Thoughts on letting a 13 y/o girl watch OITNB
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My SD who lives with us is 13 year old and during a random conversation mentioned that she watches Orange Is The New Black on Netflix. My mouth dropped as I've seen a couple of episodes and it's even a little risque for me and I'm 44. I mentioned to my DH my feeling about the show and that I don't think it's appropriate for her to watch. My DH feels that it must be okay because the ex let's the kid watch it. Well, the kid lives with us now. He further went on to say that he would have to watch it first to make a decision. What? I told him about it. I left it alone. What are your thoughts? Am I crazy or over-reacting?
My dd is 13 and she watches
My dd is 13 and she watches it with me, yes it is a little risque but I rather her watch it with me so I can explain things to her. The series is based on a true story.
I have never seen "hard core
I have never seen "hard core sex scenes" I have seen less then soft porn. I also think each person has a different perspective on things like that. What one might find offensive, someone else doesn't.
OP I don' think it is really any of your business. Let her father watch it and decide. There is a very valuable saying I learned here. Not my circus not my monkeys
The show is straight up foul
The show is straight up foul language and lesbian prison porn. You cannot be serious. WTF would you need to explain to a 13 year old that happens on that show? Oral sex? Humping a prison guard and getting prego? Yuck.
I have never seen "hard core
I have never seen "hard core sex scenes" I have seen less then soft porn. I also think each person has a different perspective on things like that. What one might find offensive, someone else doesn't.
OP I don' think it is really any of your business. Let her father watch it and decide. There is a very valuable saying I learned here. Not my circus not my monkeys
^^^^^^^^^^^^^Well
^^^^^^^^^^^^^Well Said^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm not sure how I'm
I'm not sure how I'm "judging" her if I raise my concern to my husband. She has no clue about my feelings and her watching it. Watch the show, don't watch the show, but I think a conversation should be had about it, sex, profanity, etc. between his daughter and him.
Let me ask you something?
Let me ask you something? What kind of BM are we dealing with here? Is she CRA CRA, or is she like many of the BM's here on STalk. I'm only asking because I have a 13 year old and a conversation about sex and profanity between a 13 yo girl and her Dad may be awkward on both ends. It is more of a conversation her Mom should be having with her assuming she is not a lunatic and is allowing her to watch the show.
Again it really isn't your concern or business what BM does or doesn't allow HER child to watch. I stay out of all things SKIDS and what they watch, wear, ect.
Do yourself a favor and save yourself years of heartache and aggravation follow the above advice.
You are not judging. You have
You are not judging. You have a very valid concern. I would be equally concerned. The show is inappropriate for children, tweens, teens and after 1-2 episodes your spouse would likely agree. You are not out of line...AT ALL.
I had a fairly sheltered
I had a fairly sheltered upbringing and I know I learnt a lot about the world by watching tv and what happened to the characters on there. Usually I would watch on my own but sometimes with my mum and we would talk about stuff that came up. A 13 year old knows about sex and drugs and swear words, maybe not everything to do with it but they know they exist. If as others have suggested it is used as a conversation starter to discuss those topics then that is good. I think the show would have quite a few good lessons, generally everyone who does bad stuff has consequences happen for those bad decisions, but it also paints people as humans and looks at why the ladies are in prison which helps with teaching not to judge a book by its cover but to try to understand what might have led someone to make decisions that they did.
While I understand you're
While I understand you're trying to be helpful, your tone and verbiage are not coming off that way. I am new to this whole step-parenting thing and I feel berated by you rather than helped. I'm not looking to be coddled, but I don't need to be left feeling some kind of way either. I'll just say thank you and duly noted to the your advice.
sueu2 is dead on here.
sueu2 is dead on here. Welcome to the harsh realities of step-parenting.
I think of my SO's son as the "neighbor's kid". It isn't my problem if the neighbor kid doesn't take a shower, doesn't do his homework or is allowed to watch something I don't "approve" of. I am NOT his parent. Before I open my mouth to SO about his kid, I've started asking myself "Would I say that to the neighbor about his/her child?" If not I keep my mouth shut.
Yes there are shows that my SO's son can watch at mom's that he can't watch here, but that is DAD's decision, not mine. I may be off-base here but it seems like BM made most, if not all of the parenting decisions, for the child and Dad is still deferring to her judgement. He MAY never step up to the plate and you may have to live with that. I paid VERY careful attention to the way SO parented to insure we were on the same page (for the most part) before I made a commitment to the relationship.
I agree that some things are not appropriate for young teens to watch. That said, as soon as you use (or imply) the word "should" or "should not" you are judging, imho. I can see why your comments might have been taken as a 1. judgement about his daughter, 2. judgement about his parenting and 3. criticism of BM's judgement.
Sugar-coated lemons are still sour. Sueu2 is just being frankly honest and I, for one, greatly appreciate it.
No child that lives in my
No child that lives in my house would watch that show. I have tried to watch it on several occasions and I have a hard time dealing with the constant lesbian prison scenes, they are unnecessary and add no value to the story. My son is 12, there is NOT ONE thing on that show that he needs to see or have explained to him. Seriously. :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
My SD12, almost 13, wants to
My SD12, almost 13, wants to watch that show. DD20 and I have seen every episode and there is NO WAY I'd let SD watch it.
Praise Jesus, a voice of
Praise Jesus, a voice of reason.
I whole heartedly concur. I am about to watch S2:E9 now and told my husband about this thread and feels the same way. No way is this show remotely appropriate for anyone under the age of 18. Shooot it is really not appropriate for me, but I have a penchant for prison shows.
as much as we try to protect
as much as we try to protect children, they will do as they please. sds were having sex when they were 14 and also drinking alcohol. bm was the custodial parent and dh did not want to believe what i told him. sds bragged about their lives to my brothers daughter. go figure.
Im my opinion it's a great
Im my opinion it's a great show that tells a great story from "true" circumstances, and I like it a lot; but it VERY risqué, enough so to make adults uncomfortable (including myself. I'm sorry, that much nudity is just NOT necessary, can't in just be implied once in a while?) Anyway, It's by NO MEANS age appropriate AT ALL for a thirteen year old. If her mother lets her watch it that's her business, but that doesn't mean you can't ban it in your own house.
I totally agree. The
I totally agree. The obsession with oral sex on this show, both gay and straight, is unreal. I am on the last episode of season two and I want to scream "enough already!!!!!"
I love the show and agree it
I love the show and agree it is not appropriate for a 13 yo. But raising the concern to your dh is the only step for you to take.
If it were me and dh decided to let her watch, the only other step I would take is walking out of the room if she is watching it.
This.
This.
Again I agree. I often wonder
Again I agree. I often wonder if people are being real on this site because some of the statements are just so out there/off their rockers, or if these women really are off their rockers. Seriously, the show is borderline disgusting and I am almost 40. No way in hell would anyone under the age of 18 would watch it in my home. My 21 year old SS watched a portion of an episode and actually got up and left because he was grossed out. Hello!!
The show is borderline
The show is borderline disgusting? Then don't watch it. That's life in prison, unfortunately. Gay sex, oral sex, violence, drugs. Oh, and real stories of women. Maybe not 13 yo but no one under 18? Seriously? You think a 16 yo would be shocked by OITNB?
I love the show, but NO WAY
I love the show, but NO WAY appropriate for sd13.
Of course, DH gave her access to NetFlix and doesn't monitor- whatever... Last I checked, she watched OITNB and Breaking Bad.
Seems like she may need it to disseminate what happens in her own freakshow house...