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I really want to tell SD13....

Calypso1977's picture

....to stop the bullshit. in those exact words.

im sick and tired of her whining about visitation, begging out of it (her mother lets her) ignoring her father (her mother lets her) and just being in general a moody, spoiled, entitled brat. her father feels the same way i do, but unfortunatley she has no respect for him because he cant stick to anything he tells her and constantly makes idle threats that he never follows through on.

honestly, this whole custody battle we are in right now with BM is SD's fault on some level. granted, her mother filed on her father but she only did that because of SD's whining. if SD didnt whine, her mother wouldnt bave pursued court. yes its her mother's fault for being spineless and permissive, an filing BS motions (that hte judge denied last month) but here is a 13 year old kid who wants to be grown up, wants to be treated like an adult, but yet im the only one who ever tells it like it is to her. her parents and others all handle her with kid gloves. she knows i dont and i think that's why on the rare occasions i have her alone she is as good as gold and acts normal and does what shes supposed to do.

she is supposed to come over for 3 hours tonight (but will probably beg out of it) but i honestly think i may lose it if i see her and lay into her. i already warned my fiance; he didnt object to it and i think he actually wants me to becuase he knows ill say all the shit he should be saying to her but is too pussy to.

argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jsmom's picture

14 year old girls are just damn evil. I know it is not politically correct to say it out loud. But, at 14 my SD sued us. Yes I blame BM for a lot of things, but this kid is the most manipulative person I have ever come across. Now at 17 she is just evil, playing everyone including her mother, who has lost complete control of her.

Best thing for me, is she is no longer welcome here and DH doesn't even seem to want to try anymore.

Calypso1977's picture

fiance and i are both in agreement that getting 50-50 is the last hope of ever getting this girl and her behavior/attitude under control.

he has agreed that once we get the judges' ruling (march 5) that we will honor it and not pursue it further.

he has never wanted to walk away, but this whole situation has made him see why so many dads choose to simply walk away from their kids. the whole thing breaks my heart.

bottom line is that BM alienated my SD from her father pretty much from the day she was born. the divorce only exacerbated it.

Calypso1977's picture

why do you think he wont get 50-50? there has been a drastic change in circumstances since the original custody decision.

SD sees a counselor, but BM joins in the sessions, steers the conversation, etc. so basically its a waste.

Calypso1977's picture

court has already ruled that she has no say, no GAL will be granted, and her motion for her own attorney advocate was denied.

Jsmom's picture

At 14 here kids get to decide. Odds are good you will lose and spend a fortune doing so. We did.

Anon2009's picture

I agree with jsmom. Teen girls can be a nightmare.

Maybe sd needs a new counselor. A good counselor, IMHO, would want to see the kid alone sometimes too. BM shouldn't be in every session (and the same goes for you, a stepdad and DH).

Jsmom's picture

Counseling doesn't work if the kid and BM lie to the counselor. BTDT and have the t-shirt.

Calypso1977's picture

well, as predicted SD whined about visitation last night.

My fiance FINALLY grew a set. He told her she was coming not only for her usual thursday but for this weekend too.

He shows up at their house. BM had just pulled in the driveway with SD. SD walks over to the car apparently with a puss on her face and tells her father "im not coming with you" and then walks up the driveway. Instead of BM doing her job as the custodial parent and telling her to get her ass in teh car, she walks with SD to the top of the driveway. then tehy apparently stand there and stare at fiance.

He tries calling both their phones, they ignore him (standard procedure).

Then he calls the cops. He knows they cant force the child to go with him , buit he wanted it documented for purposes of a contempt motion. He's fed up with being denied his rights and time.

Apparently the look on BM's face was priceless as was that of her mother who also came out to stare at fiance sitting in the driveway waiting for his wife and daughter to comply wtih the court order. What's doubly embarassing is that BM's mother actually works for the local PD.

Fiance made it clear he will do the same thing on Saturday morning if his daughter isnt turned over to him. I really truly think he will do it to.

Rags's picture

I applaud your fiance for holding both his daughter and his toxic XW accountable for their behavior.

Calypso1977's picture

had to do the same drill with the cops again today as BM denied us SD for the weekend visitation because she didn't waaaannnnaaa go.

worst part is fiance told BM if she was planning to deny it to simply send an email or text saying she was going to deny the visitation and spare SD the trauma of having the cops called.

instead he shows up, she sends the kid out to say "im not coming with you" while BM just stands there letting the kid do the talking. unreal.

this situation has taken a complete 180 and its all fueled by BM's insecurity. a shame a child is suffering, even if its a child im not super overly fond of.

Calypso1977's picture

Walking away has been discussed. Fiance is just not willing to do that. Like many BD's, he's afraid of either losing his child forever or that she end up hurt, in trouble, etc. if he doesnt stay involved.