BM volunarily accepts lower paying job to try to get Child Support back.....
My husbands exwife (sorry, I dont know all the acronyms, I just joined the group) is driving us beserk. When they first got divorced, their income was fairly close. She wanted more money then she was going to get, so she claimed child care. Hubby had to pay an additional $400 per month for 2 1/2 years. Last year, they went back to mediation. Custody was now adjusted to 50/50, and because we now had proof of the child care costs were fraudulent, her attorney told her that she could end up having to pay over $12K back. She now came into mediation saying she wanted ZERO for child support in order to avoid the entire lie that she had created even being mentioned. They also agreed at that time that each would cover 50% of any activies/medical/school. In the past 14 months since that new agreement was reached, she has paid zero, while we have paid over $2000 in therapy and sports activities. We recently found out that she left her good paying job and accepted a bank teller position making about $20K less per year. Last week we emailed her that their son wanted to play a sport and my husband was going to coach. Her half was $100. Her first email was that she would LOVE for him to play with his friends, but at this time, due to her new lower paying job, she cannot afford the expense. She asked for us to give her options. The option we sent back was to allow her to make payments in the amount of whatever worked for her. Well, either she didn't like that we didnt ignore her 50%, or she was looking for any way to get back to court now that she is making less money - the threat email came back to us saying that he could play in her town (son wants to play where dad will coach) for less money, and since they cannot reach a decision on this (she never told us she disagreed, only told us she couldnt afford it now, so we gave her an option that she asked for), that she would have no ohoice but to go back to court to ammend the child support order. This all being said -- can she voluntarily accept a lower paying job after agreeing to zero child support and then come back `14 months later to have that support ammended to get child support because she took a lower paying job? We live in CO....and we have this entire conversation with her saying she can't afford $100 but she is going to start the proceess to go back to court (how can she afford that to benefit her, but can't afford to make payments to afford $100 for her son).....
I could go on and on about
I could go on and on about what an idiot she is.....All she truly wants to do is hurt my husbands wallet....she doesn't care about her son...I just hope that if it comes back to mediation again, or better yet, an appearance in front of a judge, that all that we have agaisnt her -- the day care expense lies, not following thru on her agreement (she is the one who demanded therapy, chose the more expensive therapist out of the three we provided to her, and then never took her son to an appoinment for the therapist to evaluate thier relationship and never paid us back a dime), and then now her taking the lower paying job -- will make everyone see what she truly is - a narcasist who is only worried about what benefitss her and not her son.,.. we wish we could get him with us full time, but thats a tough nut to crack here in CO....If anyone is out there with this kind of experience, I would love to hear some thoughts...
I would have your DH start
I would have your DH start gathering documentation. If the courts see that a parent willingly accepts a lower job (rather than getting laid off or otherwise forced to get a lesser job), they can impute income based on what the parent COULD be earning.
Chances are, though, that the BM is just blowing smoke so you guys give up on collecting from her. And, in reality, if my DH would have had that option? I would tell him to go ahead and pay the entire thing rather than have the BM go back to court to get CS reinstated.
But then again, when you have BMs who are more concerned with money and actually LOVE the drama, then you might as well prepare for a court fight.
I think we can all agree that
I think we can all agree that it's stupid on her part...but what will the courts say....she worked a retail job where she worked nights and had minimal time with her son....could she turn this to a judge by saying that she wanted more time with him when she had him? Would they buy that? Or will she get her hand slapped based on her previous documented behavior....she did have more then enough seniority at her last job that she could have worked her hours around her son, but she NEVER chose to before... She has him Mon and Tues nights, wee have him Wed and Thurs nights, then we switch off weekends.....we get two weeks of vacation with him every year, she has the same option but in 4 years has never opted for even one week....however, she'll go on vacation with her live in boyfriend and give the son to us -- and we want all the extra time with him we can get.....we have EVERYTHING documented via email, calendars, ect....
We do continue to pay
We do continue to pay everything and honestly, we have no issue with it because it is for the sons best interest....but who holds her accountable for the responsibility of the son? It's not even about the money, for me, I'm good with documenting EVERYTING in the hopes that some day, the courts will see that my husband is truly the best parent and that our household is the best place for him.
And trust me when I say that
And trust me when I say that this BM (love bowel movement) isn't blowing smoke....she is going to use this sports thing as an excuse to get him back to court....she plays the victim well, until you slap her a few times -- then she goes cowering in the corner...at least for a few weeks.....in reality, she can not go back to court until July, and I cant wait till she goes back using the excuse of less income...then we have this email chain to show that one month after she started her new job, she had it set in her mind to go back. she is a true manipulator and hasn't learned yet that she should not manipulate the system. Eventually there has to be a judge who gets mad that she uses the system every two years for this BS
Colorado law does not allow
Colorado law does not allow for one or the other to pay for Legal fees. Each is responsible for thier own. She has requested that twice already and it does not happen. We are tired of her getting away with her crap. The child care fees that she received the first two and a half years were 3 times the amount of the child support and it was all fraudulent. This will go to mediation before it goess to a judge -- thats another county rule where we are...How can she not have to follow the rules, but it if were the other way around, my husband would have to or he would be held accountable.
Too bad she doesn't have a
Too bad she doesn't have a penis; then they would IMPUTE her income.
The Courts do not see it as
The Courts do not see it as you do. They look at her education and training, not her current job. In this economy, everyone has had to lower their standards some. As for junior playing sports, sorry to tell you, but you have to follow the CO unless it gets modified. Let her know she can get a part time job to honor her CO, or she can pay you by set date or go on record as breach of contract. Problem is you will go to war and its not worth it. She cannot just pick and choose how to enforce the CO. It is an agreement based on compromises, so they all tie in together.
DH's ex pulled the fraudulent babysitting gig too... New she calls for every dime extra until DH told her that is what CS is for, so she stopped.
Thats the thing -- she didn't
Thats the thing -- she didn't loose her job....she was at hear previous job over 10 years and just decided to leave for a lower paying job....this was by choice that she left a job where she had plenty of seniority to designate her own schedule....her job was not in jeopardy...she even stayed at the old job part time when she started the new gig until the old job found her replacement....
We're not trying to go to war....we just keep documenting ALL of her pitfalls....at some point, whether now or in the future we will end up in court....she will want money again....and at that point, she will owe us plenty of $$ because she chose not to abide by any of the CO....my husband does what is right by his son -- unlike her...she does nothing and up till now, has gotten away with it....the madness needs to stop....
What happened with the fraudulent babysitting? Did your husband get his money back from her? We don't even want the money back -- we just want her to realize that she blew thru all the money in 2 1/2 years that she would have been given over time till the son is 18....had she not gotten greedy and wanted more then she was getting based on the lie, she wouldnt have had to go back to court and say that she wanted zero....now she's going to get greedy again....she wants to financial responsibility for her son....we would gladly take on the sporting and medical fees -- IF my husband would get 100% of the say.....she scheduled a tonsilectomy and adenoidectomy without my husband knowing....once he found out, he cancelled the surgery but this is the kind of thing that we deal with....she does these things so that she can be the one who gets the pity because her son went thru an unnecessary surgery because her family doesn't believe in keeping thier tonsils....she is a NUT!