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Help! Should I fake interest?

stressedstep's picture

So, I really dislike SS17, and am so glad he does not live with us anymore after all he has done (blogged). Life is much better without either of the SS's living with us now.

Anyways, SS17 had rung OH today. Apparently he has taken some exams at college....SS17 did a maths one yesterday and he feels he has done ok...so OH told me...OH then said that SS17 had also finished his probation at college now.....am I supposed to say "Yay well done"...if SS17 was a decent human he wouldnt have been on probation in the first place! Thing is I couldnt even fake an interest at all. I frankly couldnt care less. I genuinely dont care. But should I fake interest for OH's sake? Say the right things etc?

I cant abide SS17, but love my OH dearly.

Orange County Ca's picture

Well enough of a reaction to let him know you're glad. You can be glad something happened and glad for your husband can't you? Just like you'd be sorry if the kid had an accident. Not necessarily sorry (because the kids was speeding and deserved it) but because you're sorry it happened.

Be happy. They're gone.

ncgal1980's picture

I've just learned to smile and say "That's awesome!" then go on about my business. I don't feel the need to high-five and spontaneously break out in song, so I keep it short. I'm happy that DH is happy, but that's about it.

If something bad happens, I put on my sad, concerned face and say "Oh GOD, that's awful!" Then I just let DH talk from there on out, just so he can get it off his chest.

I don't really care about my stepkids. There, I said it. I've never said it out loud to anyone. I wish I did, but I don't. There's too much noise and drama and BS surrounding them for me to actually feel anything for them, good or bad. But for DH's sake, I fake it as much as I can, though I try to keep it short and then get on with our lives.

stressedstep's picture

I can tolerate SD6, but she is getting a little irksome lately, SS19 I tolerate, he is ok but SS17, well i just dont care.
He could disappear for the next 20 years and he wouldnt pop into my head once.

stressedstep's picture

I suppose for OH sake I will try and fake an interest. I used to, but after whats happened with SS17 I cant summon the energy to even fake it.

I know the situation with his kids hurts him, and I do support as much as I can, but I have my limits. SS17 doesnt like me, and I dont like him, so as long as he stays away from me and mine, life will be blissfully wonderful ish!! lol Smile

hereiam's picture

I don't think you have to fake interest. Just acknowledge that you hear what your OH is saying so he doesn't think you are just ignoring him anytime he talks about his son.

stressedstep's picture

I asked a question or two, but I wasnt congratulatory over interested or anything like that, then I changed the subject.

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

When I share my bios accomplishments out loud, DH rarely responds. Maybe a "hmm" or "cool". No emotion, nothing. But holy cow if the skids do something I am supposed to be enamored.

E.g., DD makes A honor roll - texts a pic of certificate to DH - nothing. I mention it when DH comes in - nothing.

SS *almost* (ALMOST) makes the school list (elementary type equivalent) and DH goes on and on about it for like 2 weeks. I kid you not. He mentioned every other day how SS almost made the list.

:jawdrop:

So now I give no response at all. Petty? maybe...

ncgal1980's picture

You know, I never thought about that. Any time I mention anything good either one of my kids did, or something good that happened at school, all I get is an "Uh huh" or "That's good." No further mention of it. So why am I expected to turn cartwheels and put on a grand display over the stepkids' accomplishments? Beats the hell out of me, so I don't.

When my 9-year-old was accepted into AG (Academically Gifted) for reading, all DH had to say was, "Really? Well, SS9 was accepted last year AND this year for reading AND math." He even mentioned this to my son! He flat-out told my son that his son got in for TWO things, as opposed to his one thing. I'm standing there like "What the hell, DH?!" Sad

Goddytron's picture

If you're not interested you ain't interested. That kid ain't gonna give too white about you so why burn yourself out over it.