BM lied to SD now SD mad at DH...
BM called DH on Wednesday asking if she could get skids from school. DH said "sure, once school day is over, pickup as car riders." BM in turn calls me and says "Hey, just talked to DH, he said I can check skids out after 12pm bc they'll be counted present after that, I have to get them early bc my license are still suspended & I don't have a car, my sister is going to drive me down to get them, but has to be back togo to work at 2pm. Can you text me the addresses to the schools?" I say "Sure". Well, I knew DH has said for years, BM is not to check skids out of school (skids missed 50-100 days of school in the first two years after their divorce...part of why he was awarded custody). I text DH to verify BM was approved to check skids out, DH's response "I told her after school is released, I will text her to make it clear she is not checking them out".
Skids get home from school, and SD is crying. I asked "SD12, what's wrong?" SD12 responds "Daddy is being mean". Me internally "huh"...to SD12 "Why do you say that?" SD12 says "Because, he told BM she could come check me & SS11 out Friday to go with her, because she can't drive cause she don't have a license and she can only get us if she checks us out, then he called her back to tell her NO". *I called DH and put him on the phone with SD12 to give his side, he did, SD12 hangs up and says "I'm still mad at DH". I say nothing.
On top of the lie to me, the lie to SD12 (which is normal for BM...hibitual liar) I also found out CS has reinstated her license, and she can drive. SD12 isn't mad at me, but it infuriates me that BM caused SD12 to be mad at DH, when the truth is, she is just being lazy!
How did you find out her
How did you find out her license was reinstated? This is something where I would follow the Rags' philosophy: Facts are neither good nor bad, they are just facts. I would show SD12 that BM got her license back.
Refute the lies when you can because otherwise the PAS will take hold. I talk from experience. We thought "taking the high road" meant just letting them believe what they wanted to.
I have to agree, at some
I have to agree, at some point it's time to start showing the skids that BM or BD is not holier than though and without you bad-mouthing them let them form a true opinion of that person.
We've done this in the past,
We've done this in the past, only with SD12 because of her maturity level...SS11 could be slapped in the face with 1,000 facts and would still believe BM is "the fairest of them all" we gave up on that with him.
I guess I could print off the page from CSS portal for SD12 to see, I just hate BM for trying to drive that wedge between SD12 and DH. I was waiting on the excuse not to get them this weekend (after we would not take them to her or her mom)...she knew DH would let her check them out, so she used that then turned it around on DH to make SD12 mad at him. I know SD12 will get over it, she loves her daddy...and not in an annoying have to stay up his ass kinda way. Just wish BM would OD on her perscription pills and stop having a negative affect on these kids! It's an emotional rollercoster for them. There is never a consistent EOW schedule, she always makes promises to them she doesn't keep, she always makes excuses why she can't pick them up or sometimes even tries to say she can't bring them home, someone is always sick or dying or no gas money/license/vehicle...you name it she's tried to use it as an excuse. DH has had to threaten to call police if she doesn't get them home after a visitation. AND OF COURSE, skids come home crying and upset because BM tells them if she goes to jail it's because DH called the police on her. So tired of trying to fix her F'ck ups!
MisStep, CS portal shows they
MisStep, CS portal shows they sent the DMV the release on 4/09/2014 (after tax return was intercepted for payment).
I'm still trying to learn all the acronyms: PAS?
Parent alienation syndrome
Parent alienation syndrome
Yes, and your DH should start
Yes, and your DH should start researching this. The tides are slowly starting to turn where the courts are starting to recognize the manipulations.
Ya know, it's crap like this
Ya know, it's crap like this that causes problems for the father/child relationships.
My husband and his daughter were very close (he was the main nurturer, not BM) but after the split/divorce (SD was 5), BM did everything she could to destroy their relationship, lying and making DH the bad guy being at the top of the list.
SD is 22 now and although she mostly knows the truth, their relationship has never fully recovered and SD's life is not what it could be because of it.
My husband and his daughter
My husband and his daughter were very close (he was the main nurturer, not BM) but after the split/divorce (SD was 5), BM did everything she could to destroy their relationship, lying and making DH the bad guy being at the top of the list.
SD is 22 now and although she mostly knows the truth, their relationship has never fully recovered and SD's life is not what it could be because of it.
Same with my DH and SD. Yet for whatever reason, BM wasn't as bad with SS. SS and DH still have a relationship. My SD rarely ever comes over and she has my DH's two grandkids.
It's so frustrating, SD12 had
It's so frustrating, SD12 had a rough life before DH got custody...though she didn't realize it, hell she thought everything that was going on was "normal". It took her about a year and a half to settle in our home and start to open up to DH and myself. Even though BM is toxic we do not try to make her dislike/hate BM.
Evil bitches! Keep telling myself Karma will catch up to them, but sometimes I wish my name was "Karma"!!!
BM OD'd 2wks before DH was
BM OD'd 2wks before DH was awarded custody in 2009, again in 2012, again in 2013...she failed a surprise in home drug test, administered by her in-laws that she was living with, 2wks ago.
I have never heard of PAS...I have homework for the weekend
Thank you all, this site has been SOOOOO MUCH help in the short time I've been on here!