Before we were married, DH always spent $250 on each adult SK; $100 on the son/daughter in-law, then $50 on the GKs. Then we got married and after being treated like shit all these years by his kids, I put a stop to that bankroll; we discussed and each family gets $125 limit.

This morning, DH informed me that he’s not shopping for his wonderful golden eggs; he’s sending money. Apparently, he has realized that when he doesn’t buy the SKs what they want from their wish list (that’s a whole other matter/very bad sore point with me!), they ask for the receipts and return every gift that we have bought them and used the money instead. So this year, he said he was going to be smart (thank goodness I was sitting down when he told me this!)

I can’t help but wonder – what made him change his mind?!

Was it because:

1). We only see 1 daughter-in-law once a year – at Christmas; she wants her gift plain and simple then leaves.

2). The Queen SD and her family won’t be here – they’re going to be out of town (5 down and 15 still to put up).

3). For the past 10 Christmases, this has been the scenario at our house – 6 SKs & families (20) fly/drive in; some stay with us and the others stay at their mom’s. Then all (20) come here for breakfast then leave to go to their moms; all 20 return here for lunch then leave to go to their moms, then all 20 return here for dinner, drinks, and cards. I was doing all the cooking, cleaning up, and grocery shopping; everyone was having a great ass time, but I was tired and PISSED!

Last year I disengaged and I told DH – this is your family, not mine. So DH spent $600 on groceries; he and the kids did all the cooking for all the meals, and it took him 3 days to do all the dishes after they were finally gone and 2 entire days to clean house my way (I refused!) And he was pissed (we made that much of a mess???)!!!

Now since DH has finally realized what kind of games his wonderful golden eggs have played and that I have had enough of their BS, he finally believes that old saying “if the wife’s not happy, then nobody’s happy!”

I am really enjoying my disengagement!! I can’t wait for Christmas – that’s my relaxing time!

Thanks ST for teaching how to learn to live again!

I am who I am; your approval is not needed!