Guys, if you've read my previous posts concerning SD11 you'll know how frustrated I've been. But if you haven't read them, in a nutshell, here is what had been happening for the last year or so:

1)SD11 refuses to use good hygiene (won't wash hair, wipe after going #2, etc).
2)SD11 waits until daddddddy is at work and she would yell at me, argue, and be defiant in a way that she NEVER is to dadddy...and she's manipulatice, because she NEVER acts that way when my DH is around.
3)Lie, argue, and be a total pain in the butt.

Well, DH would just defend her, telling me he didn't believe me...that I was exaggerating...that SD11 "would never act like that" because he'd never seen her do it (which is true, he hadn't). He would ask what was I doing to "cause it". Basically, refused to believe she could be so hateful and awful.

Well about two weeks ago, she was getting ready for school and refusing to do her hygiene. She wet her toothbrush but didn't brush her teeth; wouldn't use deodorant, etc. She kept arguing. She always brings her lunch to school because she hates school food, so I had had enough, and I told her gently that because she was going to be hateful to me, she was going to eat school lunch that day. She started screaming (literally screaming) at me, telling me that it wasn't fair and that she was "going to starve" because she didn't like school lunch. I told her "fine, starve. But you're eating school lunch today." And she yelled again. This time she said, "Really? You don't care if I starve? WHATEVER!!!"

Little did I know that my DH who I THOUGHT was sleeping totally heard the whole exchange. He texted me once I was at work asking about the exchange and I told him. You won't believe what happened next. He texted me the following:

"I am so, so sorry I didn't listen to you or believe you. I should have listened. I am so appalled that SD11 has been treating you like that. I am also embarrassed that I chose to believe an 11 year old over my wife. I hope you can forgive me. This WILL be dealt with TODAY--and you will go with me when I pick her up from school so you can be a witness."

I almost fell over! No more "not my precious little princess" syndrome. He realized that SD11 was the freaking problem! So, when we picked her up from school, he asked her what happened that morning. As usual, she tried to lie. He interrupted and said "You are lying. I heard the whole thing. I am disgusted that you have been mistreating my wife for the last two years, and you will not do it any longer. You are just a child. She is a parent, like it or not, and you WILL respect her, and from now on, there will be consequences each and every time she lets me know that you are being a problem."

He has actually stuck to it!! SD11 isn't pulling this crap anymore because she knows daddddy is onto her now! It's great! He works nights, but I text or call him if she's being a brat and he calls her and lets her know what her punishment is. She is doing it very seldom now.

I hate that it took being married to him for 2 years before he stepped up to be a real husband and a real dad, but he did it. His apology was genuine. He's been better to me and I'm no longer treated as I am beneath her.

I just wanted to share!