SD blamed me for issues with FDH
So I have 2 bio kids. FDH has 5 bio kids. 4 to bm1. We went on vacation to visit his family and took the youngest kids but in lieu of taking the teenagers who would not have had any fun we did things with them all summer during our custody time. SD 16 never came to anything except one thing cause she is boy crazy and doesn't want to leave her boyfriend for a weekend. She also blew FDH off for Father's day and lied to him to be with her boyfriend.
We explained to all the kids that we were doing this mini trip for the little kids which includes my 2 bios and SD2 but the older kids got to pick other activities all summer. They seemed to get it.
Well she texts him today basically saying that we exclude her from evething and he has changed since he met me and basically said this is my fault. She says that he has replaced them with my kids, etc.
I am more than good to these kids i do everything for them that I can. It's not my fault she chooses her boyfriend over us. I am really hurt because I thought they liked me and then I realize that this is the case.
Great way to end my vacation...
I guess SD16 has no plans If
I guess SD16 has no plans
If they were ok with it when explained ~ why is there an issue.
She just layed the biggest guilt trip on her father. She cut his jugular ~ kicked him in the balls.
What is/was his reaction ???
He was really angry at first
He was really angry at first but then the talked and he told her that he understood that she feels that way and they'd talk more about it later. He feels bad and guilty now too.
How old are your two n his
How old are your two n his others ??
16 is a tough age !
DD2, DS5, SD2, SS11, SD16,
DD2, DS5, SD2, SS11, SD16, SS18, SD20
11 & 16 ~ that's a difficult
11 & 16 ~ that's a difficult call.
The older ones could probably careless ~ I would imagine. Unless you went to something like sesame place.
My SD did something similiar
My SD did something similiar but she wrote him a letter so he has a constant reminder in writing !
I have NEVER read the letter ~ nor do I wish too ~ the playing him like a violin for her own convince wore very thin on me. My incident had nothing to do with a vacation. He told me ~ they she basically just kicked him in the balls.
It's a tough call ~ !
He needs to understand
He needs to understand teenagers are lost to their parents sometimes lasting until they're married or late twenties. It worse if the parent is non-custodial. There are books on raising kids this age let give one a try. Amazon.com perhaps.
My SD15 wrote one of these
My SD15 wrote one of these letters to DH this summer. I didn't read it either. But some of the specifics have come out including that he's "changed" since he met me.
Right in front of me a few weeks later she yelled at him "you're not my dad anymore!" And more horrid stuff. This is about the 4rth such lovely download of this type of venom in a year.
When she wrote the hate letter, she pretty much lost me for good. She has the best dad in the world and to treat him like that? Yeah, that kid is big red slash circle stamp for me.
DH has reacted by being very hurt, of course. But he is super patient and tolerant, too. He has told her that she may think he's changed but the fact is SHE has changed because, quite naturally, she's not a little girl any more and he would be a bad parent if he didn't do things differently as she got older.
He has completely kept the heat off me and I sure love him for that.
His other reaction is that he's finally getting sick of her sh&t himself. Less eager to see her. Doesn't mind going longer stretches of not seeing her.
Chief ~ I feel the same way.
Chief ~ I feel the same way. I don't understand the full fledged hatred towards me ~ if your father changed that's on him. Yes and I sgtew he has changed ~ he opened his freakin eyes and saw the sneaky manipulative liar that you are. He has seen where all he is to you is an ATM. He has watched you turn into your narcassistic mother. You think you are a perfect ~ you are delussional.
You father did everything for you ! You want him when you want him but you don't want him when we wants you. Don't cast stones from your glass house Veruca. When your father wanted to spend time with you the bf was more important. Time after time of asking to spend time with you for the answer to always be NO ~ it gets old n you know groveling is not his style.
I have done nothing that I wouldn't have done to my own children. You will not dictate my rules in My home. Remember sweetheart ~ my name is on this house. Not yours ~ you have zero say. It has been wonderful n peaceful in my home. Thank you ~ cause I got the best deal.
You hurt your father n you could careless about your behavior ~ I could/would never have dreamed to hurt my father like you did n continue to do. You want to hurt him bc of me ~ look in the mirror sweetie pie. I am not going anywhere ~ get used to my face. I will never look at you the same way I use to. Your mean ways will get you know where. For all the negative things that have happened to you ~ everything for us stays the same. Now I ask you ~ who lost ????
Fantastic. Just how I
Fantastic. Just how I feel.
"I could/would never have dreamed to hurt my father like you did n continue to do."
This is what stuns me. I've never heard of such a thing before and I am horrified to see it with my own eyes. I've known lots of kids and none of that behavior is "normal." It's just plain vicious. Mean.
People keep telling me "she's a teenager." Like that explains it.
No. It. Does. Not.