Consider this
Why do people come to this board?
Well it is to vent. Cause unlike many issues in life there are limited resources to share complicated divorce and family blending issues with.
We all come here sometimes to moan and groan, voice how upset we are, feeling helpless? and sometimes feeling in "over are heads" and let's face it - divorced folks - we are up for judgement in the general public especially when it comes to kids.
We can't go around saying "oh, my FKN step child is such a POS". Well - what people don't know is that although they are kids and I feel for every one of them - we count too. These kids are often abusive to their step parents and direct hate and anger that should be directed in lots of other places but end up right on the step parents door step. Most of us Step parents, like me, walk into the situations with dreams and hopes that the family will blend over time and we will be accepted by our step child. BUT, the problem isn't the kids but they end up being the tools of destruction and the abuse can be bad and even unsafe.
What is my point? We are here to band together and share and offer each other hope. I have had in a number of posts some very nasty people who clearly are either step children or Biological moms pissed off by our conversations that are adding awful stuff on my posts. I complained recently about one of them because it was just so uncalled for and designed to be mean.
We get enough mean from some of our step children and enough mean from x spouses so we don't come here to get any more MEANESS. We are human beings and in pain and need help and support. IF we get help and support and advice then those step kids and even BM's are better of or BF's too. We are sharing experiences and all learning here. There will be NO WIN situations and some of us will bail and some of us will endure.
Regardless - I really do hope we can keep the infiltrators out and that they can find or start their own support group.
Thank you all that actually have given me support.........I support you.....we are human....none perfect....but here to learn & grow and try.
True statement. I need this
Who was rude to you!? That's
Who was rude to you!? That's no right of them. You are right that this site should be a place to come together to help each other, not put someone down. Grrr! I hate rude people.
>Why do people come to this
>Why do people come to this board?<
I was told alcohol tastes better and goes down easier after reading and writing to this board.
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
It's interesting to me that
It's interesting to me that so many BM's would flip out. I am also a BM and I went nuts trying to make sure I wasnt a horror story BM to my kids' stepmother. I was constantly scrutinizing my behavior both as a BM and as a future SM to my SO's kids and in relation to their own BM.
If I read from my kids' stepmom that I was a raging bitch (and she eventually decided that but for selfish reasons not legitimate ones - long story but she freaked out because I wouldnt keep my kids from my exhusb's family after she alienated them all due to a conflict between her bio daughter and one of my kids' cousins), I would be hurt and concerned and I would want to know WHY. After rationally reviewing the reasons why I would then make it my business to repair the relationship at least to a civil standing for the kids sake. If those reasons, such as in my case unfortunately, were not legitimate then I would tell the SM, sorry but you have issues and when you want to be an adult and talk about them, I'm all for it. Otherwise just dont take it out on my kids (which was result of my situation thus causing me to be the BM we all hate and I ripped her in half - sorry, dont mess with my kids when you are clearly unstable, lady).
If I have nothing constructive to say on a post, I DONT POST. PERIOD.
I appreciate this site as much as you do. For once I feel normal and not tied up in knots
Sadly there is always an
Sadly there is always an "ivillage" element here that always has to "devil's advocate" for no rules, no boundaries, A.S.S. (adult spousal status), free-ranging, BFFing children. That will never change.
I come here to vent. Even if
I come here to vent. Even if you don't agree with someone you should at least try to respect their point of view.
Amen Sister!
Amen Sister!
You go fearless & steam
You go fearless & steam away!!!
Step parenting is on of the most unrewarding jobs - and when you do a have child that loves you and cares it is a gift. I struck out with 1 kid and seem to have done well with the other. But that can change in a heartbeat when mom decides to find something to enrage her about in regards to me and who I am or what I am acccused of being or doing. This is her game.
KARMA - I have to let go of anger & hate and release it at times here or there.
that is why we are here!!! SUPPORT!!!