Feeling very slighted about not being asked to Step Daughters Graduation. I cant imagine how no one understands how I feel. Am I being un reasonable feeling so sad
SS20 invited me to his commencement ceremoony when he received his Associate's Degree. I politely backed out once his BM and half-sisters threatened to not show up if I was going to be there. DF said that it was wrong of me to let their pettiness dictate whether I went or not. I look at it like, those people never do anything for SS and it would hurt him a lot more if they didn't go.
However, I do know what it's like to not even be considered for an invitation to school functions, extra curricular activities, graduations. You are not being unreasonable and I understand that you are hurt. But it will be a lot easier for you once you realize that it's expected. It's, sadly, very rare that you won't be excluded.
I wasn't invited to SO's daughter's graduation 2 years ago either. BM, her boyfriend, his 2 kids, SO's other daughter and him. So BM's boyfriend's kids came before me. We have been together for 10 years, but no there were not enough tickets! I also was un-invited to help her move into dorm first year of college. We drove 5 hours to another town and the night before the move in, daughter called SO and told him that she wanted it to be just him and her mom. Okay, well it was SO, BM and her boyfriend. I don't know why BM and SO enable this kid. If it were my kid, I would have told her 'this is rude to leave out your Dad's GF'. So next weekend she will be moving out of her apartment for the summer (she has been in college 2 years now) and BM asked SO and I if we could go up and help her and her boyfriend move SD out of her apt. I said I'm not going, I wasn't good enough to help her move in 2 years ago, I'm certainly not going to help her move out. So we are staying with relatives 1.5 hours away and SO will drive up for day and help them move her, then come back to where I am. And then we are going to stay 2 nights in hotel along beach and have a little R&R. I am absolutely sure the BM had total control of the tickets and didn't want me there, as far as the moving into the dorm...not sure on that one, whether BM instigated it or the kid.
No, not unreasonable! Especially if you've had a good relationship. In my own case, I haven't gone to my older 2 SD's graduations (the youngest is still in HS) because they go to a HUGE school and each kid only gets 2 tickets. I made it clear to the girls that those tickets were for BM an BD - and that SF and I should sit it out. (I could only imagine if BM demanded SF go instead of DH!) I didn't mind not going, but I could totally understand if there were enough tickets and you just didn't get the invite, that would be very hurtful. Your DH should absolutely stand up for you in that case.
I've been there and it's hurtful to be deliberately tossed aside. But then again, I can't stand my skids and I wouldn't WANT to go anyway. SO, they actually did me a favor. Nonetheless, it would've been nice to have been given the option if I wanted to go or not; to be included.
I'm learning (slowly) that I am not an important person to my skids and so I shouldn't expect anything from them. In return, they should learn to expect absolutely nothing from me either. No cards, gifts, money etc. Maybe they'll catch on, maybe they won't. Either way, disengaging from my skids has been the BEST gift I have ever given myself.
Absolutely - it goes both ways. They will get it or they won't. Good for your DH you says you must be included, too. It shows them you are a team and it shows him how little they think of him.
I don't know why it has to be so hard, why do THEY have to make things so complicated? Grow up people and get over yourselves. Ugh
feeling so sad
SS20 invited me to his
SS20 invited me to his commencement ceremoony when he received his Associate's Degree. I politely backed out once his BM and half-sisters threatened to not show up if I was going to be there. DF said that it was wrong of me to let their pettiness dictate whether I went or not. I look at it like, those people never do anything for SS and it would hurt him a lot more if they didn't go.
However, I do know what it's like to not even be considered for an invitation to school functions, extra curricular activities, graduations. You are not being unreasonable and I understand that you are hurt. But it will be a lot easier for you once you realize that it's expected. It's, sadly, very rare that you won't be excluded.
I was never invited to any of
I was never invited to any of DH's kids graduations - only DH and his wallet received the written and verbal invites.
No you're not being
No you're not being unreasonable at all. That is rude! So tough. I hate being a step mom.
No you're not being
No you're not being unreasonable at all. That is rude! So tough. I hate being a step mom.
I wasn't invited to SO's
I wasn't invited to SO's daughter's graduation 2 years ago either. BM, her boyfriend, his 2 kids, SO's other daughter and him. So BM's boyfriend's kids came before me. We have been together for 10 years, but no there were not enough tickets! I also was un-invited to help her move into dorm first year of college. We drove 5 hours to another town and the night before the move in, daughter called SO and told him that she wanted it to be just him and her mom. Okay, well it was SO, BM and her boyfriend. I don't know why BM and SO enable this kid. If it were my kid, I would have told her 'this is rude to leave out your Dad's GF'. So next weekend she will be moving out of her apartment for the summer (she has been in college 2 years now) and BM asked SO and I if we could go up and help her and her boyfriend move SD out of her apt. I said I'm not going, I wasn't good enough to help her move in 2 years ago, I'm certainly not going to help her move out. So we are staying with relatives 1.5 hours away and SO will drive up for day and help them move her, then come back to where I am. And then we are going to stay 2 nights in hotel along beach and have a little R&R. I am absolutely sure the BM had total control of the tickets and didn't want me there, as far as the moving into the dorm...not sure on that one, whether BM instigated it or the kid.
No, not unreasonable!
No, not unreasonable! Especially if you've had a good relationship. In my own case, I haven't gone to my older 2 SD's graduations (the youngest is still in HS) because they go to a HUGE school and each kid only gets 2 tickets. I made it clear to the girls that those tickets were for BM an BD - and that SF and I should sit it out. (I could only imagine if BM demanded SF go instead of DH!) I didn't mind not going, but I could totally understand if there were enough tickets and you just didn't get the invite, that would be very hurtful. Your DH should absolutely stand up for you in that case.
I've been there and it's
I've been there and it's hurtful to be deliberately tossed aside. But then again, I can't stand my skids and I wouldn't WANT to go anyway. SO, they actually did me a favor. Nonetheless, it would've been nice to have been given the option if I wanted to go or not; to be included.
I'm learning (slowly) that I am not an important person to my skids and so I shouldn't expect anything from them. In return, they should learn to expect absolutely nothing from me either. No cards, gifts, money etc. Maybe they'll catch on, maybe they won't. Either way, disengaging from my skids has been the BEST gift I have ever given myself.
DOn't let it get you down.
Absolutely - it goes both
Absolutely - it goes both ways. They will get it or they won't. Good for your DH you says you must be included, too. It shows them you are a team and it shows him how little they think of him.
I don't know why it has to be so hard, why do THEY have to make things so complicated? Grow up people and get over yourselves. Ugh