"At First, I Was Glad To Help"...

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Isn't it funny how some of, who just happened to be blessed with the gift of kindness/helfulness, start out our relationships with..."Sure, I'd be more than glad to help with ______" but, then we end up with, "I'm SO SICK OF THIS CRAP!"? I'm certainly one of those people. When SD7 came back into our lives, after being totally removed for 2 years by BM and her marriage/move, I was like, "Sure, I'll take SD7 EVERY Saturday that I'm off and DH and BM are at work...no problem!" I took SD7 to the movies, zoo, shopping, whatever.

It didn't take long before I got really tired of doing these things and never felt like anyone truly appreciated what I did. It seemed like SD7 really didn't have that much fun either, most of the time. And, I got tired of it always just being a case of buy, buy, buy me stuff. Especially when I'd tell her NO, I'd never hear the end of it. So, I told DH I no longer wanted to spend MY Saturdays off taking care of SD7, when her sister, who lives with BM, or BM herself (if she's off), could be taking care of her. Why should I sacrifice MY time for a child that's not even mine?! I've done my "tour of duty" with my own children, who are grown and out of the house. DH still makes comments about it sometimes. Like, "We all know why you don't have her on Saturdays anymore...it's because you don't like her." I just tell him, "It's my choice." And he says, "Yes, it is." But, I know he's thinking..."But, you still don't like her." Oh well! Truth be told, I don't like my SS17, either. DH didn't really like my 2 boys either. So...it's all mutual. DH and I love each other, we just don't like each others kids. LOL

Oh, I forgot to mention that

Oh, I forgot to mention that 99.9% of the time I'm the one who drives SS17 to and from work as well! I don't get that either. DH gets home by 5 PM. On the days I work, I don't get home until alsmot 8 PM. I get home long enough to eat dinner, then turn around and go pick SS17 up at 9:30 or 10:00 PM from his work. Then, I'm the first one to get up in the morning (at 5 AM) on the days I work! I b*tch and moan and groan about having to go pick him up, too, but DH just lays on the couch. Once in a while he'll go with me. But, must of the time I go get him. Why don't I like going to get him? Because most of the time, the entire converstaion consists of SS17 b*tching about anything and everything! I don't want to hear it. I crank up the music in the car and drive. We're working on getting him his license...and I can't WAIT for that day!!!!!!

I SO wish I could disengage.

I SO wish I could disengage. Truly! I think my mind just keeps saying, "But, DH had to deal with my youngest son when he lived with us...so, I should do the same." My youngest son was ages 15-18 when he lived with us. He had some issues, and I didn't know how to handle him so DH would step in. I didn't ask him to, he just did. Once my son turned 18, we told him he needed to move out if he was going to continue the path that he was on, and he did move out. DH wanted me to make my son move back in with his father. I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't have been a good situation for my son. I wish I could make my SS17 move in with his BM, problem is...BM lives in Texas somewhere and we live in Oklahoma. BM hasn't been a part of this kids life since he was probably 5 because she chose alcohol and an abusive man over her own son. DH took SS17 out of that situation and never looked back. SS17 has no contact with his BM. So, sending him to her isn't even remotely possible. We just keep reminding ourselves, "One more year and he'll be 18!" Meanwhile, I'm still the doormat!