yeah, I flipped my shit one time over something BM did....went bat shit crazy on DH....she sent him a pic, back at the beginning on the school year, of Princess Boy sleeping....yep....PB sleeping...I was like WTF?????????.....they are not a "family" any more....it was like she was screaming " hey DH look at our precious dumpling we made...see what you are missing"..........not my proudest moment, but I flipped crazy.....

Hmmm you have every right to be pissed off. I can't recall flipping out over BM, I did tell my DH the other day thats its pretty annoying that BM has to interject herself into my in laws lives even though they haven't been together in 20 years. I know if I was taking pictures Id want photos with my parents in it. I never saw BM as anything to worry about until recently, now it seems she has to try and act like she is part of the family still.

I have flipped out on DH SEVERAL times regarding SD who is annoyingly toxic.

i flip shit too much these days.

the latest is that fiance and BM see no reason to punish SD in any way shape or form for her antics this past weekend that yet again tied up teh valuable time of law enforcement and caused BM to be one step closer to getting fired. the worst is that they told her she was in big time trouble and was "gonna get it" and then never did.

idle threats irritate me way more than lack of discipline entirely.

Oh yeah... Fathers Day 2012.

DH and I were engaged in March. He moved in with me shortly afterwards as his lease was up and we were going to buy a house. We bought the house in June but since the lease wasn't up at my apartment yet we were still living in the apartment and doing little things to the house and moving boxes in here and there.

I decided okay we are going to be a big happy family :sick: let me plan something for DH for Fathers Day with all the kids (his 4 and my bio) and have it at the house where there will be more room. Prior years skids did NOTHING for DH for Father's Day so I was trying to make it special for him.

I invite skids. Tell them I am prepping food at apartment and then will be at house. Please be at house at 1pm. No sooner. 1 pm. I tell DH- 1pm- no sooner. I want to do something special. Really I wanted to set up and not have the skids breathing down my throat.

OSD kept asking if she could bring her potato salad as if she was Paula Deen or something. For a whole week prior kept texting me about this damn potato salad. Okay bring it.

Oh and I also made it VERY clear that I was prepping food at apartment because the gas wasn't on at the house yet. We wanted to turn it on when we were going to be there longer then a few hours in case there were any issues.

So Fathers Day comes. I get up super early and I am prepping food- veggies, fruit, cheese tray, pasta salad, desserts. I mean I am going all out.

Well the calls start- OHHHH DADDDDYYYY come and get us....Pick us up... whine whine whine... so DH goes to get the skids- its like 10 am! I'm like please dont go to the house, I want to be there and set up and I'm trying to make it special.

Well he calls an hour later... we are at the house... skids couldnt wait to see it....Okay I'm annoyed... no one listened.....

Then he calls back... are you done yet...skids are so hungry.... I'm like NO and he is like well I can go and pick up what food you have ready and they can eat and then you can come when you are done getting ready.

Ummm excuse me? So I can make the food, prep it and get it ready but you guys can't even wait 30 more minutes until I get there?

Then he tells me that OSD is making HER AWESOME POTATO SALAD in my kitchen. MY NEW kitchen in my NEW house that I haven't even cooked in!

I started seeing red. I went CRAZYYYY! I was so mad! I screamed at him to get the F out of my house and to take his awful children.

It was a very stressful day. There is more to the story I just can't think of it all. But basically I just went crazy.......

A lot of it though was that I had been having issues with his kids and how he treated them and how they treated me and this was just the straw that broke the camels back. I just felt so USED by them all the time. It was whatever I could give them or buy them. I felt like I had spent all this time cooking and prepping the food and they could care less if I even ate with them.As long as they got what they wanted.....

And then OSD was making such a big freaking deal about the potato salad and she had DH buy all the ingredients and then she got to cook in my kitchen before I even did. This was my first house. I was so sad. And the fact that everyone knew I didnt want the gas on and DH was okay with that UNTIL princess OSD needed the gas on.

I wish I hadnt freaked out like I did though. From that day forward things with the skids have been downhill. Things have never really been the same with me and my DH and the skids situations. I think we always think back to that day. We said and did a lot of things that I think we would both take back.

However, DH just wasn't getting it when it came to his kids. I had been telling him and telling him I had issues and he just kept ignoring me and acting like I was being petty. So I had to flip the F out to show him I was fed up. But of course I looked like the bad guy to EVERYONE and I spent MONTHS defending myself over it.

Yep.

The day BM broke into my house with the aid of the skids lifting my spare key.

DH was cussed out (in multiple languages), I attempted to kick him in the nuts (missed and he had a nasty bruise on his inner thigh) and I had BM and all four skids arrested and threw all the skids clothes out in the dumpster.

Hired a locksmith (made DH pay for it) hired merry maids (made DH pay for it) threw out a ton of clothes of mine that BM had 'tried on' and made DH pay for all replacements.

Half irish, half middle eastern.
Once my temper fully ignites it takes DAYS to come back down to a simmer. MONTHS for it to fully subside.

Apparently I should have gone psycho earlier.
Ever since that day DH is more scared of pissing ME off vs the skids or BM.

I have had several red-sighted moments.

The latest was a few weekends ago when DH first got home. I told him before he even came home that my mom was going to be in town that weekend and I wanted to go meet up with her for lunch or whatever it may be...he agreed and said he wanted to go as well.

He gets home everything is awesome until the next day when we got SS. Well, SS decided he wanted to ride the ATV rather than dirt bike when they went riding that day (may seem useless right now but I have a point of mentioning). The next day (Friday) SS also wanted to ride his ATV opposed to dirt bike. Riding time got cut short so we could go spend time with MIL and BIL10 which was no big deal until Saturday.

Saturday came and the morning started with stress. I mentioned to DH my mom had changed the time for us to meet as she was running late. This was fine until we got about 3/4 the way to MIL's where BIL and SS were going to ride dirtbikes. DH mentioned that he "promised" SS he could ride his dirtbike that day and I said that is fine but we will be back before dark. I kind of kept silent after this until all kids were out of the vehicle. I again pointed out I never see my mom and so this is a big deal to me and he said he would go before we even picked SS up. He looked at me and told me "I will not break a promise to my son, and I've been telling him he was having to wait to ride until today" To which I responded "We will be back before dark I'm not saying he can't ride but it is unfair that you will flip so quick saying you can't go...and no you haven't told SS he couldn't ride HE chose the ATV over dirt bike so don't make up lies to make yourself feel better".

He got out of the truck pissy and we were both silent until we went to take MIL's car to put gas on it because I refused to not see my mom. Mind you if I knew he wasn't going I would have taken my car instead of riding in the truck (MIL's house is 35miles away so not easy to just turn around and get my car on a time schedule). Then he went off about comments I made the night before about how it pisses me off I don't get to use the PS3 I brought into the house specifically in our bedroom and now it is downstairs, and I didn't go with him on Thanksgiving (if I went I would have been stuck in a BM loving high conflict environment while he went out into the woods hunting with SS).

I completely lost it I don't even remember what all I said. I know at one point I even attacked him for getting upset with me for crying and brought up that the only reason I couldn't was because he couldn't separate how BM used emotions and how I used emotions. I also flipped out on the fact that I can't help I have no jobs,etc I brought up everything. It was bad. I ended up going and seeing my mom and making like 3 hour detour so I wouldn't be back until dinner. The drive home was silent.

Since my mom has offered for my birthday to fly me to her house for a few days. DH said nothing except he was happy and since he has seemed to be a little more compassionate about what I say needs to/is going to happen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also almost saw red today as it was going to be silence day in the house when he called and told me SS spit up a little bit at school saying he didn't feel good, mind you he was fine when he left the house. I walked in nothing has been picked up and low and behold SS is on the game system I brought in and told me I needed to move so he could see the TV -- mind you DH is outside doing his own thing not even trying to make sure his "sick" kid was okay.

Stress levels have red a blink away for me right now.

at the start of my relationship with FDH, back when I thought I had to do everything BM demanded because she was "the mother" (this was before I found ST!) me and FDH went to meet her (at her request) to talk about SS.

BM did as she always did, (before I put my foot down and said I wasn't going to see her/ or be in communication with her anymore, again, thanks to ST) used every opportunity to make very subtle but rude comments towards me. I kept my cool and played nice/ civil/ ignored her rudeness and responded with niceness. Wow if I had the knowledge I have now (thanks to ST) I'd have let her have it right back. But I didn't. I just took it like the humble SM I thought I was meant to be.

FDH (BF at the time) and I left and drove back to my place, (we still hadn't moved in together) and when we were lying in bed, I just started talking about how she made me feel saying those things to me. (like a piece of poop on her shoe) 

I must have started to speak quickly or something (I suffer from panic attacks and I think FDH was worried if have one) ..so he said in a deep firm voice "sweetie, you need to calm down"

as soon as I heard him say that, I started shrieking like a banshee, leapt out of bed (butt naked, and crouched in the corner of my bedroom still screaming) shouting "I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" then the rest of what I screamed/ did is just a blur of crazy..

I realise I sound mentally unstable but that was a direct result of communication with BM!!! That was many years ago, and I don't have that anymore, so I'm kinda sane now ;) 

so yes, I have flipped out because of BM lol!

When it comes to BM, pretty much anything triggers a blind rage in me. That's why DH doesn't bring up anything about her unless it's absolutely necessary.

The worst one, the time I feel worst about, was my DH's last birthday. We had an awesome day with SD10 and our friends riding roller coasters at a local theme park, followed by dinner with just DH, me, and SD. It was really a great day. When we got home, I logged into my parks and rec account (which I set up for with all my own info for registering both BD and SD in programs) to register my BD6 for some swim lessons. When I got to the "Select A Client" part, I clicked on the drop down menu and "somehow" BM and DH's names had both been added to MY parks and rec account! I hollered to DH that "we have a problem" and when he reacted nonchalantly, I flipped out. We fought the rest of the night, and into the morning. One thing that DH said that really pissed me off was that "she's SD's mom, she has a right to be on there"...uh, excuse me? NO, she has no right, nor need to be on anything with my name and phone number and OUR address. If she wants a parks and rec account in our city (she lives in the next city over), then she can get her own. (And that's another can of worms--her having bill that are for SD that are in her name sent to OUR address...I'd mark the "HAS NEVER LIVED AT THIS ADDRESS--RETURN TO SENDER) Still don't know how her name got added, she denied it, parks and rec engaged in some CYA and said that since they removed her and him and set a password on my account, that each change overwrote the information about who had made the prior change.

I feel really bad about ruining the last few hours of his birthday.

There are many other times I've completely lost it. I have a hair trigger temper when it comes to her. Too many chances and too many boundary violations. Can't she just go away already??

I lost my crap when SO decided we needed to celebrate SD3 at the time's birthday "as one big family". This included SO, his family, BM, and BM family. I agreed after much discussion with SO only because I figured that we could all be adults for one day. Nope. BM mom was taking pictures with SO, BM and SD, all as one happy family. I was left feeling completely uncomfortable. Later, BM realized that she didn't charge her stupid camera. SO basically threw our camera at her so that she could take pictures. Then we found out the BM cut/cropped me out of EVERY photo. On MY camera.

I went nuts. It is safe to say that we will never do a joint party ever again.

After a few bat shit crazy episodes I decided that nothing my husband's previous life before me was going to affect me negatively. After said episodes, I would feel bad, embarrassed, mad, rage, anger, etc. you name it. Never, ever again.

I do think you over reacted, as I am sure you do also. You should not have gone, you knew that, so you were on edge to begin with. Then add your husband's behavior to the mix and now you are over the edge. I hope he was happy with the outcome. Never let your husband force you to do something you do not want to do. Go with your gut.

Ha, I do recall one time when I was pregnant with my and DHs BD, he had gotten drunk and we were arguing and somehow BM came up in the conversation and my DH replied, "well I don't want to badmouth BM, she is the mother of my daughter" I saw red and said "what the fuck am I too you then" I wanted to KILL him, I told him I was done, done, done and that is the LAST time he got drunk again. That was the last time he ever commented on BM again.

Multiple episodes of flipping over adult skids.

SS is an addict. Great guy when he's clean, and he's only recently relapsed. Sadly relapse is pretty common. DH was apparently an ostrich in his last life and has kept the ability to bury head in sand in tact. Addicts lie, cheat, steal, manipulate. In our early days, I tried to be "nice" and let DH and skid "borrow" money. $50 turned into $100 turned into $1000 with no end in sight. Totally lost it. Semi lost it again only this week when relapse became evident and DH still enabling.

Also lost it over SD several times. SD is generally polite, even fun, but she loves the stroll down memory lane. One particular time this went on for something like three hours nonstop. Remember when this, or that, and when I was 5, and we sang that song, and we took that trip and I sat in the backseat and Mom got mad, and then we watched that tv show that was so funny, and oh remember that fish? At one point I tried to contribute one of my own experiences and DH literally shouted me down. Clearly, I was not welcome in the conversation--I was supposed to be a receptive audience reveling in cute memories that I wasn't around for. DH said they were just "trying to get to know me." Seriously, that's what he said. WTF? So all of that was for MY benefit? Lost it. Totally and completely about 37 seconds after we left.

oh you ladies are making me feel all too nice! I need a good freak out. man do I ever. I'm tired of keeping it all in lol. I feel inspired

oh you ladies are making me feel all too nice! I need a good freak out. man do I ever. I'm tired of keeping it all in lol. I feel inspired

I described Skid to SO as a permanent stain from his relationship with BM. Didn't go down well

I only flipped out on DH for real once.

It was last summer. BM had been driving me crazy so I disengaged. I explained my anger about DH sending SD to his parents house for half (4 weeks) of his summer visitation unsupervised. She came back a pain in the ass. & he had been spending TOO much time discussing things with Bm as far as visitation the past year. We paid 2k for a lawyer to get the visitation agreement drawn up & he still felt like everytime she called like "ok what's going on for spring break" or "ok what's going on for the summer" or "ok when is SD going to her grandparents" he needed to have a fucking 20 minute conversation about it, which always turned into an argument.

Right after she left from her grandparents, she went to her BM's for a week & Bm asked for another week. DH told her fine without consulting me. BM said she was going to take SD & her brother (diff daddy) on a vacation, which of course she didn't. Lies all the time. Then DH had told her she could only have the other week if she would bring SD back on Friday vs Sunday, we had plans that weekend. Friday rolls around, BM hasn't been answering her phone saying it was 'stolen' etc, & she refuses to return SD. DH calls the police in BM's town, BM beeps in & agrees to meet DH that day (Friday) if he agrees to bring SD back on the Friday vs the Sunday before school starts (first day of school was a Thursday so the Friday before instead of the Sunday). He agreed

It was a big ordeal, really stressful, & I had just HAD IT.

I flipped on him, asked him WHY THE FUCK he was negotiating ANYTHING with her when IIIIIIII (yes ME, out of our relocation money from MY JOB) paid for the new CO. I told him no more family money would be going to court costs because it was a FUCKING WASTE because he was literally negotiating EVYER FUCKING PART of the CO with BM every few weeks. He asked if I was riding with him to get SD, I told him fuck no, get out. He goes to get her, I'm still raving mad. I call him, he answers, & I tell him "hey after ur done eating BM's p*ssy can you bring home some milk from the store?" Then I hang up.

I instantly felt better, I turned off my phone & he apologized much later. I never apologized, I am not sorry, he was being a fucking idiot & I was done with it.

No judging here,
I would have flipped my shit too...

My flip out came after I had had enough of seeing Bm's name on his email.

SD is 14 and they keep saying she is old enough to make her own decisions etc.. So really? There should be minimal contact. Bm finds reasons to be in his life and he's not getting it.

It was quiet and through clenched teeth, which is why I think he understood the gravity. BM was trying to dictate things in MY house and I was done.

I actually said, "I am the bitch in this house- not her. Got it?" among some other very choice things, regarding the level of pathetic that BM is, had him completely quiet.

The day guilty daddy refused to go to his CS downward mod because he had to put on a tie. "I don't care if I bring home $6 a week after CS--I'm not gonna wear a tie!"

I lost it!

Ten years plus he STILL doesn't get it: "All I have to worry about is paying my CS" and "I don't care if I have to pay CS till the day I die" (which might be EARLIER than he anticipates with THAT attitude!)

I lost on Christmas Eve this year. We were in a new house and had already hosted Thanksgiving. I had MBA classes and was in the middle of year end at work. DHs brother and his kids and my BS and his girlfriend were coming in the afternoon. Since it was our first Christmas in the same house I had gone all out. I had a half day the day before, BS came over and helped me bake cookies and do some of the prep for dinner while SD hid in her room. I worked all day and into the night wrapping presents, baking cookies and cleaning the house. DH ran SD back and forth to BM and helped with the cleaning and did his own wrapping. BD picked up last minute gifts for me and was helping clean.

In the morning I got up had a quick cup of coffee and started making the rest of the food. BD and DH were doing various things around the house. DH had commented the night before when he saw the cookies I had baked that we would have cookies for breakfast. I had snatched a few cookies but otherwise had not had much to eat. SD slept. At around 11 SD came down to the kitchen. She made herself coffee and sat at the table. Then came the inevitable. "What's for breakfast?" You can make yourself a bowl of cereal, have a bowl of fruit or some toast but you you will need to clean up your mess because I'm running behind. She sits there for a few minutes and leaves. 10 minutes later, DH comes in and tells me he's making some eggs. I told him "I've got way too much going on and I need my kitchen." He says he just can't wait for dinner and needs something to eat and proceeds to fix eggs for himself and SD. I try to ignore it and keep working but after after a few minutes I realize I'm literally shaking. First I put down the knife and put my hands over my face and try to calm down. It doesn't help. I picked up the knife, slung it and the food i was cutting into the floor, got up yelled loud enough for everyone to hear that I had worked my ass off all week and couldn't believe anyone would be so selfish as to add to my workload, stomped out of the room, went upstairs to our bedroom, slammed the door. After a few minutes it occurred to me my blood sugar was very low and I was letting SD and DH ruin my and my bios Christmas.

BD heard me coming down the stairs and brought me a glass of orange juice and made me sit down and eat something and asked what she could do to help. DH had cleaned up my mess and SD was once again sitting at the table. He put eggs on a plate for her and served her. She actually stood up with her plate and started to walk into the living room with it. I yelled at her "Don't you dare take food into the living room and make more messes for me to clean up. She stood at the doorway to the kitchen and ate her eggs without even looking at me. When she was done she went to her room and hid.

DH tried to tell me how unreasonable I was being. I told him I was sorry I yelled and threw things but I had every right to be angry. I was more angry that he had tried to tell me he was the one who wanted eggs when I had already told her she needed to have cereal. It took him a while to admit he was wrong but I don't think he will be cooking breakfast for sleeping beauty when I've spent two days cooking again.

Frig and hell, yeh!! I flipped my shit 3 about 3 months into our relationship because I was just so damned stressed and confused about the way I was feeling. The first weekend BS14 and I sent at SO's with skids. SO took us all to the beach for the day. On the way back, as we were all strolling back, SS10 (at the time), hurt his ankle and started limping. BS and I stayed close to him and I looked up to see if SO could help SS to the car - maybe carry him some of the way, as it was obvious SS was in pain.

SO and SD were walking quite a distance up ahead away from us - holding hands and chatting as they strolled along. I called out to them - nothing. I grabbed my phone and rang SO's phone - he didn't pick up. So BS and I directed SS to a bench, and we all had a seat. About 5-10 mins after that, SO came back looking for us. I told him, through gritted teeth, that his Son needed his help getting to the car. I then walked off with BS and left him to it. I was seething because it was our very first outing with all the kids and I was seeing how things were with SO and SD.

That same weekend, I saw how SO and SD were with eachother. It was like they were the married couple, and SS was their son. They ordered him around e.g. "grab the chips from the kitchen" "clear the table and put the cups in the sink".. etc etc. SD also told me that only SHE knew how to mix her Dad's drinks. I also found out that she refused to sleep without SO singing to her or staying with her or she had to be in his bed. Lawdy me, I was confused. I didn't have STalk at the time and didn't understand any of this - all I knew was that the whole thing made me feel ick.

I did some research, found mini-wife, emotional incest etc and sent him the info. Boy! Did he get angry - launched into me in full defense mode and pretty much attacked everything I sent him. I left it for a couple of days while I tried to sort out my feelings. Once I did more research, I realised I was actualy right, and ripped right into him. We had the mother of a fight. I pretty much accused him of being guilty of emotional incest among other things. We did make up and have worked things out since then.

About a year after that, he had mediation and got told that he enabled SD's behaviour by treating her as an equal. I felt validated. When the mediator told him that SD was acting like a jilted lover - I again felt validated. We had counselling and when the Counsellor explained to SO that he had pushed me out and kept her in his inner circle - he finally, truly, saw the light and apologised to me.

We've had a few blow ups since then but that one was a real doozy!