BM on my attack
One SD wanted to go with BM and the other didnt.
So who gets all the backlash, me.
Oh yeah, Not.
I feel so exhausted, mentally and physically that I feel that I can hardly wake up in the morning after not being able to sleep hardly at all. But I have to get up and go to work cause BM does not help with one dime on HER kids.
I get that I dont have kids of my own, but Im not so stupid that I dont know what to do with kids, but to be little me all the time what reward is in that, does it make her a better BM, cause she don't have her kids and everyone else needs to be miserable.
I feel guilty cause I don't want to do anything with my younger SD, her BM has he all confused and messed up and I think she is telling her to do things.
Once again I have lost enjoyment in everything I once did. How can someone get their kid to do and say things to someone "You are just another one of dad's Hoe's"
You cuss out a kid and tell them you are going to beat them up, but I tell my SD she is acting like a brat and you call me out. Maybe I'm wrong I shouldn't say anything to her like that, help me out please I just don't even want to talk to the Skids anymore, in fear that I will get something written down on me for the BM to use in court.
"Once again I have lost
"Once again I have lost enjoyment in everything I once did"
Oh boy. This is exactly the way I feel. We are both "sucked dry" of all our life & joy for it. So my question is HOW DO WE FIX THIS!!!
I am unclear why you have responsibility for your SD. You don't have kids. You probably work. As far as telling a kid they are acting like a brat - don't sweat it. So what!!! That is not abusive. You are pointing out her BEHAVIOR as bratty and not HER. Focus on the behavior that led to you calling her a brat. Now - clearly BM will have something on you if you hit a kid or use excessive swearing (maybe on the swearing). So don't give it to her.
BM will try to make the kid not trust you. So step back and ignore whatever you can and clarify statements right away that she makes. If she says something that you think is parrotted then just ask her to explain what she means by that. Ask questions and you will draw out the answers without having to say them or bad mouth her mom. You can NEVER say anything negative about her mom cause kids are loyal no matter what to their BM and BF.
I would suggest you getting out and away from the situation and continuing to have a life of your own. This will consume you and I am speaking from experience.
I am also unclear why YOU
I am also unclear why YOU have responsibility for your SD.
Also...how does her Dad handle the verbal abuse to you, such as calling you "dad's hoe".
If Dad fought to have custody or visitation then HE is responsible to care for his kids.
So...let him know that unless he gets his child under control and respectful of you, then the care of that
child will be all on him.
Unless you're now in some sort of competition with the BM.
As IAMGOOD suggested...get out and away from the situation and have a life of your own.
I dont really have the
I dont really have the responsibility of her, my husband does everything, it just seems unfair that BM is not ordered to help out with anything, and how she got by with that.
I felt the same way at
I felt the same way at first!
I'm in my early 30's with a career and no children of my own, (Were going to try for a baby soon) but I felt way in over my head.
I became a military wife to a high ranking man. I became stepmother to 3 teenage daughters, all with various issues.
The birth mother has not held a job for more than 1 year and a half. My husband has paid her rent, water, electricity, phone bill etc.
If he doesnt, she makes it so he cannot speak to the kids (this was when they were younger). Once while he was deployed to the middle east, he went the entire tour not speaking to his kids because every time he sent her money for wifi and the phone bill, she would spend it on something else.
She is bi-polar, crazy, jealous, and is emotionally attached to her kids on an unhealthy level. She brings every man she happpens ever met into her life, and brought them in the kids lives. She cannot stay single for more than a week and falls in love with every man, she even meets. Now she is on her 6th marriage.
When we got the kids, it was awful. I felt out of place, The kids didnt dare to disrespect me in front of my husband but they made small comments when he wasnt around. The youngest actually called me a "Hoe Train" and it took all of me not to smack her in the mouth as my parents would have done.
I put my foot down and explained all my worries and fears to my husband. I'm very lucky because he is very supportive and protective of me as well as his children.
It took a while for me to take control of my position in his life. I had to learn to demand respect from his kids, he backed me 100%.
I thought it would take a very hard hand to get this but in all honesty. I made a list of rules in my home and explained them to his kids. If they didnt follow there was repercussion.
Mom is trying to get them
Mom is trying to get them back later on, she is trying every angle she can right now. I know she has the younger one on my attack right now cause she can.
My husband does punish them for bad behavior, sometimes it feels like I am the punching bag and they say alot of things to me when their dad is not around, which I can understand that and are an angel when he is around.
I think I am going to start recording the way she treats me.
I am so glad I found this
I am so glad I found this site, I really need some input and advise from people