My 18 yr old SS, ruining relationship with my wife!
My stepson is 18 years old. He's already been thrown out of his dads house, his grandmothers house, 6 high schools in 4 years. But his mother enables him, and I have no rights in my own house. The kid rules. He has been asked numerous times not to smoke at the house (pot or cigarettes). We returned from a trip over the weekend to find dirty glasses and ashes on the floor of my meditation room. He's helped himself to my room, in the attic above the garage. This was the final straw for me. My wife will not enforce any rules. Police called the other night because I was yelling at him about the smoking and she assaulted me, scratching my face. She has has numerous conversations with him, but really no enforcement. He comes and goes as he pleases, no job, loser, filthy, stinky, signs himself out of school because he is now 18. I'm at the point of separating from wife and selling house just to get away from the BS.
maybe this is dumb/pointless,
maybe this is dumb/pointless, but can you have him arrested for smoking pot? after X number of arrests i would think he'd have to do some long term jail time.
He's already been given
He's already been given tickets/ and been kicked out of numerous schools for weed! He knows not to bring the week into the house or I will find it!
You should change the title
You should change the title of this post because you have no "relationship" with your wife, you were evidently forsaken a long time ago in favor of her son.
If this is at the stage where it's getting physical, it's time for someone to get out. Since you know she won't boot her son out, I would say it needs to be you. Can you stay in the attic room above the garage until you find your own place? If so, I would move in there immediately and stay away from the other two. If not, find a friend or relative you can go stay with until you find a small place for yourself.
You need to be very very careful or you may wind up in jail. It takes a microsecond to go from her scratching you, to you trying to defend yourself from her or HIM, and winding up on the wrong side of the law. They will take each other's side in any kind of dispute, so police reports will reflect that and you're going to need a defense attorney.
Avoid this scenario. If you need to pay a lawyer, then pay one for divorce proceedings - not to defend yourself against a domestic violence charge which is what will happen if you stay there.
You are correct on all of
You are correct on all of your points! I'm seeing divorce attorney at 230 today, and real estate agent this evening to sell house!!
It only will cost me about a
It only will cost me about a 125k from 401k/ pension and sale of house, and possibly $ 1500 month support. Total BS!
Love your username! I agree!
Love your username! I agree!
How much is the rest of your
How much is the rest of your life worth? Can you put a dollar amount on it?
Especially if you could potentially wind up in courtrooms, maybe even jail?
Better to take the financial hit now and work on rebuilding your life.
For what it's worth, remember there are plenty of women out there who are emotionally and financially stable, who don't have a demon devil son they are kow-towing to. Get out of this mess, find terra firma then go find one of those women and live a happy life!
Oh, and even at $125K and
Oh, and even at $125K and $1500 a month, your "dear" wife will still have to go out and make some significant income on her own, if she plans to continue financially carrying her adult baby boy. His drug use will eventually wind him in hot water (criminally, legally or medically) and she undoubtedly will want to provide a never-ending stream of money to help him. So even if you stayed with her, you might wind up losing of that kind of money.
good for you. you deserve
good for you. you deserve better than this.
Congratulations on finding
Congratulations on finding clarity on dealing with your toxic bride and worthless POS SS-18. Rather than selling your home and moving out I would suggest that the next time they are both out just rekey the locks and call the police to come supervise them picking their personal belongings up off of the lawn.
Enjoy your fresh start and new life.
Good luck.
scratching your face? this
scratching your face? this is serious. your right to consider leaving. if a man did this to his wife, the police would be called and the husband arrested.
what you are describing is common so you have my sympathies. there is a phenomenon known as the "mini wife" where a husband will be closer to this daughter than his wife.
sounds like you have a "mini husband" in the home. this won't work until somethings is done:
1) wife straightens son out with tough boundaries and ultimatum.
2) son grows up and straightens out. (this may take a long time as some skids are 30 and still messed up.)
3) son does not grow up but leaves anyway. (he may come crawling back when he learns the world is worse than life with you.)
3) you get sick of being the last on the list and leave.