my dw wanted to reconnect with an old friend that had become estranged. so we arranged for the friend to come over and spend the day and an overnight. I ask the sd a senior and 2 months shy of her 18th birthday to please stay at a friends house that sat evening (not a stretch she is at a friends almost every sat)but to stop by around lunch and say hi, and not be around until sun noon (again not a stretch) so the dw and friend could reconnect. I was hoping that there would be a party after the dw and friend got through their issues, and there was. the sd came home after 5pm not noon and brought a friend. the dw and friend were out back on the deck and I was in the kitchen getting them drinks and cooking dinner. the sd first words were I suppose that they are drinking and I said yes and she rolled her eyes and went to the deck, and I followed. the dw and friend were silly fun. the sd and her friend were making facial gestures concerning the dw and the dw's friend. at one point in the conversation the dw tried to participate and the sd told the dw to "leave it alone mom your drunk". I need to make it clear that this was the first time in a years that the dw let it go and was silly. I also need to point out that the sd has made comments in front of me to her friends concerning her bm and I, concerning the silliness, which she has only seen once. upon leaving I (sd)texted my sd my anger over the drunk comment and (if you and your friend plan on having a discussion on what just happened with the rest of your friends, I will make your life miserable), by the way I shared all with my dw the next morning. now my sd months later told my dw that she cried and was afraid of me and does not want me to be allowed to discipline her. my dw now thinks I may have been a little harsh. I wanted to jack the sd up the wall. really????