kissing on lips
As I visit DH's family, I have noticed that they like to kiss on the lips a lot. Doesn't matter what generation, they all do it. I've even seen DH kiss his mom on the lips and I was like "eeek! gross!" Just this weekend I saw the uncle kiss his mom (grandma) on the lips, and I've pretty much seen them all doing it. So of course you might guess where this is going .....ss12 kissing DH on the lips.
I feel that ss12 almost 13 does this when he is feeling insecure and needy from dad ....and it just flat out looks gross. I witnessed it 2 visits ago (right after the honeymoon), DH went to hug him and ss12 went in for the smooch. It just looks so wrong. When DH got back into the car I was like WTF was that?? He said "I don't know, I went to hug him and he kissed me."
DH and I got into a talk about it, I told him it looks really awkward and the kid already has emotional issues, I don't think kissing dad on the lips is helping it any. DH at first was pissed at me and tried to make me the one with the problem, saying that I have "issues" since I didn't even want to dance with my dad at the wedding (I was just being shy and didn't like the idea of all my guests watching us dance) I've never been abused or anything, but DH made me feel at that time like I am the one who is being weird and wrong because it grosses me out.
On the other end maybe I am making it a bigger deal because I feel like DH should only be kissing me on the lips and not his son? I didn't let him kiss me for several days after. His son is always making out with the dog and I told him to stop that because after she pee's she cleans her privates then ss12 lets her lick all over his lips. That's another thing I CANNOT stand....dogs licking me. But I kiss my birds all over .....see maybe the problem is me?!?! Well...my birds don't lick their bums so....
I don't think I've ever kissed my mom on the lips growing up, and def not my dad. I mean as a baby/toddler probably, but not as a pre teen.
DH sided with me and said he won't let him kiss him anymore based on the fact of the emotionally issues mostly I'm sure; and I couldn't stop thinking about the stories I've read on here with dad's massaging their daughters legs and other vomit worthy stories, I just thought to myself....oh god I will be making the post next where DH is massaging ss's ass or something creepy.
So, as its just the "norm" for this family that I've married into to lock lips....should I have thrown a fit or am I over-reacting because my family doesn't do that?
Thoughts? Advice ....more WINE!!!
that was hysterical!!!! Thank
that was hysterical!!!! Thank you for sharing that with me HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA
Makes me happy at these responses so far, glad to know I'm not alone!!!
Tell them in your family
Tell them in your family people kiss ech others but cheeks instead. Smh Inbreds. That's why my skids have cavities and other colds.
It is weird but some families
It is weird but some families are like that. I do think you did the right thing bringing it up though because if he kisses his dad on the lips in front of his peers they will be merciless.
Oh yea, I know this too well
Oh yea, I know this too well as I am closer in age to him than his mother, and my own mother works at the Jr. High. It's not going to be pretty. It looked so nasty when DH and SS kissed, as they are pretty much the same height, they looked so disgusting. For a second I thought I saw a gay couple! Not that I have issues with that but when you see your husband kiss ....I dunno I can't explain my feelings, it's just gross and now I feel like I can tell you all because at first I was scared you all would be mad at me. I couldn't even believe what I just witnessed....it looks SO GROSS!!!
So now I know why SS is always sick?? Because his makes out with his dog who licks his dick all the time and our dog who licks her whoohaaa all the time??? Boys are so gross.
Thank you Sally, I appreciate
Thank you Sally, I appreciate your input! I don't feel like it's just so casual though, its lip locking!! They kiss on the lips to eachother all the time. To me it looks like incest. I do respect my husbands ways, his 13 year old brother killed himself with a gun to the head so I am VERY careful to pick my family fights. Do you have any idea why I might hate it and think it looks disgusting when others grow up with it being okay? I am totally open to all sides!! I feel like a part of me is wrong, but a part of me is also right.
I grew up in a large Italian
I grew up in a large Italian family and they kissed on the lips too. Still do.I never thought anything of it but then when I was around 12 or so I started thinking it was weird to kiss uncles and cousins etc like that. Looking back it IS weird lol. But family dynamics being what they were I thought it was normal.
i started turning my head but the adults still do it. Dont know what culture DHs family is but Im betting SS starts figuring out that its kind of weird on his own.
Also want to add we moved away from the area and now live in a non italian area and I never noticed my DH kissed our BDs on the lips. They never cared but DDs boyfriend said something to her that it was weird. Strange but I never noticed it. My DD defended her and my DH and said its no big deal but I spoke with DH and said shes a teenager now so maybe it should stop. He looked surprised and so did my DD. Lol I realized how strange our customs are to other people so I know where youre coming from. DDs bf kind of had the same reaction.
All cheek kisses here now but in this area we live in they dont even do that. My DH is a very affectionate kind of guy. Me-not so much.
Trying to make your husband
Trying to make your husband view a harmless family and/or cultural tradition as something gross and creepy is wrong.
Your SS will end it in public soon enough. Kids want to fit in with their peers. There's no need to make them feel that this is wrong because it is something you aren't accustomed to.
I have a huge extended
I have a huge extended southern family that spends a lot of time together and we are all huggers. I hug everyone, friends, co-workers, everyone. But in my opinion kissing on the lips is for partners, not anyone else. My BD11 and I always hug and snuggle but we kiss on the cheek, never the mouth, that just seems weird to me. Some people commented that certain cultures and areas that kissing on the lips is normal between family members, so maybe that applies to your DH but personally I think it's strange. If I saw a 13 year old boy kissing a grown man on the lips I would be very concerned! Now the dog is different, LOL. I have a big dopey dog and I give him a big kiss everyday and tell him he's my best buddy, I don't make out with him or swap spit but I do give him sugar.
Wow. My SD try to kiss me on
Wow. My SD try to kiss me on the lips. She is 3. I pulled away and she grab my face. I was sicken I told her I'm sorry I don't like that please stop. I look at my wife and told her what's was with that. Then she told me,that's how her biological father is he kisses her in the lips and his family kisses each other on the lips. I told her,sorry that creeps me out. I don't like that and have a talk to her because it makes me feel comfortable. She has try it a couple of more times just not as much. I agree with you op