When my SD8then6 broke both bones in her arm at school, she was given a stuffed animal to take with her in the ambulance ride to the hospital. School officials, then gave SD12then10 (who was sobbing and wailing "I WISH IT WAS ME! I WISH I BROKE MY ARM INSTEAD OF SD8! OH WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO SD8?") gave her a stuffed animal too for SD12 as she rode to the hospital with me. SD12s outcries were embarrassingly self-serving, loud, and disingenuous. I was shocked.

As soon as we got in the car, and while SD12 was smiling and beaming with joy at her new toy, I asked SD12 "Why do you suppose they gave you that stuffed animal?" She replied, "Because my sister got hurt and I was sad!" Flame me if you want, but I took that stuffed animal away and told her I never wanted to see her throw another drama-fest like that again, in a situation where her sister needed to be our priority focus.

Oh, and did I mention my skids always got gifts on each other's birthdays too? Your DH may be encouraging an unhealthy competition for attention if he keeps this up. We don't do dueling bday presents anymore, I believe it's part of the reason we had the drama scene around the broken arm.

no way.
i never understood people who do this either. its all part of the "everyone gets a trophy" movement of today.

I think it's ridiculous and had never heard of this happening until I joined Steptalk. Must be one of those "poor children of divorce" things.

I grew up knowing that when it was my birthday, it was my birthday; when it wasn't, it wasn't and that included when it was somebody else's birthday.

Birthday presents for non-birthday kids??? No way!

"big-brother/big-sister" presents when the baby is born... I think could be good in moderation.

You should get your step kids presents for father's day so they don't feel left out.

I totally don't get that "buy EVERYBODY a present because one kid had a birthday" thing. It just blows my mind.

DH and I have five kids between us, and thankfully we agree that only the one kid having a birthday gets a present. And thankfully, that's the ONE thing my skids haven't thought of yet to bitch about! (I hope they never do!)

My man grew up like this, so he does it with his kids. It's quite annoying and I had never heard of anyone else doing it until this thread. Since siblings always have to share, doesn't it make sense for them to have ONE special day?

My grandparents did that when we were little... but the non-birthday kid's gift was always quite small. I remember 'expecting' a gift when my grandparent's came over. If my parents were smart, that's about when they put a stop to it Either way, it did stop. Turns out we were able to cope with the tragic event of not getting a gift on someone else's big day lol!

I think this is weird & we won't be doing it. I think it's important for the kid to have a special day all about them once a year. The other kids get to go to the party & have cake & everything. But no gifts.

If we do 'goody bags' (which are ususally just bags w/ candy in them & a thank you for coming note) the other kids can have one of those.

I wonder if the lady with the two broken arms kid considered breaking the second kids arms?

Entitlement at its finest. When you think about it, EVERY day is SOMEBODY's birthday. Maybe we need to just wrap up 365 presents every year and give the little snowflakes one every day.

I never would have even THOUGHT to get presents myself on another kid's birthday. Geez.

And I never heard of kids getting presents for Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, St. Patrick's Day etc. until I came on here. Craziness!

No way should the other kids get presents on their sibling's birthday. That is ridiculous! What is he trying to teach them? It teaches greediness and entitlement because he feels guilty. Guilt makes a poor parent. Why doesn't he try teaching them to think about others and to be generous? That is a netter lesson.

My kids are 15 months apart. When they were really little I would get them a small token gift on the other's birthday.

My family complained about it.

I told them when they are older I will stop.

They asked, "well how can you do that when you've done it all this time?"

uhmm. Because I am the mama?

At about age 6, it stopped.

Was there whining? Nope.
Complaints? Nope.
An "expectation"? Nope.

I am the mama. When I say 'that's it' then that's what it is. I have never tolerated temper tantrums from my kids...ever.

Does he do the stupid HALF birthdays too??

All of it feeding into the entitlement generation.

We do this for the very young kids (4 & under)... They typically get something from the $1 store and that's it.

This makes me so freaking angry. DH doesnt do this, but MIL does. Only with CrazyPants though. As if she doesnt spend hundreds of dollars on JUST HIM anyway.

Our boys birthdays are five days apart. We have started doing togetner parties because two parties in a week is way to much. Last year she gave CrazyPants $100 for his birthday on his birthday, made special trip to our house and everything. Did she get my boy anything so he wasnt left out? Nope. At their party she shows up with two identical presents for the boys, which doesnt even make sense because they are six years apart. Did my boy get a special something on his actual birthday? Nope.

Or how about at Christmas when she bought CrazyPants a brand new xbox, the one that just came out, plus everything else that also matched what my boy got from her. A BRAND NEW FLIPPING XBOX!! And she hid it from me because she knew I was going to FLIP when I found out.

Pisses me off so much. CrazyPants gets EVERYTHING he wants from her. Literally, and she completely ignores my bio (who is not her "real" grandchild, and my other bio, who is HER REAL GRANDCHILD! I get so freaking angry. Actually now Im pissed off all over again thinking about Christmas.

Fucking Blended Families. Its crap!

Meh, my parents did this when my brother and I were young. I did the same with mine. As they got older, it stopped. It really wasn't a huge deal, nor did it make anyone feel entitled. Birthday kid got what they got, sibling got a little something to open. Big deal.

Kids really need to learn the world does not revolve around them. My defining memory of my birthdays is my younger sister pouting EVERY single time. But my parents never pandered to her, they would send her to her room and tell her she would miss out on the party too by being a brat. One year, I am thinking I was around 7, my sister (2 years younger) threw all my presents in the fire (I have a Jan birthday). I was devastated. My parents were furious. My sister's birthda was February, so instead of getting presents, her birthday presents were replacements for mine, for me. My sister is now the least selfish person (you would not believe these stories if you knew her, even though she would admit it) - just imagine how she would have ended up if they had pandered to her??!

If this is a family tradition that has worked for the people involved, why should the tradition change when new people and e added to the family?

Several posters have said they grew up with this tradition or did it with their kids. None of the people involved grew into entitled brats.

While this isn't something I would ever do, it don't see it as a right or wrong thing. It's just another parenting choice like breast feeding/bottle feeding, public school/private school....

I'm an identical twin so.....

Nope, I still think that's a damn stupid idea.

MY FDH brought this up one time, right after we first got together. I was FLOORED. Then, as I have been to more birthday parties with some of his friends, I realized I was maybe in the minority in thinking this was the stupidest idea I had ever heard.

I told him at the time I didn't think it was a good idea to take attention away from the birthday child. And that was it. We have never done it and he agrees now that it is stupid. Of course, my fiancé is a wonderful man who tries to do the right thing, even when it's hard.