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I have been pondering something after a recent conversation with my fiancee. My fiance's ex-husband has been coming over to her house Mon-Thurs for awhile now (before I entered the picture) to spend time with his 7yr old daughter. Even though he only lives 10mins away, this was done to help alleviate any stress that the daughter would have over the transition of them being separate. I was told that he comes to help her with her homework but often times this may end up with him having play time with her and recently my fiancee told me how the three of them participated in a balloon fight.

Recently, my fiancee told me that her expectation would be that this practice (of him coming over) would continue and not only continue but since I am bringing a 17month old daughter to the relationship, that this would now probably include interaction with the ex and my daughter as well. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not even sure how I feel about him coming over to the house (not to mention if we end up buying a house together) and especially the expectation that my child would be included in the play time with his daughter. However, I am also torn because I want what's best for the girls and if coming over is helping his daughter, who seems well adjusted, then I would want that to continue but is it wrong to not to want to include my child in that? The girls are already so very close.

Copied from WomansDivorce.com. Read more at: http://www.womansdivorce.com/chat.html#ixzz32MsRaZTj

A well adjusted 7 year old

A well adjusted 7 year old can go with her father to his home for "play time". Not a chance in hell this is going to work out after you marry! What are you suppose to be brother husbands?

I agree with Patsy.

Furthermore, What's the point of being divorced if you're going to enmesh your ex in your life after separation? It's also completely unreasonable for your fiancé to expect you to have your child play with her ex husband. If you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it. She's YOURS. I'd like to see how she would feel if you suggested that since her ex is coming over to have playtime with his daughter that your ex should come over to have play time with yours. Maybe THEN she'd be able to recognize why this is completely dysfunctional. If she objects then point out how monumentally hypocritical it is.

I like this point JYMCat.

I like this point JYMCat. Thanks

Thanks for the feedback.

Thanks for the feedback. Something to think about.

They've been apart for 2

They've been apart for 2 years. Thanks

I can understand wanting to make the transition easier for their daughter but I questioned where my daughter would fit in.

Huh? You copied/pasted a

Huh?

You copied/pasted a question from a website to be answered here?
Copied from WomansDivorce.com. Read more at: http://www.womansdivorce.com/chat.html#ixzz32MsRaZTj

Crew

Where does "crew" come from,

Where does "crew" come from, by the way? I get that it's shorthand for "this poster is fake" but I don't understand the reference?

I don't know if it's to imply

I don't know if it's to imply that my post is fake because it is not. I did however post it in several forums to make sure I got feedback. Copy and paste was much easier then typing the same words all over again.

Thanks for pointing that out

Thanks for pointing that out Tabby. I did copy and paste it from another forum that I posted it on. It's my story but I wanted to get feedback on it. Thanks again.

I don't think this is a

I don't think this is a "real" post, is it? It says "copied from" with a link to another web site.

I think it's the same guy

I think it's the same guy posting on different forums.

Jvalentine, there is such a

Jvalentine, there is such a thing called Co-parenting.

This - what you wrote here - is NOT it.

Thanks for the feedback Drac0

Interesting perspective. I

Interesting perspective. I didn't get that. While some of it was interesting, I got some very good feedback from that forum.

But humorous response if that's what you were going for.

You and others have given me

You and others have given me some things to think about that I will definitely use in determining my position with my FDW. I greatly appreciate it.

How long will this craziness

How long will this craziness be implemented ??? The transition doesn't take 2 years ~ does she feed him dinner too ??

All this is really doing is

All this is really doing is confusing the child and giving the child false hope that the parents will get back together...if only YOU weren't in the picture.

This. It's uncomfortable

This. It's uncomfortable enough having SD5 ask FDH why he doesn't love her mom anymore or why can't he live with her at her mom's house in front of me and my bio's.

I have to say that my ex

I have to say that my ex husband and I have a relationship somewhat similar with our 3 year old son. We have belended birthdays and such but I am NEVER alone with my ex and son. It is always a big group of people or my boyfriend with us. This has helped my child with the transition but you cannot sacifice all of what you deseve because they cannot let go.

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