What would you do?
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BM's driver license are suspended for failure to pay CS. Her EOW visitation starts tomorrow night at 6pm, she text to say she would be picking them up. If she shows up alone (no other driver) to pick the skids up, would you try to talk DH/SO into making them stay home or just let them get in the car with her even though you know her license are suspended?
I would happily let her take
I would happily let her take the kids!!!
Let her take the kids. Its
Let her take the kids. Its just a suspended license for non payment of CS. Its not like she's been drinking and you knowingly stick the kids in the car with her.
Depends on where you live. In
Depends on where you live.
In the state of Florida if you knowingly drive on a suspended license the cop can (and normally DOES) arrest you on the spot.
my DH used to be in law
my DH used to be in law enforcement, he would either let the suspended driver call someone with a valid drivers license to drive the car or have it towed. And normally here in my state they don't arrest they just ticket.
in the cases that my DH were
in the cases that my DH were in, he would normally have the driver call a family member to come get the children. CPS normally would not get called unless there was no where for the kids to go.
thats nice that so many
thats nice that so many people you know can drive around with no license but the bottom line is that its not legal! no matter what your opinion is, the fact remains that its not legal and its not the right thing to do.
to the OP - i dont know if i would cause a scene but its pretty sad that shes obviously setting such a great example for her kids and not supporting them. i'd at least talk to your DH and see if he thinks he has any recourse here. i know that i wouldnt want MY kids in the car with an unlicensed driver.
Her license suspension does
Her license suspension does not make her dangerous but if she is driving it does make her a criminal. Not only is she not licensed, she is not insured. If anything happens, no matter how unlikely, there will be no personal injury coverage to help with medical costs through auto insurance. What POS who drives unlicensed, without insurance, is going to have the intellect or resources to pay for their own children's medical bills or anyone else the injure and not stick their X with those costs? Answer ..... so few as to be nonexistent!.
A POS is a POS and a POS who has a suspended license for non payment of CS has no business driving a car. Particularly a car with the kids that the POS is refusing to support in it. Not only is this POS not supporting her children she is actively endangering them if she is transporting them in an uninsured vehicle while driving without a license.
It amazes me that anyone would have a jollygasm over willfully being a criminal for a year and praise for a cousin who endangers peoples lives while driving interstate without a license as his business. If this BM, you, or your cousin were to injure someone you obviously don't have the resources to pay what you should to make them whole. If you can't afford a DL or auto insurance you clearly don't have the resources to be responsible for your stupid decisions and the harm those decisions may cause someone else. Your cousin's business decisions will cost him everything if he ends up with a major liability judgment against him because insurance coverage is voided by criminal actions. Driving without a license is a criminal action that voids insurance coverage.
*lol* You know, I originally
"they'll either be processed with their mother at the police station, or left on the side of the road as the vehicle is impounded"
Sueu2 is right - the way it's worded implies the children would be left alone (since you listed the mother separately when you said "they'll be processed with their mother"). Sorry.
That's what I was thinking.
That's what I was thinking.
I would tell her ahead of
I would tell her ahead of time, that unless she has someone drive her over, the kids are not going with her. She had her license suspended as a consequence; she is NOT supposed to be driving.
Although it is not up to you or DH to enforce her consequence, neither would I be encouraging her disregard of it. If she can't find someone to drive her and she wants to see her kids, I guess she needs to pay her CS.
ETA: And regardless of what happens if she gets stopped (which could be just a ticket or being arrested), the kids are going to be in the middle of it.
^^^ this!!!
^^^ this!!!
These are the scenario's I
These are the scenario's I had in mind:
1. BM has someone drive her to our house to pick skids up and there is nothing to worry about.
2. BM shows up alone & DH allows skids to go with her. Somewhere along the 45 minute trip back to BM's she is pulled over and in my state the offense is punishable by arrest --- THAT THE CHILDREN WOULD WITNESS!
3. BM shows up alone, DH tells skids to go inside while he and BM speak. He then informs BM that CSS has made him aware that her license are suspended and he will not allow her to drive with their children because he doesn't want to risk "scenario 2", and until her license are reinstated she will need to have a driver bring her to pickup and return skids. Once BM leaves DH can sit down with skids and explain the situation to skids.
Any feed back welcome...
I think giving BM a headsup
I think giving BM a headsup is the better route. Assuming she's somewhat normal. If she's high conflict, then there is no good choice.
DH should text saying CSS let him know her license is suspended and wondering what arrangements she's made for pickup.
I tend to agree with sueu2
I tend to agree with sueu2 here. This reads to me more like you're looking for an excuse to cause trouble and/or keep the kids away from their mother. (Especially if you have "talk DH/SO into making them stay home".)
This is not your battle. Stay out of it.
It is interesting how many
It is interesting how many people are appalled that the copy tased tazed a MOTHER in front of her children. I'm appalled that these people are appalled! Being a mother does not excuse you from the law or from the power dynamics of an arrest or traffic stop.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You could be my new hero of the day. lol.
I dont understand all of these people getting down on the police. Sure there are bad seeds but some people are acting like every officer is bad. But guess who they will call first if someone is trying to murder them or rape them or steal from them...... Yep...the police.
I wouldnt concern myself with
I wouldnt concern myself with it. Like others have said, the lack of license doesnt make a difference in how she drives. If your concern really is the kids, then prepare yourself to help pick them up if an officer does stop her and leaves them on the side of the road.
I wouldn't want my kids in
I wouldn't want my kids in that situation. I would tell her in advance that the kids aren't going if she doesn't have another person drive her. She is doing something illegal by driving with a suspended license and no insurance. If she had a suspended license and you didn't know about it, that is one thing. In this case, you are directly involved in the situation. If anything occurred with the kids in the car, they are going to be affected by it. Why put them in that situation?
That is between her and the
That is between her and the law....I wouldn't do anything...I would stop concerning myself with her life choices...and disengage with any thoughts that pull me into thinking about her life at all...Not your monkey...not your problem...
Well, I discussed it with DH
Well, I discussed it with DH last night...and I think I like it. He said that skids would only resent him if he stopped them from going. Worse case scenario, if she gets pulled over with them in the car the police will call him (as he is the primary custodial parent) to come pick them up, and in the meantime the children will see her wrong doing first hand for themselves. He will not have to be the one to tell them she's doing something wrong, and they will be less likely to believe any lies she tries to tell them to cover herself when it's her vs. a law enforcement officer (& yes, there is a history of habitual lies BM tells skids). Makes sense to me.
Good luck but it may very
Good luck but it may very well be worse than that. IF kids chatter to cops that dad put them in the car and waved to them as they drove off, your dh may end up with some charges of his own.
While it would be funny to
While it would be funny to call the police yourself and see BM taken to jail(In my state, you WILL get arrested and taken to jail and the car WILL be impounded), but sad for the kids having to see that happen and sit and wait for the father to pick up the kids.
I can't stand my skid, though, so unless you A)want your DH to have to do all the drop off/pick ups or B)you want the skids 365 days a year, just let the BM pick up the skids.
If I knew the BM had a suspended drivers license, I MIGHT alert the cops as to where she works, where she lives, and what times she does the commute...just for kicks. Probably the cops have better things to do though.
If she pulls up to your home
If she pulls up to your home driving a vehicle call the police. I would not risk putting kids in a car with an unlicensed driver. It could result in charges against you and DH for endangering a minor should anything happen.
More importantly why would you and their father even consider much less actively endanger these kids by allowing them into a vehicle driven by a criminal?
Keep in mind that if she is unlicensed she is also uninsured. If anything happens and the kids are injured there is no personal injury coverage for their medical costs through auto insurance.
Driving on a suspended
Driving on a suspended license is plain n simple against the law.
Anyone who says it's only bc of cs is justifying her actions. I guess the guy who got his 3 DUI n has a suspended license would be a better choice to pick the precious kids up.
Obey the law ~ it's there for a reason. Funny someone posted yesterday about there teenager getting in a car with four other people to go somewhere. There point was the law says she is only allowed 2 other people in the car. But people on here think BM with the suspended license is justified in driving. Who nucking futs !!! The law is the law ~ you obey it if not you get in trouble.
Would you let your kids drive on a suspended license ???
No your concern. Don't let
No your concern. Don't let her suspended license keep you from getting rid of skids for the weekend.
In my state she runs a high
In my state she runs a high risk of being arrested if a bored cop notices her and decides to run her plate. I would not want the kids to witness that or go through the trauma of what follows.
Knowing some of these BMs, it would at the very least make the kids hate cops, maybe for life. Who wants that?