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Friday night blues, anyone else?

Sadasusual's picture

FDH and I have a huge amount of space between us every time FSS5 stays with us for the weekend. FDH and I are extremely close and in touch with each other every other day of the week. Last weekend DH pointed out that we just drift apart when his son is around, like everyone's role in the house changes and it's uncomfortable. I've found myself really dreading every other weekend because it's like being away from him. Even if we are together, we don't feel "together" if that makes any sense. Any body else feel this way?

Sadasusual's picture

Thank you! I'll take comfort in that. FDH is strangely extremely understanding to all my little issues with this "package deal". I'm scared of feeling this way when we have our own children!

Poodle's picture

Er... you likely will. It's nothing to be scared of if you 2 can communicate as well as you seem to be doing now. Just don't feel guilty about not having the full depth of maternal feeling for your SS. You can be a perfectly lovely aunt figure.

Orange County Ca's picture

It'll get worse but I agree communications is huge.

But it'll get worse. Think about this.

Sadasusual's picture

Thank you! That's exactly how I feel, and I feel like it's mostly me because they are happy, and nobody is doing anything wrong. I don't have any kids of my own so I know that makes if worse. Sometimes I wish I did so that he might see how I feel sometimes. Like right now, Saturday morning and he's already gotten up, the kid will be up soon so I'm afraid to even leave my bedroom. I want to spend the day with my sweetheart, it was a long tiring work week and that's all I want. But instead I've decided to distance myself, probably go shopping for the day out of town. It feels better being apart, rather than being together but feeling apart.

Sadasusual's picture

That sounds so unhappy, I don't want to have a divided family. All I've ever wanted is a close family, and I'm afraid I'm never going to feel that. I'm sorry that you have to feel this way. My BF is great, and his son is a pretty good kid and he adores me, it's just so hard to feel like "family". I am to the point where the more time and love I invest in this relationship, the more I can't stand the package deal. I feel guilty but I even hate it when BF gives his son affection. How horrible is that?! BF and I have been talking a lot about getting married in the past few weeks, I'm just scared to make that leap.