I had dinner with the wife of one of my husband's friends recently. She's been with my husband's friend for a few years now and her and I get along well. We were talking about her SD (my husband's friend's daughter) and how much she loves her adult SD but is frustrated with how irresponsible this girl is, etc.. etc...

Then she brings up MY sd (DH's eldest daughter) she says completely unsolicited and out of the blue that DH's daughter needs to "grow up and get over it. What is she, like 30 years old now?"

I said she is 32 and yes I wish too that she would grow up and grow past her issues

I then mentioned that the situation is made more difficult by her Aunt, DH's sister, who doesn't go to a lot of trouble to hide her dislike of me, which only encourages his daughter to carry on like this

This friend says to me that DH's sister "is crazy"

Now, she has been to a few family get togethers where DH's sister has been at but I didn't realize she had really talked to her much and so I said this

This friend then reminds me of our house-warming party last year and she was so disgusted by DH's sister's attitude. I said that was funny, because my sister had said the same thing to me after the party.

This friend says yes, she knows DH's sister's dog had died and for sure that was awful for her but seriously?

And I said yes I know, the long face, the negative tone, the way she walks around with this horrible atmosphere about her like everything is just terrible terrible terrible

I laughed and said that this is how she is to DH and I, all the time. Every family get together she has an attitude as soon as we walk in. Never says hello, doesn't even answer if we were to say hello to her (which I've stopped) walks around with the nasty attitude, ready to pounce if DH or I so much as sneeze

I had forgotten that this friend has seen both DH's daughter and sister in action. I had also forgotten the shitty way both of them had treated her the first time DH's friend had introduced her to everyone. They were rude, dismissive, snotty.....no wonder she feels the way she does about them!

I hadn't brought these situations up nor asked for her opinion however I felt a lot more validated (not that I needed to be) by her comments. It's one thing for me to suffer through this alone but quite another when an outside person describes them exactly as I feel the people they are!