You can't have your daughter staying overnight with him in the house. It may already be too late if they're smart enough to keep it quiet. Please don't be naïve enough to think you're little girl didn't have anything to do with it and he's all to blame. That would be really stupid.

So unless you want to take your daughter up to that cabin every weekend, which isn't a bad idea if its accessible in the winter, then you've got to find other accommodations until all this is resolved. I'm not saying a divorce, just separate quarters until the kids are out of the home.

As for the boy he'll outgrow it in time but I would make it clear to the wife that he's going to have to stop one way or another when he graduates from high school. Weather its leaving the house or simply getting his act together. He's obviously traumatized by another man with his mother and can deserve some consideration. Considered counseling? They can do wonders.

I am glad that you gave both your SS-16 and DD-14 clarity on the inappropriate sexual activity.

As a man I can't even imagine tolerating one instance of any of this crap much less 5 years of it.

Change the locks, boot the molesting little Oedipus POS and his mother who is completely lacking in character and protect your daughter from any more of this toxic cesspool of a situation.

Your DW using her 16yo son as a mini husband sharing private conversations between the two of you with him is enough evidence to prove her lack of character IMHO.

Either deal with it all decisively or tolerate it. I know which way I would go were I you.

Good luck.

Dear fxstsrider,

I read your initial post and can say that your situation is similar to mine. I have only one SS, and no children of my own. My SS is quite similar regarding the jealousy about my wife and I being together. Between ages 10 and 12, when we all first moved together, he used to sit and paw at the door and whine like a puppy when I was with my wife in the bedroom with the door locked. At age 14, if I sit with my wife on the sofa, he will run over put his hand on her face. Sometimes he says if we kiss, he's going to rip her out of my hands.

The backstory on the SS is too long to go into here. I will just say that he was raised as if he were a house pet by his mother and grandparents in an utterly permissive and indulgent environment. She bathed him and dressed him until he was 10. When he wouldn't eat dinner, she would hold the fork to his mouth and feed him like a small baby. She used to lay in bed with him every night until he went to sleep, until age 13. She stopped, not because I told her (I've told her for the past 4 years) but only because a psychologist has told her not to. So what is going on at night now, is that he begs every night for her to come into his bed. He also will come into our bedroom when she is laying down and lay on top of her. She protests loudly, but - as with all other signs of adult disapproval, he's learned to ignore it because, as he once told me, "they don't really mean it" and he is right. She doesn't mean it enough to stop it. I told her just last night when he did this again that, your son just mounted you, and that, one of these days when he's in a hormonal rush, you're going to get a big surprise.

And this is only on small part of the overal situation, so I don't want to go on and on about this. I'm just saying it as a way to illustrate how I see you in a similar situation as me.