I am so sick of BM telling SS that his clothes are ugly!!!! I know I shouldn’t let it bother me but for some reason this really gets me. I don’t understand how a mother tells her 5yo son that his clothes are ugly. It wouldn’t bother me as much if she told DH or I that she thought the clothes were ugly or w/e, but why say it to his face.

Ever since SS started preschool BM has been making comments about his clothes (because we don’t buy all of his clothes from Baby Gap) and one of the agreements they had during mediation was that DH would provide additional help for school clothes but that they wouldn’t be shopping at Baby Gap. So since that conversation, BM makes sure to comment on SS clothes that we buy for him. We don’t put him in rags, he has nice clothes and a lot of it is from Gap and Old Navy, etc. we just buy it used because he grows out of his clothes so quickly, but you would never know it’s used by looking at it, it’s all in great condition. I found it frustrating when she would make the comments to DH about his clothes but it didn’t really get under my skin because she always has something to complain about. But when she started making the comments directly to SS, making him feel bad about his clothes, that really sends me through the roof. If you want to be petty about that shit that’s fine, but don’t take it out on your child. I mean he’s five and he’s already so self-conscious about his appearance. Especially when she shows up. As soon as we tell him he’s going to his mom’s his first response is, “Does my hair look ok and do you think she will like my new shirt”!!! Why is a five year old worrying about his MOMS opinion of him. It breaks my heart.

This weekend I took SS shopping for a spring coat. I even let him pick it out and he picked one that look just like his dad’s black pea coat. It was so darn cute and he was SOOOO excited to have a jacket like daddy’s and he asked if he could show his mom. I hesitated, but I didn’t want to steal away his excitement. WELL I should have. I think it would have been better for me to say no you can’t take it to your moms, than have what happened. SS get’s out of the car with the biggest smile on his face and he runs over to his mom and says “Mommy look at my new jacket, it’s just like daddy’s, don’t I look handsome!!!” She looks at his jacket and says to him (AND I QUOTE)“Take that ugly ass jacket off and throw it away. I don’t want to see you wear something so ugly ever again. I’ll wait for you in the car”………I don’t think I have ever seen someone so small so disappointed. He of course cried and DH did his best to pick up the pieces and fought the urge to just scream at her right there. I just got back in the car and cried myself. I know the type of person she is and yet it still shocks me when she does things like this. It’s been 24 hours and I still cannot get over it. I asked DH if he was going to talk to her and he said he doubts it will do any good. She will never see that she’s doing something wrong because in her mind she is perfect. He said we just need to keep doing what we are doing so that at least one household supports him. I get it, but I don’t like it.