MY SS is lazier than YOURS!!

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We moved recently. SS wanted to come over during the biggest moving days, DH just kept telling me he could really be a big help. Yeah, right. This kid is the laziest thing I've ever seen. DH and I were taking things out to the moving truck, SS (nearly 13) would follow us empty-handed. DH finally told him to grab something on his way out. Not kidding... the very next trip out, he walks ahead of me with one single wire rack from the fridge, dangling from his pinky. I told him not to overdo it.

He was supposed to be helping DH with some of the bigger items that were left, none of which were too big. All the heavy-heavy stuff had already been moved. At one point, DH walks over to me and says, "I know you're probably going to be mad, but I might as well take him back to his mom's because he is the laziest thing I've ever seen and he's just making me mad. And he has a very foul odor to him. I can't take it." I told DH that's exactly what SS would love, to just get out of helping, but hey... do what you want with your kid. I loudly announced that if SS wanted to keep certain things, like his basketball hoop and an entertainment stand that has "sentimental value" (because it was purchased by DH and BM together before the divorce), that he would have to help DH move them or they would be left at the curb. No way was I giving him a free ride. I think DH got a true glimpse of what is so obvious to me every day.

But what is Daddy going to do

But what is Daddy going to do about it? Taking the kid home just rewards his behavior. I would have made the kid work if I had to follow him around and remind him every minute what he's supposed to be doing.

Yeah, me too, had it been my

Yeah, me too, had it been my kid. In fact, I remember teachable moments like that with my kids. Most kids will try to get away with doing as little as possible, but this kid takes it to new heights.

Not a chance that yours is

Not a chance that yours is lazier than mine was at that age.

Me: Son, please go move the pot off of the burner until your mom gets back.

Skid: Sighs, huffs, puffs, delays, slowly walks the 15ft from the table to the stove, moves the pot to a different burner then slowly walks back to the table leaving flames shooting 6inches in to the air on the now vacant burner. :? :O :jawdrop:

Me: Son, you need to vacuum the living room when you get home from school today. We don't want the pine needles from taking the Christmas tree out left too long or they will stain the carpet.
Skid: Un huh.

Meanwhile back and the living room and the next day: I pull in the drive way and see a flurry of movement in the living room. I walk in and right down the middle of the pine needle covered living room is a strip one vacuum cleaner head wide of pine needle free carpet. The rest of the room is covered in pine needles.

Me: Son, you vacuumed the living room?
Skid: Uh huh.
Me: Son, you vacuumed the living ROOOM?
Skid: Uh huh.
Me: SON YOU VACUUMED THE LIVING ROOOOOOOMMMMMMM?
Skid: Yes I did.
Me: You ran the vacuum down the middle of the room. What about the rest of it?
Skid: Harummmmphhh. I VACUUMED.
Me:Okay. Here is a plastic bag. You will now get down on your hands and knees and pick up every single remaining pine needle. When you are done you will notify me and I will inspect the job. If I find one pine needle or even a piece of a pine needle, or anything that looks like is related to a pine tree I will blister your bare butt with a belt. You are 14 do you think it is too much to ask for you to actually do what you are asked? How about getting a spanking? Don't you think that 14 is a little old for that? MOVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Among many, many, many other incidents.

As for your foul odored lazy Skid ... daddy needs to haul him to the back yard. Strip him down, hose him off, squirt half a bottle of dish soap all over him them scrub him top to bottom with a stiff scrub brush. Then inform him that he either bathes every day like a human and puts on clean clothes or he will get the hose party each and ever time he fails to do so. Then daddy needs to go to Home Depot or Lowes and buy 3 tons of pea gravel. A shovel and two buckets. SS can spend his free time filling buckets and moving the pea gravel pile from one end of the driveway to the other until he gets a clue about the consequences of being lazy.

Grrrrr!!! This kid and I would go rounds if he was in my house.

The ultimate fix for my Skid was military school followed by a 6 year USAF enlistment. He finally has extricated his head from his ass and is doing very well.

How old is your Skid by the way?

Hang in there and good luck with your Skid.

Love love love the bit with

Love love love the bit with the pine needles!

Yep, do that first. Then

Yep, do that first. Then step up the consequences.

My BD11 has known about good

My BD11 has known about good hygiene for as long as I can remember because I always stressed the importance of good bathing, and as she got older about deoderant, clean clothes, etc... Why at 14 is Dad just now noticing that the kid is funky? They start to stink by like 10!

Oh SD8 is lazy too and is

Oh SD8 is lazy too and is really into games on her tablet, like if she gets any closer to it she might bump her face! This is the kid that pisses on everything and smears shit on my walls, but she can work a tablet. And she smells pissy to me all the time, I have just given up saying anything to SO because he claims he she smells fine to him and he doesn't smell pee. SO's mother NEVER invites her to spend the night, the day, nothing! Because she's a brat and no fun to be around! But then I see that his mother has invited his sister's child over and all theses pictures of them having a fun weekend on Facebook, I can't say I blame her though, I don't want SD8 at my house either.

And you are not his waitress, fixing a pb&j sandwich doesn't require a stove or a home economics degree, he's just a lazy kid who wants you to wait on him. NEGATIVE