Then don't acknowledge theirs! It's that easy! My skids all forgot my birthday this year- a rather significant age, and DH has already said not to acknowledge theirs. He said they are all old enough for a taste of their own medicine...

Bitch SD ignored DH this year and last including Father's Day. Screw them! I know it hurts DH but it just reinforces what a self centered brat she is. Same goes for the 6 golden eggs. Sickening. Can't even pick up the phone. Rude and disturbing. BTW, since princess brat can't recognize her father, her $100 for her bday and her $100 for Xmas have stopped. If she's too good to call then she's too good for our money. }:)

Happy Birthday to your DH! That's fantastic you guys had a ball!

As for golden eggs..fuck'em.. give them NOTHING - no acknowledging of future birthdays, xmas', thanksgiving..etc..etc.. They are rude, ungrateful pieces of shit who deserve jack diddly shit from you guys.

I know it sucks 'cos you see DH hurting but give it time..time has a way of healing and one day...one day..it'll be just a passing thought.. let them stew in their own pit of self-entitledness and self-pity..karma WILL come and bite them in the ass!

Tell the skids, when their birthdays roll around, that that you will no longer be exchanging birthday gifts with them as you do not want them to feel obligated to give you or DH one, and it is obvious they don't want to be obligated. It puts it on them. They can't say anything. If they do, say, "We're just thinking of you."

They weren't taught manners. Whose fault is that? Daddy or Mommy or both?

Also keep in mind that todays young adults are very self centered. The world DOES revolve around them.

SD17 has started doing this. I blame DF for not checking her behind the first time she "forgot" his birthday or Father's Day. By not confronting her about it, he sends the message thay it isn't a big deal.

I know this story so well!! I used to go all out for x-mas and the skids B-Days. I always made their B-Days very special and cooked whatever favorite dinner they wanted. When my first B-day with them rolled around I got a cursory "Happy B-day" from them as they were walking out the door to hang with friends. They didn't even sit down to dinner that my DH made for me. I remember thinking how very odd that was but I just let it slide. They did acknowledge DH's B-day and Father's Day for 2 years because I constantly brought it up and reminded them of the big days. After those 2 years nothing came from these merry band of idiots. I turned 40 and not a single word was said to me - nothing!! Dh continues to give them $ and a card for their B-Days and even buys them a cake. I don't do squat for them. Even though he doesn't go all out like I used to, he still acknowledges those special days for them but he never ever gets anything in return. Not a word! And the SS23 and SD19 live in the house!! It's not like they are in another state. They can't even say Happy B-Day or Happy Father's Day to him when they pass him in the hallway!?!? It's infuriating!

My bio daughter (22) calls and sends DH a card for both his B-Day and Father's Day! She does this every year without fail and she lives in another state! Last year she didn't have much money as she just moved into a new apartment so what does she do.....she hand made a card for him! It was awesome! DH said "I wish my kids were more like yours. I'm not even her Father but she treats like I am and she always respects me". I was thinking to myself that it's because I raised her with compassion, empathy and expected respect! Duh!

Toywas, good for you and for your DH that you made his special day fun! I am dealing with the same set of issues (the skids are young adults) and my answer, just like yours, is to spend time with DH's extended family, and ignore the brats hurtful silence. They have shown what they are made of, and DH feels like the 20 years of his life spent in that marriage were a waste. Which they certainly were. Nothing i can do about that. BM and skids are assholes. I am sure genetic and environmental factors have conspired to produce a perfect shit-storm - personality disorders, high conflict tendencies, toxicity all around.

A few months ago my SIL and I planned a huge surprise for DH's BIG birthday - a family reunion in his home town where his sister still lives. They share a birthday, and their older brother's birthday is close also, so we went all out. I booked the 4 of us tickets in advance, my kids had to miss a few days of school, but we had a fantastic time! Unforgettable! Went back to the house where my DH grew up, had a big celebration with very lovely people... He was intensely happy for a change.

For about a month before that trip i kept wondering, should i reach out to the skids and suggest that they bury the hatchet and join us, surprising DH even more? I would have even paid for plane tickets... If they had been less of assholish ghouls, i would have done it. But given how horrible they had been, i decided it would have sent the wrong message. So get this: they had demonstrated once again what shits they are by ignoring *both* DH's birthday (he continues to pay for their college, plus CS for the youngest) but also SIL's, whose birthday they had on purpose acknowledged last year to hurt DH even more.

We did not care - a very good time was had by all! They can go drown themselves in their hate.