During the darkest days, it was love for my son and mainly, my understanding of God's will for my marriage. My DH is a wonderful man in many ways, but he just didn't have my back like he should have.

I also happen to love my DH.

The thing that held me in my marriage the most were the vows I made before God. Otherwise, the temptation to leave (i.e. end the stress) may have been too great. It was very difficult in the first years with my MIL triangulating with the women in the family. Prior to disengagement, I thought I was stuck for life with people who resented me. It was pretty overwhelming.

I'm so glad I didn't leave my DH. After disengagement, my marriage got so much better. DH and I have our own little family without interference or judgement. There's a lot to be said for commitment. Now, I can look forward to growing old with my DH because I didn't leave when I felt like it. It was tough, but I'm thankful I'm still here.

I stay because my DH is truly wonderful, and we both have an intuitive Knowing that we were meant for each other. We both say the other is the love of our life. A very helpful factor, though, is that DH has been very proactive about addressing his boundary issues (i.e., the fact that he let the bipolar BM run roughshod over him out of fear for his literal safety). Boundary issues simply do not go by unaddressed in our household, but it still pisses me off when I have to "parent" his kids because they are acting like the spoiled brats their mother raised them to be. BTW, two of my three skids are diagnosed bipolar, and so is the BM.

I guess long story short, I love my wife more than I loathe the stepkids. When the SKIDS aren't living with us, we actually have a great marriage.

I did leave. But that was not because of step related issues. It was because of my DH's issues and his wanting to take them out on me when I was not the cause.

He has since done a lot of the things I begged him for years to do and completely changed around to be the man I always knew he could be.

As far as step-life, he had strong boundaries around us and our relationship and was a relatively strict parent (no Disney Dad/Guilty Daddy crap). He got a no contact order on BM so all we had to put up with was her BS by mail or at court.

I stayed because DH finally made our marriage and life together a priority. And I finally found peace with the stepkids through disengaging somewhat. We still have our struggles sometimes, but that would describe almost any marriage. I love him and he's proven to me that he really does love me too.

I stay because I fought for 20 years to get out of an awful marriage only to find my now DH there to scoop me up and take care of me the way a husband should. His skids are awful, but it's an intermittent exposure to them that allows me to tolerate the few days a month I'm actually uncomfortable. My DH used to allow all kinds of shenanigans with the skids...over the years he's seen me parent my kids with guidance, boundaries, love, rules AND consequences. He sees the difference of how mine are turning out vs. the way his are turning out and he's learning! He knows that as long as his kids treat me with disregard, I will be completely un-involved with them unless completely unavoidable - like weddings etc. But even then, my involvement is minimal. I'm finally getting the hang of the step thing. Marriage is the easy part and I adore my man.

My reason? He won't move out without a match to the death. As they say. . .when seconds count, the police are moments away. We live out in the boonies.

Even his relatives wouldn't put up with him for more than two weeks and CS keeps him from being able to support himself. Haven't heard from his favourite oldest half brother in over a year.

Oh and he has one of those jobs where he is out and about in a company van and can randomly show up at my house at any time unannounced (and does several times during the day) so sneaking out is not an option.

Oh and also he NEVER EVER goes out of town for any period of time without me--the house is in my name btw and I don't want to move out of it.

Change the locks you say? He would kick the door down and burn down the house before the police and fire dept would ever get there. Not to mention the bodily harm inflicted. He has the victim mentality--in his mind he catered to his ex and her mother (he actually did do this to quite an extent) and it got him howhere so he's NOT about to cow-tow to any woman any longer (this includes me). He is simply mysogynistic to the core--the only female he reveres is his dead mother.

ive stayed because i truly love my fiance. ive also stayed because i dont want kids of my own, so im happy to wait until SD13 turns 18 to get married. I also stay because i know financially i can leave at any time - i can support myself on my own, so i figure as long as we dont marry, if SD completely falls apart between now and 18 i can just leave. i also stay because while SD is a pain we dont have her that often and i expect based on past and current behaviors that in the next year or two we wont really see her at all. when she is not around, we have a great relationship and alot of fund.

if at 18 she shows zero sign of independence and on the right path i still might leave unless my fiance shows he's not tolerating her crap.

if i do leave i will never date someone with kids unless they are normal adjusted and productive adults, and the guy is free of alimony/CS requirements.

I was insane and stupid. At the beginning of the marriage I was just too overwhelmed with an abusive, rotten job to totally deal with DH, SD and the true insanity of what was our marriage. Plus, I was terribly fearful of another divorce and second failed marriage. Now I stay in the marriage because DH and I have worked hard to make our relationship a priority - not too bad. Just hope we can continue in this direction.

I stayed because my dh finally saw the light and after we talked to a counselor, he started to realize that two have to become one and work together. it was bad in t
he beginning. Praying and following god's word has also helped. I have a daughter and he has two sons. One stepson has grown up and finally gets it. The other never and we have decided to disengage. Did way too much and got treated way too badly. My bd has treated him good expect for the teenage years when she tried to push us. Trust me it was not easy. His ex was a pain along the way to put it lightly. Not even sure how I survived. I guess because dh is a good man.

I stay because I don't want my kids to go through divorce and I'm not rich enough to buy us two homes. I would gladly remain married but so long as there were two properties to live in. Can't split up the one we have or I'd arrange for two front doors.

Why? Because my bride is an amazing dynamic woman of character and sharing our lives together is the best thing that has ever happened to both of us. My SS-21 is a young man of character and is a viable self supporting adult. DW had SS when she was 16 and never allowed the unfortunate behaviors of her youth to define her life.

His (SS) mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. Since he was so young when we married I am the only full time dad he has ever had. Sure, we battled the toxic Sperm Clan and had to protect our kid from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool but over all we were able to be a close and strong family and ultimately successful in countering the influences and manipulations of the Sperm Idiot and Sperm Clan.

Every blended family story has tension, toxic behaviors, and unfortunate events but not all of them are tragedies.

At least not in our experience.