You are here

Posting pics to social sites?

seekingpatience's picture

Ok, so question. If you have biokids and stepkids, do you think its ok to post pictures of the whole family, including the stepkid in the pics to your social sites? (instagram, facebook, etc)

i ask because biomom freaked out on me over it, and now i am a little worried that maybe she will try to take me to court for... something? shes crazy like that. I honestly never once thought it was a big deal. i take all the pics in our family (which includes a biodaughter of my own) and post them on my account and i always tag DH. i think it would be super terrible to leave him out of pics. DH thinks its 100% fine, sees no reason why she should care. she kept saying over and over "im his mom, not you!!" every single one of my friends knows he's my stepson! what the heck?

if it matters, they have shared parenting/custody, but she has SS most of the time, because of DH's work schedule.

Anon2009's picture

While I can see why BM would feel pi$$ed, I don't understand how she acted. All the adults in step situations should pick and choose their battles.

EvilWickedSM's picture

If DH was okay with it then I wouldn't be concerned. However, if neither he nor BM were okay with it, then I wouldn't post them.

StepKat's picture

I only post pics of the skids when they are taken with other family members. Good example is over Thanksgiving and Christmas I took tons of pics and the skids where mixed in with other family members. Those that I like that just happen to have the skids in them I posted to Facebook. I ask DH first not because he would have a problem with it but to make sure he thinks BM won’t cause drama. I’d rather not spark a battle and cause DH to end up with a headache because BM is a psycho idiot. Facebook drama cause by BM is why DH deleted his Facebook account all together.

Just J's picture

I guess I'm in the minority here cuz I don't see the big deal. I like to have a family picture taken every year with my two step kids, my two bios and me and DH, and always post it on FB and tag DH and the SKs. My SKs have even used it as their own profile pics. Or sometimes I take random candid pictures of my two step kids together or one or the other with my kids or DH and post them saying what we're celebrating or whatever. As far as their BM I don't know what she thinks nor do I care. She can be mad but it makes no difference. I've been in her kids' lives for 12 years, I'm not going anywhere and she can hate or like my pictures but it doesn't change that we are a family or take away my right to post a picture of my family as I see fit. I'm not saying this to be stubborn or bitchy, I've honestly never thought even for a minute what she has thought of me posting a picture that has her kids in it. I'm not doing it against the kids' or my DH's will so as far as I'm concerned it's ok. My profile isn't public so random weirdos can't see my pics if that was ever anyone's concern.

zerostepdrama's picture

Sounds like she is freaking out just to be a bitch. She isnt concerned with is pics being on social media, just concerned with them being "family" pics and it's not her family. As long as DH is okay with it, then I dont see a problem.

However you need to block BM from your account and DH's account. Then she wont be able to see anything that you post.

seekingpatience's picture

i just want to add that BM is not friends with me or DH on FB, nor is she friends with ANY of my friends OR any of DH's friends. none of his family, etc. since this happened, i blocked her as well. she didnt even see them (she cant see anything i post cuz its friends only), she just found out because she asked ME to send her pics of the kids when we took them to see santa. I told her (not thinking) that oh, they're on my fb, ill get them to you tomorrow. i know i shouldnt be texting her but in that circumstance she asked DH for pics that were on my phone so i just (thinking i was being nice) texted them over. DH was and is entirely 100% a-okay with any and all pictures I have chosen to upload. they're all just family related pics. AND i know, cuz i saw her fb page, that she posts pics of her son that have a public setting. i NEVER do that, all mine are friends only. so.. you guys dont think she would have any case in court right?

zerostepdrama's picture

Nope nothing legally that I know of.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things.

Orange County Ca's picture

Everyone is right - you take a picture its yours to do with what you want. Any talk of legal action is just that. Talk.

BM is concerned that she's being replaced as Mommy and it may be such a concern that she's paranoid about it. Insane may be a better word.

Can you pass word to her that you will not post any posed pictures of her kids. By posed I mean everyone standing there gawking at the camera as if they were all one big happy family. You can take them and show them around just don't post them. Is your friends all that interested in seeing your steps when all is said and done? Generalized pictures such as your described Christmas pictures are not included and as you said if you have a shot of step kid making a goal at the game send it to Daddy to do with what he wants and handle any repercussions.

The about a month from now I would block her from the site - she needs to find something else to do with her time.

Rags's picture

It is YOUR family, post whatever pics you want. If BM has a problem with it that is her issue not yours. Your message to her needs to be STFU and get your own life and family.

Skids are no less a part of your family than they are a BioParents.

IMHO of course.