My MIL was awful in the begining well hell lets be honest the first 12 years of our relationship. DH stuck to putting her in her place and it has finally gotten better. My DH was the only man in her life when FIL left her.
Oh I had no clue when I got involved MIL was remarried. I had no idea my DH and her lived alone for over 8 years. I can understand it's hard to let go. What I don't understand is why any woman would rather be with her son than her husband. My StepFIL is awesome!
Mine gossip and try to meddle somewhat. They try and tell me how I need to see how screwed up the BM has made the Skids' lives. My DH learned how to enable from his parents! My in-laws take care of me SILs' children (all of my sister in- laws) they financially support 2 of the SILs and know that 2 of their sons are alcoholics and have went as far as covering for 1 of them after getting into an accident while driving drunk (quickly repaired the truck as it went through a fence) My MIL goes as far as doing the kids' homework. (which i do NOT allow her to do my Bio kids homework for them)
I think that my In-Laws do this to keep the illusion of the perfect family. My DH always says how close his family is (well yeah, they still all live off of mommy) Its crazy!
Oh the best part is that MIL is now unemployed and FIL gets disability and they don't have the money anymore to dole out to the leaches. Now they are contacting my DH for money. UGH!!!! So now I have to really scrutinize over money because my DH looks at it as "helping out". Um, no! Its called ENABLEING!!!!!!
I am. I was raised very differently. I knew if I wanted something I had to work/earn for it. These people run to their mommy for what they want/need.
For example: SIL#2 has a job. She makes good money. She also rakes in CS for her 3 kids from 3 different guys. She had my FIL get new tires put on her car ($700) so she could go to the coast since she didn't have the money.
WHAT!?!?!? oh yeah. no joke. These people who have basically no income paid for tires when this women has been bragging about how much money she is making.
I will not allow my DH to run to his mother and thankfully has never done so. But he definitely learned the enabling behavior from his mommy.
And I sure as hell will not allow my children to be raised to think enabling is ok.
If you don't discuss your problems with your in laws or your siblings and keep them to yourself then they know nothing is going on in your marriage. My hubby had to learn this the hard way. He would run and tell every fuss we had to his kids, sisters, brothers, and then we be ok and they were not! I finally told him if you want to bitch about me to someone, tell your friend, I don't care if your friend likes me, but your family will hold grudges until the end of time, we get over it, but the won't. If you are smart and want your marriage to make it (especially 2nd marriage with step kids) do NOT discuss your problems/fights with your family they take sides and hold grudges.
I have always felt this way. This is the same reason why I don't go to my parents telling them about my spats with DH. Im not sure how much my DH did this. I do feel he used the line, "I'll have to ask Patsy." too many times. This is a huge sore spot with my FIL. He would always say why do you need her permission. When the truth of it was that FIL would ask my husand to go somewhere with him and DH didn't want to go so I think I was the excuse used a lot of times. My FIL is a drunk and there are not many pleasant times with him.
do NOT discuss your problems/fights with your family
This is exactly what my husband's mother told HIM when he wanted to bitch to her about his first wife. God, I wish that woman had not died before I met him.
MIL recently chose to become BFFs with BM in order to stay in contact with her nonGS, Faux, who doesn't even show any interest in having a relationship with her. Mail often let's things "slip" to people that they need not know. Needless to say, DH is speaking to her on a superficial basis at this point. Don't want to tell her something personal that will get to It's ears!
My MIL died way before my husband and I got together but from what I hear, she was not the meddling type. My FIL (now deceased) did not interfere with us at all but he and DH were not close. DH's sisters and niece, on the other hand... Well, let's just my husband uses the phrase, "I like to love them from afar."
My MIL is a 2 faced, rotten, backstabbing liar. It's taken a while but my SO has started to see her for exactly what she is.
She has dependency issues with SS7 and because of her intensity with him, I am everything evil, our DD1 doesn't get time, effort or anything else and she is currently sailing her own son down the river for his son. Treats BM like she's everything wonderful when she knows she's a neglectful, lazy POS.
I'd take my ex MIL over her and she was a cantankerous miserable old bag, but at least it was done to my face rather than being 2 faced...
Mine don't meddle much (thank
Mine don't meddle much (thank goodness!) they just gossip. We don't see them all that often though....
That's good. I live a mere
That's good. I live a mere two blocks from all of them.
My MIL was awful in the
My MIL was awful in the begining well hell lets be honest the first 12 years of our relationship. DH stuck to putting her in her place and it has finally gotten better. My DH was the only man in her life when FIL left her.
Oh I had no clue when I got
Oh I had no clue when I got involved MIL was remarried. I had no idea my DH and her lived alone for over 8 years. I can understand it's hard to let go. What I don't understand is why any woman would rather be with her son than her husband. My StepFIL is awesome!
Mine gossip and try to meddle
Mine gossip and try to meddle somewhat. They try and tell me how I need to see how screwed up the BM has made the Skids' lives. My DH learned how to enable from his parents! My in-laws take care of me SILs' children (all of my sister in- laws) they financially support 2 of the SILs and know that 2 of their sons are alcoholics and have went as far as covering for 1 of them after getting into an accident while driving drunk (quickly repaired the truck as it went through a fence) My MIL goes as far as doing the kids' homework. (which i do NOT allow her to do my Bio kids homework for them)
I think that my In-Laws do this to keep the illusion of the perfect family. My DH always says how close his family is (well yeah, they still all live off of mommy) Its crazy!
Norman Bates close....
Norman Bates close.... :sick:
Oh the best part is that MIL
Oh the best part is that MIL is now unemployed and FIL gets disability and they don't have the money anymore to dole out to the leaches. Now they are contacting my DH for money. UGH!!!! So now I have to really scrutinize over money because my DH looks at it as "helping out". Um, no! Its called ENABLEING!!!!!!
Oh boy I would be besides
Oh boy I would be besides myself in your situation. YUCK!!!
I am. I was raised very
I am. I was raised very differently. I knew if I wanted something I had to work/earn for it. These people run to their mommy for what they want/need.
For example: SIL#2 has a job. She makes good money. She also rakes in CS for her 3 kids from 3 different guys. She had my FIL get new tires put on her car ($700) so she could go to the coast since she didn't have the money.
WHAT!?!?!? oh yeah. no joke. These people who have basically no income paid for tires when this women has been bragging about how much money she is making.
I will not allow my DH to run to his mother and thankfully has never done so. But he definitely learned the enabling behavior from his mommy.
And I sure as hell will not allow my children to be raised to think enabling is ok.
Stick to it Rainbow!
Stick to it Rainbow!
If you don't discuss your
If you don't discuss your problems with your in laws or your siblings and keep them to yourself then they know nothing is going on in your marriage. My hubby had to learn this the hard way. He would run and tell every fuss we had to his kids, sisters, brothers, and then we be ok and they were not! I finally told him if you want to bitch about me to someone, tell your friend, I don't care if your friend likes me, but your family will hold grudges until the end of time, we get over it, but the won't. If you are smart and want your marriage to make it (especially 2nd marriage with step kids) do NOT discuss your problems/fights with your family they take sides and hold grudges.
I have always felt this way.
I have always felt this way. This is the same reason why I don't go to my parents telling them about my spats with DH. Im not sure how much my DH did this. I do feel he used the line, "I'll have to ask Patsy." too many times. This is a huge sore spot with my FIL. He would always say why do you need her permission. When the truth of it was that FIL would ask my husand to go somewhere with him and DH didn't want to go so I think I was the excuse used a lot of times. My FIL is a drunk and there are not many pleasant times with him.
do NOT discuss your
do NOT discuss your problems/fights with your family
This is exactly what my husband's mother told HIM when he wanted to bitch to her about his first wife. God, I wish that woman had not died before I met him.
Now that is a good woman!
Now that is a good woman!
Thank goodness you found this
Thank goodness you found this out before you had kids together. I'm hoping at least.
Oh Foxie
Oh Foxie }:)
MIL recently chose to become
MIL recently chose to become BFFs with BM in order to stay in contact with her nonGS, Faux, who doesn't even show any interest in having a relationship with her. Mail often let's things "slip" to people that they need not know. Needless to say, DH is speaking to her on a superficial basis at this point. Don't want to tell her something personal that will get to It's ears!
I would take my MIL over
I would take my MIL over yours any day! DOUBLE YUCK!! :sick:
My MIL died way before my
My MIL died way before my husband and I got together but from what I hear, she was not the meddling type. My FIL (now deceased) did not interfere with us at all but he and DH were not close. DH's sisters and niece, on the other hand... Well, let's just my husband uses the phrase, "I like to love them from afar."
nice ^^^ lol wish my DH
nice ^^^ lol
wish my DH was like that!!
My MIL is a 2 faced, rotten,
My MIL is a 2 faced, rotten, backstabbing liar. It's taken a while but my SO has started to see her for exactly what she is.
She has dependency issues with SS7 and because of her intensity with him, I am everything evil, our DD1 doesn't get time, effort or anything else and she is currently sailing her own son down the river for his son. Treats BM like she's everything wonderful when she knows she's a neglectful, lazy POS.
I'd take my ex MIL over her and she was a cantankerous miserable old bag, but at least it was done to my face rather than being 2 faced...
Add "boredom" to your list.
Add "boredom" to your list.