Had a visual of putting all the food in a blender and serving it out with straws. You know, like one of those liquid diets or the diet for when your jaw is wired shut. Sorry. Don't mind me.
I am assuming "blended family dinner" involves all bio & steps & ex's & currents. Gives me shivers.
That was funny...made me laugh. Yes, the blended family, BM, her BF, SD25 and her BF, SD20 and her BF and SO and I. It's always BM's idea, I really don't think the kids care! They would be just as happy having 2 dinners, one with BM and her BF and one with us. BUT we must show a united 'family'. And BM never fails at having a 'remember when we did ________ SO". And of course, I love hearing those stories. And this is what I mean when I say to posters that just because a skid turns 18, doesn't mean it's over!
How do you Not reach over grab a hand full of BM's hair and slam her face into the closest flat/hard surface when she starts her 'remember when' story?
The kids are in their 20s and BM thinks you need to be a united family? I would hope the kids wouldn't care anymore, but then again I'm decades away from being in this situation, so what do I know?
Hanny, your family is old enough to survive a multi-united-front b-day. Translation: separate dinners. Seriously. SD20 is not 6 years old.
If that side of the family has a rich heritage of bonding through "Remember when" stories, then good for them. Let them. It's their "social story." It's their family dynamic reconnecting. You do not have to waste 2 hours of your life listening to their family history unless you choose.
('Course, many mammals have butt sniffing, spraying urine and other techniques to mark territory and reinforce relationships. ) Just interjecting that thought.
Although, for peace in your relationship and household it might be worth it. You can always sneak into the bathroom and post to STEPT and regale us with tales from a "Blended Family B-day." Have fun with it since it sounds as if you've got it to do.
Hanny, I took a look at your bio and see you have been in a relationship for many years. One of the problems I have found in dealing with steps is that once anything is started it is then difficult to stop.
It has been my experience that when the ex uses the grown children as her ticket to join in and be part of the festivities, it just keeps getting worse.
DH and I started out having our own visits and gatherings with all of our adult children when we were first married. Over the years there were times when he would visit the sd's on his own at the triplex where they and their mother lived.[ Ex and sd's all rented separate apartments} I didn't think anything strange about his going over to attend gsc birthdays, or giving a guitar lesson here and there.
Fast forward 10 years after this started---Every time dh visits, she is there. My absence has just made it easier for the sd's and ex to enjoy their family time together. DH came home on his last visit and told me he called sd on his phone to see if she wanted join him at a restaurant. When she said she was with her mom, DH said to bring her.[ex] Seems some families just do not know boundries. Add to the mix an ex that is single and has no life at the moment, the wonderful memories with the children [a whole 7 years worth] and the long lost re bonding with ex's and sd's immediate family who now keep in touch . I expect if ex finds another boyfriend , she will again be too busy to participate with joining in anything. DH also will not be interested in hanging out with her boyfriend.
If yall are really going to do this, and BM set it up just to walk down memory lane then I think it's pretty much on her to get the bill, all of it. But ok, I probably wouldn't be a total bitch either, I'd chip in 2$ for the tip.
Never once in all of the years of the CO (17+) and the 4 years since it expired has their ever a joint event between my ILs/my family and the Sperm Clan.
No way, ever. They never once attempted to celebrate anything with the Skid. They could have him every other birthday and only had him a single time for his birthday and then did absolutely nothing on that day with the Skid. They never showed up for his HS graduation, his USAF BMT graduation, his tech school graduation, any of his promotion ceremonies. Nothing. Nor did they ever send him a card to recognize any of his birthdays or accomplishments.
For a situation where there is amicability in the blended family dynamic I would not rule out a joint celebration event for a Skid but any joint event between us and the Sperm Clan would probably be a live and very deadly version of a game of CLUE. Fortunately we are far smarter than that toothless drooling gene pool. }:)
Rags in the kitchen with a amplified TAZER so I could watch them flop a catch fire before they finally blessed the planet with their passing.!!!!!
Had a visual of putting all
Had a visual of putting all the food in a blender and serving it out with straws. You know, like one of those liquid diets or the diet for when your jaw is wired shut. Sorry. Don't mind me.
I am assuming "blended family dinner" involves all bio & steps & ex's & currents. Gives me shivers.
great idea! saves money.
great idea! saves money. dinner is over very quick, and the bullshit and drama is done so much sooner.
Great idea!!!
That was funny...made me
That was funny...made me laugh. Yes, the blended family, BM, her BF, SD25 and her BF, SD20 and her BF and SO and I. It's always BM's idea, I really don't think the kids care! They would be just as happy having 2 dinners, one with BM and her BF and one with us. BUT we must show a united 'family'. And BM never fails at having a 'remember when we did ________ SO". And of course, I love hearing those stories. And this is what I mean when I say to posters that just because a skid turns 18, doesn't mean it's over!
How do you Not reach over
How do you Not reach over grab a hand full of BM's hair and slam her face into the closest flat/hard surface when she starts her 'remember when' story?
The kids are in their 20s and
The kids are in their 20s and BM thinks you need to be a united family? I would hope the kids wouldn't care anymore, but then again I'm decades away from being in this situation, so what do I know?
Hanny, your family is old
Hanny, your family is old enough to survive a multi-united-front b-day. Translation: separate dinners. Seriously. SD20 is not 6 years old.
If that side of the family has a rich heritage of bonding through "Remember when" stories, then good for them. Let them. It's their "social story." It's their family dynamic reconnecting. You do not have to waste 2 hours of your life listening to their family history unless you choose.
('Course, many mammals have butt sniffing, spraying urine and other techniques to mark territory and reinforce relationships. ) Just interjecting that thought.
Although, for peace in your relationship and household it might be worth it. You can always sneak into the bathroom and post to STEPT and regale us with tales from a "Blended Family B-day." Have fun with it since it sounds as if you've got it to do.
Stop this now. Tell DH you
Stop this now. Tell DH you will no longer be available for such nonsense, and expect the same out of him.
Hanny, I took a look at your
Hanny, I took a look at your bio and see you have been in a relationship for many years. One of the problems I have found in dealing with steps is that once anything is started it is then difficult to stop.
It has been my experience that when the ex uses the grown children as her ticket to join in and be part of the festivities, it just keeps getting worse.
DH and I started out having our own visits and gatherings with all of our adult children when we were first married. Over the years there were times when he would visit the sd's on his own at the triplex where they and their mother lived.[ Ex and sd's all rented separate apartments} I didn't think anything strange about his going over to attend gsc birthdays, or giving a guitar lesson here and there.
Fast forward 10 years after this started---Every time dh visits, she is there. My absence has just made it easier for the sd's and ex to enjoy their family time together. DH came home on his last visit and told me he called sd on his phone to see if she wanted join him at a restaurant. When she said she was with her mom, DH said to bring her.[ex] Seems some families just do not know boundries. Add to the mix an ex that is single and has no life at the moment, the wonderful memories with the children [a whole 7 years worth] and the long lost re bonding with ex's and sd's immediate family who now keep in touch . I expect if ex finds another boyfriend , she will again be too busy to participate with joining in anything. DH also will not be interested in hanging out with her boyfriend.
This is ridiculous and there
This is ridiculous and there is no way in hell I would participate in this farce.
If yall are really going to
If yall are really going to do this, and BM set it up just to walk down memory lane then I think it's pretty much on her to get the bill, all of it. But ok, I probably wouldn't be a total bitch either, I'd chip in 2$ for the tip.
Oh HALE no. There is no way
Oh HALE no. There is no way on God's green earth that I would share a meal with BM and her BF of the month.
When SS22 got married last year, we didn't even share a meal then. Two families - Two dinners. Period.
Never once in all of the
Never once in all of the years of the CO (17+) and the 4 years since it expired has their ever a joint event between my ILs/my family and the Sperm Clan.
No way, ever. They never once attempted to celebrate anything with the Skid. They could have him every other birthday and only had him a single time for his birthday and then did absolutely nothing on that day with the Skid. They never showed up for his HS graduation, his USAF BMT graduation, his tech school graduation, any of his promotion ceremonies. Nothing. Nor did they ever send him a card to recognize any of his birthdays or accomplishments.
For a situation where there is amicability in the blended family dynamic I would not rule out a joint celebration event for a Skid but any joint event between us and the Sperm Clan would probably be a live and very deadly version of a game of CLUE. Fortunately we are far smarter than that toothless drooling gene pool. }:)
Rags in the kitchen with a amplified TAZER so I could watch them flop a catch fire before they finally blessed the planet with their passing.!!!!!