You are here

getting through graduation season

Tiffanyartist11's picture

Here lately, every weekend is consumed with graduation activities for my SS 18. I am very proud of him, don't get me wrong. He is in the top 5% of his class and is extremely intelligent and will be receiving a full scholarship for the first 2 years of college. I am just so annoyed since his behavior at home has been intolerable. He continues to give everyone the silent treatment since the announcement of our pregnancy a few months ago. Last Sunday we had his Baccalaureate ceremony. He puts on a great act for everyone in public. Just following the event, his mom asked if my husband and I wanted to go to dinner with her and the other SS (16). I obliged because I have always tried to keep open communication with their mom and keep things friendly. It wasn't as awkward as I might have imagined but the little 18 year old jerk didn't even show up. One big happy family out eating together minus the reason we were all out celebrating. Some days I just want to lunge at him.
This friday is the actual graduation ceremony and our weekend with them, which I dread. I usually find other plans and make myself scarce when they are at our house. The following weekend is his graduation party, planned by his mother which will be a drinking fest. I made a commitment to a local charity event for that entire day and my husband was all upset when I told him I wouldn't be there for really any of it. I might stop by on my way home but seriously. I AM NOT A SAINT! I wish he could realize this.

Calypso1977's picture

"It wasn't as awkward as I might have imagined but the little 18 year old jerk didn't even show up."

wow, that is just plain rude and ill mannered. sadly, the boy is 18 - not much that can be done to punish him now, even if anyone wanted to punish him.

Tiffanyartist11's picture

Agree, I hold out hope that he looks back at this time and is ashamed of the way he has been. T

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Sounds like to me these are all events that BM wants for SS. SS isn't even showing up to some of them.

IMO, most birthdays, graduation parties,etc should be done separate with each family. They do not have to be one big party. My suggestion is to go to the graduation, let BM have HER party for SS and then do what you want to separate. Maybe take SS's and a couple friends or family out to dinner or have a Bar b Q on your visitation weekend.

Jsmom's picture

You will be glad when this crap is over. My son graduated with full honors. I didn't go to the Baccalaureate because I really didn't want to and had another commitment. My mom and my sister went because they wanted to. The graduation ceremony is enough and then the party afterwards. Beyond that it is over. All they did was graduate HS, not cure cancer.

Sounds like this is BM that wants all of this. You do not have to go. As for the kid and the attitude, it was awful right up until he left for college. Now he calls everyday and is so grateful for the guidance and help. Even though he has a scholarship, I am still paying expenses and that is costly. He will get better. Just get through the mouthyness and hostility. I think they do this so they feel less guilty about leaving and makes us want them to go.

Tiffanyartist11's picture

I agree, we've had his scholarship awards ceremony a week prior, and the week before that was his sports banquet (which I opted out of going to). It's madness.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I don't even want to think about SD15 graduating! The way she is trying to make BS19's graduation all about her is bad enough!