How to best document things with SD
I have noticed that every other week when SD7 is dropped at our house for our week she is "sick". I say "sick" because we all know it is her allergies. I may not be a nurse/doctor but for a child to have a cold every other week...to me that just doesn't seem right. Anyway. SD7 has allergies. She has gone through allergy testing. She is allergic to her dogs. BM keeps the dogs and allows the dogs to sleep with SD.
BM doesn't clean her house either. So after a week SD is a mess. She can't breathe, can't sleep, just not herself. She gets to our house and that first night is terrible. However, the next day she is able to breathe and is still a bit stuffy but by Tuesday she is back to herself again. I can put this on paper all I want but I would love to record her coming home all "sick" and the next day so much better.
The last thing I need is for SD7 to tell BM that I am recording her. Any ideas? Is writing it down enough?
I appreciate any advice.
Why document? If it is
Why document? If it is already proven that she is allergic to dogs, why collect more data?
ETA: One of my friends is a divorced father of two young kids who are allergic to cats. BM has TWO cats. So what my friend does is when he picks them up, he drives straight into the garage. He tells the kids to strip down and place their clothes in a garbage bag while he goes inside and starts a bath for them right away. Kids then go straight into the bathtub and he gives them a really good wash. He then washes the clothes making sure it is kept seperate from his regular laundry.
It seems that if there is
It seems that if there is documented evidence that the kid is allergic to dogs, and BM has dogs, there's not much more "documentation" you would need.
Short of taking the skid to the dr every time she shows up with allergy symptoms .. not sure what else you would be logging?
DH should let BM know he
DH should let BM know he wants SD to see the doc because she is having too many colds. If the doc says it is because of the dogs then he (the doc) can advise if he feels allergy shots will help or if it is necessary to remove the dogs from the home.
I don't understand your
I don't understand your correlation between allergies and breastfeeding? If the doc tested her and confirmed she's allergic to dogs, what's left to question about that?
BM did not breast feed and
BM did not breast feed and she got the dogs about 2 years ago. It has been a battle ever since. The doctor wont say remove pets from home. BUT keep home allergen free and do not allow SD to sleep with the dogs.
The doc must not be too
The doc must not be too concerned if he hasn't started your SD on allergy shots or advised to remove the dogs. Don't get hung up on this. What allergy medicine is she on?
She takes 2 meds. No shots.
She takes 2 meds. No shots. DH is going to try and get BM to agree to have SD see a pediatric allergist. BM is a nurse. You know, one that went to school because DH paid spousal support for the 2 years and now she refuses to get a job but knows EVERYTHING. She just lives off the state. We want to do something about this. However the courts here are not dad friendly. I am shocked at the things BM has gotten away with. That is why I want to know if writing it down is enough or should I record. Can we use that? Taking her to the doctor every other week means we need BMs approval. She already refuses to pay for therapy. Don't get me started on that.
Does she need to approve all
Does she need to approve all doctor visits? Or just scheduled ones? Could you take her to an urgent care center?
DH's custody agreement requires mutual consent for all non-emergency medical treatment, but urgent care or emergencies only require notification after-the-fact.
Yeah getting the approval
Yeah getting the approval sucks. DH had to do that unless it was an emergency, however he was always entitled to Sd's medical records. Get those first thing. You will need them if you ever do need to bring this up in a courtroom. Easier to do now rather than later when BM gets word you might take her to court. Does the BM send the medication with your SD?
She can't be sleeping with
She can't be sleeping with the dogs if she is allergic to them. BM sounds like a moron. Growing up, we had a cat and my brother and I were both allergic (didn't know it at the time we got the cat & then didn't want to give it up when we found out). We kept the cat in another part of the house- we still were able to play with it, but could not sleep with it and it wasn't allowed in our bedrooms. My brother got allergy shots. I wasn't as bad so I didn't need the shots. We were fine. As long as you aren't constantly breathing in the dander, it really shouldn't be a problem. But the dogs can't be in the bed with her, that's for sure.
To your question, I agree with the others. It's already documented SD is allergic to dogs and BM has dogs. BM just needs to stop being a freakin idiot & keep the dog out of SD's room.
Alternatively, at 7yo, SD
Alternatively, at 7yo, SD should be able to comprehend she should not be sleeping with the dog if she's allergic. Maybe talk to her about taking some responsibility in keeping the dog out of her room (since her BM clearly won't).
BM has her convinced we want
BM has her convinced we want her to get rid of her dogs. She loves them and that's fine. However, keep your house clean and put the dogs outside or in the garage and do not allow the dogs to sleep with SD. BM is a nut job with major GU. Its like fighting city hall for everything.
DH has to get approval BEFORE any medical appointment or if it is an emergency they call each other on the way.
Have you thought of
Have you thought of like...maybe a claratin regimine? I'm mildly allergic to cat dander, but I still have two of them. I take my claratin daily and don't have any problems.
Oh My!! We have this same
Oh My!! We have this same issue. SD5 ALWAYS has a runny nose, cough, sneezing, etc.... "SD is sick again... Poor girl" (barf) DF kept saying. Finally after a year of hearing this I broke! SD is not f***ing sick. She has g**d*mned allergies. I'm giving her some Allegra and she will be fine. A couple hours later hmmmmm waddya know. No more symptoms. DF finally admitted I was right.
BM is too dumb to figure any of his out. Of course when DF relays the info to BM that we know that allergies are the issue it doesn't go over. Because it came from me lol!!! Gawd get over your jealousy issue and do what's right for the kid dumb*ss!!! She's always taking her to the doctor for every thing. Shoot me now! Keep bringing the random filthy animals into your house there Smarts!! Keep wondering why SD is always "sick"...
Uggggg.