricate his head from his ass and mitigate a future of lack of potential and under performance. Just maybe.
You would be making the decision to call the police they won't just magically show up. Better you than the 13yo's very pissed off parents.
As for sports, very positive IMHO but what if he fails a pregame test? Not sure if they do them in your neck of the woods. Hopefully they do and it can be taken completely out of anyone else's hands and the consequences can play out entirely independent of family decision.
End of soap box moment.
Thanks,
"Why not let the police deal
"Why not let the police deal with him rather than enabling and tolerating the behavior?"
Seriously? Do you not have a TV or see any news online? Both there and in my personal experience the police can be unpredictable at best. https://www.aclu.org/blog/tag/police-brutality
"no medical coverage for emphysema, COPD, and Lung Cancer for those who use even legally."
Since people generally expect health coverage to include things like liver transplants as the result of alcoholism or broken bones as a result of driving recklessly or head injury as a result of choosing to ride without a helmet or joint surgery for a person who has obesity, excluding marijuana seems extreme. I suppose the point is moot though since pot causes none of these diseases... http://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20120103/marijuana-smoking-not-linked_to-...
"No bitching for getting fired for a positive screen whether it is legal or not."
No bitching here. Just wanting to point out that no one screens potential employers for alcohol use. Alcohol is far more dangerous to personal and public health.
Thanks for the information
Thanks for the information and response. You answered my question.
My company does test for alcohol on a reasonable suspicion basis. We do pre-employment screening (12 panel test), annually, randomly on a random number generator basis, and for reasonable suspicion.
The business I run executes very dangerous work in very dangerous locations. Our drug and alcohol policy is not punitive, it is a safety requirement.
I have only had to terminate 2 people for positive drug tests though I have refused to make employment offers due to positive tests for several dozen applicants over the years.
Only one of my employees has lost a job due to alcohol and that was on a negative test. He blew a 0.00. My client smelled alcohol on him, I concur, he reeked. But he was absolutely not under the influence at work. I refused to fire him because he was not in violation of our policy but the client pulled his access pass and would not allow him to return.
My position on marijuana and other illegal drugs and illegally used Rx drugs is the danger they pose. In my industry any lapse in focus even for a split second can kill someone.
Thanks again for your response.
My state passed years ago a
My state passed years ago a provision that allowed the governing body over public school sports, band, and scholastic competitions to do random drug tests. There have been concerns for years that high school athletes have been using steroids. When the provision was passed, parents across the state screamed that it was an invasion of their kids' privacy! Because of that, the organization has not started their random drug testing. As a parent, my stance was...go ahead...test my kid!!! If he or she is doing drugs, I WANT to know! I mean, now many of us have to participate in random drug testing to keep our jobs? That is something that has been going on for years! If you don't want to do random drugs tests, find another job. Same thing with high school sports and such...you don't want your kid to do random drug tests, well they don't have to participate in those activities.
And for the record, BS19 used to do powerlifting and threw shot put in high school. Some of the boys I saw, you can't tell me they were not on steroids! And it wasn't their size that was concerning, it was their behavior! Very much looked like roid-rage! I still will not forget when my son out-threw this one kid on shot put! The guy literally started screaming and punching a wall! How is that normal? How could anyone watch that and not believe that kid was on roids?
Bottom line...if it is
Bottom line...if it is illegal, it is illegal! Unless the parents make the kid face real consequences, nothing will change! SheSloth got in trouble for pot for the first time at age 13! She was shipped to us without BM telling us why...just "I can't handle her any more!" 6 months later, SheSloth moved back with BM, and THAT is when DH finally learned about the pot. 5 months after that (age 14), SheSloth gets in trouble for skipping school, and...guess what...smoking pot! She got caught because she posted pics of herself smoking a fat joint on Instagram, a kid at her school saw it, and went to the principal with it! Off to our house SheSloth is sent again, and this time she is still here. Since then, she hasn't been caught with pot again, but that doesn't mean she is clean! There have been days where she has really seemed out of it...like she was on something. She also got caught with an e-cig last school year, which is a new way for kids to do pot. They can get liquids that contain THC, and they don't risk as much chance of getting caught because you get rid of the smell aspect of it! Then, there was this summer during summer band...the girl that got caught with pot and said it was SheSloth's. SheSloth claims she has no clue why the girl said it was hers, but the girl ended up having charges pressed against her, while SheSloth got away scott-free.
Whether or not to legalize it is not an issue here. The issue is that it currently IS illegal, and breaking the law is breaking the law. If it isn't addressed, the situation will never go away!
Absolutely!!!!
Absolutely!!!!