WTF...Just don't know what to think
SD14 is a very odd person...very immature for her age. She is awkward and skinny. Dresses way too young for 14 and things don't match or are "clownish" She is very average in school. She is very spoiled to say the least and very manipulative beyond what I could ever imagine a child could be at that age. It is hard to distinguish odd behavior from plain old manipulation really. One minute this kid is asking for help serving herself dinner to going out breaking old boards off the porch her father is rebuilding to the point of it being an obsession???? Aspergers has come to mind, bipolar, narcistic PD...her actions show signs of them all but you must wonder is there truly something wrong with this kid or is she just a weird, manipulative brat.
I feel so bad for you I
I feel so bad for you
I hope you get through this unharmed, having someone like that in your life must be so scary. ((HUGS))
Do we have the same SD with
Do we have the same SD with the exception of "barely passing school?" SD15 has been failing every subject consistently for over 9 years now--gets "special ed" (smokescreen for crappy parenting) reads at a 3rd grade level and supposedly has an attention span of only 10 min. in school (yet can do twerking vids on FB for hours on end.)
He doesn't know--he's been
He doesn't know--he's been estranged from all 3 for over 4 years now; she actually stood him up three times at counseling when he attempted to reunite back in Spring '12.
I say NOTHING to him because he's fond of shooting the messenger. When they were coming to my house, he was a total ass-kissing ostrich who has NO problem telling me to F myself but would NEVER stand up to the BM or skids.
Labels are attached easily
Labels are attached easily today and most of them end up being wrong. One thing I observed looking back on adolescence was that the good looking popular girls in high school ended up horrible while the ugly ducklings turned out pretty good.
Ehhh in the end if Daddy isn't worried I'd just leave it alone. The changes between 13 and 18 are remarkable to say the least.
I agree. Too many labels for
I agree. Too many labels for that age.
Spa day sounds perfect for a young girl, who is at an age where she could struggle with image. And taking her somewhere to make her feel good about herself seems best!
LOL...No I think I'll pass on
LOL...No I think I'll pass on the mani-pedi and shopping. I truly wish I could do things with her like that but she is not interested. Shopping with her is a total nightmare...she is only about 80 lbs so at 14 she still wears about a girl size 8 or so so it is a very difficult to make her happy. Shopping trips turn into complete meltdowns. She only is interested in fake nails that cost $30 only to be bitten off in a couple hours. I'm done with any of that. Sorry if I sound like a bitch but I have tried for so many times to make this kid happy and I've only been shot down everytime. Nothing I have ever done for her is ever acknowledged or appreciated.
I asked these same questions
I asked these same questions to a counselor once. Although, i didnt know my SD before 18. She was the opposite, in that we was a large girl with a tomboy attitude. She would bounce back and force from acting childish to pseudo spouse. She also cried the day she turned 21.
It was really odd. Pseudo spouse to child all day long, everyday.
I dont know how your DH involvement plays a part in any of her behavior patterns, but it was said by the councelor, that it was an emmeshment issue, between the father and her, that started early on, and she couldn't let go and grow up, once her father noticed his actions.
I remember trying, like you to take her shopping, and Spa days etc. She wanted nothing to do with it. But, I just thought it was because she was a tomboy.
Up until just a few months
Up until just a few months ago, she insisted on holding her fathers hand and sitting on his lap constantly. She also insisted on sleeping in the same bed as us (which I did not allow) for several years up until she was about 11-12. The inappropriate physical relationship has gotten much better but she still wants to ride in the grocery cart and play with grossly inappropriately young toys. She has never been ugly to me just acts as if I don't exist.
Oh yes...SD14 has called her
Oh yes...SD14 has called her father a liar, accused him of doing drugs, called him stupid..ect. Also she is expected to do nothing. She can't even clean up after herself at dinner but yet she goes outside to break rotten boards of the old porch (mind you this is her idea)...there is no sanity in any of it.
SD14 rarely sees her BM. No regular visitation...maybe a couple hours here and there. BM doesn't seem to care so I guess that is their business not mine. BM doesn't have much money so SD14's usefulness of her is pretty limited. Sad but true.