A little of my history. Married to my husband who has a 4 yo daughter. He has 50/50. He and the mother were never married. And Of course I was the person in his life after they broke up. I've been in my sd life since she was 9 months. The BM is on her 4th relationship since I've been in the picture all of them being long distance.

Dealing with BM really is like a roller coaster. One day she literally won't say a word when she picks up my SD, one day I will think were having a breakthrough because she's halfway decent, the next she is rude.

So.... The custody agreement says on days custody is exchanged the person acquiring custody shall go to the others home, unless it's at her daycare place. Anyway, on thanksgiving BM wanted to "meet up" (we live about 10-15 minutes away from each other) obviously it being a holiday we didn't want to take away time from our family. So we said no, she could meet us at our house at the time that was agreed upon. She literally said she didn't want to "backtrack" to get her. (FYI her boyfriend lives 40 minutes in the opposite direction and she was apparently taking her there) I mention this because it may have contributed to her attitude towards me on this day.

We get back from dinner at our family's house, and she's park in the middle of our road. There is still 15 minutes left until it's time for her to get her child. So we go in our house and my husband looks out the window and she is now just standing behind her car, out in the middle of the road. So while he is getting my SD changed and into her boots and coat she came in, he tells me I can invite her in so she isn't standing in the snow/cold. So I do that. Open the door and I said "you can come in. We are getting her changed now." She quickly replies "no" so I said "okay well it's 415 so if you want to park you can too. Happy thanksgiving." And immediately she says rudely "just get her out here!" So instead of completely blowing my lid, I said "you're so sweet! Happy holidays!" And shut the door. My husband who was near heard and I told him he either talks to her or I will blow up. So he did. He said he would appreciate it if she's nicer and that I was just trying to be nice. She says "well I guess I'm just a rude person, right?" And looks at her daughter who shakes her head no. Seriously. So then my husband texts her and told her she doesn't need to bring my sd in this or play the victim. He then apologized about her having to come get her if that is what she was mad about and wrote word for word the custody agreement. She quickly replied "K. Your right and I'm sorry if I hurt everyone's feelings...have a wonderful day :)" he never replied and 10 minutes later she replied "I'm sorry for being rude I just don't want to be replace if you know what I mean" he never replied. He feels as though she got his point.

So the next time she picks her up, I won't know what personality to expect and how to deal with her. When my husband is working on days we have my sd I watch her if I don't have to work, and sometimes those are "exchange" days. So it's inevitable. And I don't want to have to avoid a situation like this. I shouldn't have to, so thats not an option. And for anyone thinking my husband should have said it, that's not fair either. When she comes to my house, I should be able to be courteous to her. She's obviously insecure and jealous, but I just feel like she needs to put her emotions aside because this isn't about her feelings or her insecurities. It's about being civil for the sake of the child involved.

I asked my husband what we would do if she continues the disrespect and he said that's when we threaten with legal action. So I'm not sure where to go from here, I just try to plan out responses while still being calm and kind.

Oh and ironically enough, she asked my sd to call one of her exes "daddy" and when they were in mediation at the beginning of the year for custody she told the mediator that I cause "scenes" seems a little bit if hypocrisy if you ask me!