BM is a stay at home mom?

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My fiancé is going to his temporary hearing for Cs soon.. He and the ex have been seperated for over 2 years. He used to pay her $800/week, and only keep about $100/wk for himself. He and I started dating and decided to get an apartment so he could take the kids every weekend. He has lowered the payment over time to $600/week so we can afford to do this. Still it's over half of what he makes. He has a FT job, I work two jobs, but his ex still is a stay at home mom and refuses to work. We fully support their household. Her mother even lives there, and also does not work. My fiancé and the ex have three kids, 12, 10 and 6, all of which are in full day school and are with us every fri-sun.
Can the court order her to get a job? He wants the payments to be at the MA state guidelines ($370/wk), so we have enough money to spend on sports for them but if he lowers the payment it will only cover her rent/electric/some groceries. But it's not fair that we keep supporting her and her mother just because they don't want to work, right? Daycare shouldn't even be an issue because she has weekends completely free.
Any thoughts? I just want to know what to expect.

Um WTH.... she needs to get a

Um WTH.... she needs to get a job. No way in hell would I be living with a man- working 2 jobs- while his ex sits on her ass all day and we were supporting that.

IMO if you do not work, it's because you are able to support yourself either by yourself or from your husband. Sounds to me like other people (You and your SO) are supporting her to stay at home.

Kids are old enough. No reason for her to not be working.

The court can't order her to

The court can't order her to get a job but they can factor in the income she would be making if she had a job when it comes to figuring out FDHs CS. Read up on CS laws in MA.

http://www.mass.gov/courts/childsupport/
http://www.mass.gov/courts/childsupport/2013-child-support-guidelines.pdf
http://www.mass.gov/courts/childsupport/cjd304-worksheet-child-support-g...

They became seperated after 9

They became seperated after 9 years, but now it's a year later, maybe that's why she's dragging the divorce so long? So that it'll be 10 years 'married' and get alimony? She used to work as a graphic designer from home but now says she's sick of it.

The date of separation was

The date of separation was before 10 years. There is no magical alimony amount at the ten year mark, and there are waaayyyy too many factors that go into making that decision. Ability to pay is one of them. Courts cannot take 80% of one person's income and give it to a non working person for no reason other than "magical alimony at the 10 year mark" mantra.

I don't know about alimony,

I don't know about alimony, but 10 years married means she will qualify for his social security benefits.

yes, but CS runs concurrent

yes, but CS runs concurrent with alimony. you dont get both. i know this because fiance may have to pay alimony for 2 years after CS ends (he was married 18 years). he only pays the CS now until kid is 22 (or 19 if she does not go to college FT).

In my state alimony is

In my state alimony is separate from CS and they both can run concurrent. Alimony (also known as spousal support) is an amount paid by one spouse to another after a divorce to allow the lower-income spouse to, for example, go back to school to get a degree so he or she can get a better paying job and to allow for meeting certain living expenses. Its a one and done deal in my state. If you don't ask for it when you file for divorce, you can't go back and ask for it later. In my state the judge will grant alimony for a definitive period of time - they did away with permanent alimony about 20 years ago. Also, the judge can award pendente lite alimony which is "temporary alimony" pending the outcome of the divorce case.

Unlike child support, alimony isn’t guaranteed and the amount is at the discretion of the judge. My SO is paying both child support and alimony.

In my state, alimony will not reduce the CS - or vice versa. My SO pays an arm and a leg for both alimony and CS.

In 6 months....he will have a significant increase to his monthly income

Due to the number of years your SO was married, he may have to give her a percentage of his retirement. My SO was married for 18 years also, and his ex was granted 45% of his retirement, which was based on our state guidelines.

You must be in a one income

You must be in a one income state for CS (which I think is BS), because alimony is taxable income to the receiver and it can be used in CS equations (state dependent of course).

She made him empty his 401k a

She made him empty his 401k a couple years ago to pay for a boob job, so there's not a ton of money left in it. Lol I've never heard of such a thing but it just goes to show how retarded she is and how brainwashed he was by her. Thank god he's not such a pushover anymore... I just can't believe the lengths some people will go to try to save a marriage. He never even got to enjoy the new boobs! She kicked him out as soon as she was recovered. Selfish twat .

She worked on and off doing

She worked on and off doing graphic design at home, she has all the software and everything, and my SD even told me her mom has been doing some work lately but there's no way of proving it cause it's under the table. She's not worked a 'real job' in about twelve years because DH owned his own business and she worked for him, also under the table. But with all my stepkids being in school all day and every weekend free I feel like she should be available to find some sort of job.. I have a son and I still manage to work. And her unemployed mother lives there and could watch the kids if needed (or ss17 could but that's asking too much from him apparently).
I'm just so frustrated . I always see on Facebook people tag her in posts where she is out to eat, at bars, at the gym, or flashing her new fake boobs. I almost feel bad because I can't be the only one who looks at her and thinks she's a joke.

I agree WTH??? Your FHD is

I agree WTH??? Your FHD is paying her way more than he needs to paying her. More than half of his check goes to her, to me, that's way too much. How is able to survive and support his children while they are with him. He shouldn't have to support her completely. IDK how the court will feel about this, but I think that's way too much.

while I agree that she is an

while I agree that she is an lazy bitch, no one can force her to get a job, unless SHE is required to pay your DH CS...but since he has to pay CS, no you can't force her to work....

Yeah I supported myself and

Yeah I supported myself and my son with not a dime from his father for four years until I met my fiancé , and when he makes excuses for her it drives me insane!! She has more schooling than I do, and help from my fiancé and her mother. If I could do it, she can, or she can apply for welfare. I would rather pay for her with my tax dollars than my actual dollars!

No freakin way. BM decided

No freakin way.

BM decided she didnt want to work anymore, I told her we weren't paying her to sit at home on her ass... she willingly signed a statement saying she forfeits CS rights, had it approved by the judge and it is now a part of their custody paperwork. No way would I put up with this!!! Not for one minute. I work too hard to support some lazy bitch.

I'm glad I'm not alone in

I'm glad I'm not alone in being frustrated by this, I think my fiancé is brainwashed to be honest! He doesn't love her, yet for some reason he is so reluctant to cut it down more than he has already. He says he's just worried about the kids and doesn't trust her to take care of them and I said if that's the case, they should live with US. I would love that, because she is always telling them to not listen to me and that it's not my house (even though I pay at least half the rent and my name is on the lease) so they don't need to follow our house rules.
BM is nuts, in my opinion, and it's nice to hear I'm not the only one who thinks so!

I'm glad I'm not alone in

He's the one asking for the

He's the one asking for the temporary order.. Because $600 is still way too much. I was just curious if there was going to be some reason why a judge might order his payment to be more than the guideline just because she won't get a job. You don't need to tell me it's crazy to give her more.. I KNOW it's crazy!! It's just been a matter of waiting for her to file, doing it ourselves, and now having to wait, all the while reducing the payments without his kids being in jeprody. But I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I was just looking to see if anyone had been through this but it sounds like most dads have never paid the BM so much extra

Once he lowers it I think she

Once he lowers it I think she will qualify. I used to make $200 a week and I qualified for it but didn't opt to get it

I think in today's society,

I think in today's society, alimony is utter garbage
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
AGREE - AGREE - AGREE.

I'm sorry, but this guy is an

I'm sorry, but this guy is an idiot. Who in the world volunteers to just give someone that much money? Why are you working two jobs while he just hands BM money? :? :?

And what is with all these mothers who think they should be able to sit on their asses while their ex-husbands and current husbands support them and their kids????

Idiot maybe. But my question

Idiot maybe. But my question was more geared towards if anyone else's BM was made to get a job. No, I am not happy with our situation. That's why he is about to go to court to fix it. I don't care how stupid it might seem to everyone here, everything he did was in his mind, to benefit the kids. But I guess I'll just ride it out because everyone on here is so rude.

I wish they could live with

I wish they could live with us, DH didn't want to make them switch schools, but the problem is that when money gets tight for her, the kids are the ones who suffer. We had to buy them winter coats because they came to our house wearing just hoodies, in December, and said all their coats were too small and donated to Salvation Army (none were handed down to smaller siblings), and when we dropped them off their mother was wearing a new north face jacket. No money to get the boys haircuts but she has new hair extensions! Stuff like that happens all the time and it makes me so sad.

I my experience, the CS will

I my experience, the CS will be calculated by what she could be making if she was working full time. It's possible he won't owe that much. In fact, 370 for what looks like 3/7 of the time seems REALLY high to me. But what do I know? I'm in CA and things get kinda screwy here.
The court won't force her to get a job, but they'll sure as hell make her pay what she would be towards CS if she did have one.
A friend of mine just went back for CS because he couldn't afford the $500/month payment. He has his daughter Thursday morning to Saturday afternoon. His payments just got lowered to $50. That's a tenth of what he was paying before. The mother doesn't work, but they calculate her at what she should be making, which is roughly what he does.

I was reading through the

I was reading through the comments and noticed the alimony topic. The temporary hearing is for child support not alimony. BM would need to file that seperately.

States go by earned value when one doesn't work. The BM in your case used to work...being a stay at home mom wasnt her "career" so the child support payments should be reasonable (of course reasonable is relative).

For now he should pay her the child support he for 3 kids like the dissomaster indicates. You say $370 a week? Whatever it is he should pay that because courts can go off established support. Example: if he's been paying xxxx amount of every month then he should continue to pay xxxx amount a month because BM's household has been conditioned to xxxx amount of support. It's can be a painfully gradual process to bring it down.

Your DH's heart may be in the

Your DH's heart may be in the right place but he is an idiot. He is leeching off of you to pay his living expenses so he can keep paying his guilt driven prostitution on the installment plan payments to his womb XGF womb donor..

I am aghast at the situation you described. Since there is no CO requiring CS he needs to stop all payments to BM immediately, get his records showing how much he has paid over the years in order and get to court ASAP. If BM and her own deadbeat mother end up homeless so much the better for your DH's custody effort.

No, a court will not make a parent get a job. A CS order will be issued but the courts can not force someone to work.

I am still stuck on how naive your fiance is. Really? :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

I would go find another life partner who is much sharper than the one you are saddled with now were I you.

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BM is a stay at home mom?