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I smell BS

Nothemom's picture

Submitted by Nothemom on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 8:45am

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Last night SS(17) made a rare appearance at our house. The last time we saw him was 2 months ago and prior to that 4 months, prior to that 8 months. So his visits are increasing which is good for DH.

When DH asks what he wants for Christmas SS said that he doesn't like gifts and thinks that Christmas is too much about presents. He also goes on to say that he would rather give gifts than to get them. I choke back a laugh and start to tell him; interesting since he has never in the last 5 years have givin anyone in our house a gift for anything. And when we went to pick out a gift for a less fortunate person he was too concerned with getting back to his moms that he was rude with the shopping etc. (Please keep in mind I don't want anything from this kid but I had for the first 3 years called him for each holiday/birthday and asked if he wanted to go shopping or had ideas for his dad and he never wanted to.) Now he is tring to spin this BS that he is a generous person and doesn't like gifts.

After and during me calling him on it he was red faced. I appoligized for embarrassing him and he said that he doesn't get imbarrassed in small groups. Another BS line which I called him on again.

It felt good to finally tell him a small bit of what I think about him but in that same moment I have confirmed how horrible of a step parent I am to him and I'm sure it did wonders for giving our relationship a lasting cold shoulder.

I wish that DH could see the same kid I see but of course even when he is a complete jerk to DH he can do no wrong. I'll give him credit for actually coming to see DH more often. Weird how $ has an effect on people. (DH has givin him a heavy loan.)

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 10:45am

Jesus must have you on speed-dial given that you are judge and jury for everyone and everything!

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 9:10am

Its funny you have this too! I was actually planning on making a blog very similar to this later.

My SS does this crap all the time.

TickedOff's picture

Submitted by TickedOff on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 9:20am

LMAO

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 9:51am

HRNYC, give the lady a break. It's hard to NOT want to call people on their endless BS when you have to live with it. SS sounds like he's either a total douche, or he has a very unrealistic view of himself that he needs to reconcile. I would have done the same.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to stand by and watch someone praise themselves on all their "good values" when in reality they are the exact opposite.

Toni49's picture

Submitted by Toni49 on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 1:41pm

NTM, you know better than anyone what this kid is all about. People don't change. Whenever my SD used to show up unannounced, it was always to "just chat" about the kids needing a pool or her bicycle not being all that great anymore. Calling the Bank of Daddy! Otherwise, she sees him four times a year. Good for you calling him out on his bullshit. If more people treated him less like he was made of glass, he might have turned out better.

Nothemom's picture

Submitted by Nothemom on Thu, 12/26/2013 - 2:00pm

Just an update on this. SS(17) showed up with zero gifts for DH on Christmas. So apparently he isn't in the giving mood when it comes to DH. I even called him again a week before and asked if he would like to go shopping with me and his sister. He couldn't at the time so I offered to buy something for him to give to DH and he said that he would get him something. True colors showed up on Christmas day. He was only at our house for about 20 minutes and talked about all of the "GREAT gifts that mom got him" and didn't even say thank-you for the gift that we gave him that he ended up requesting.

BS meter still working.

Oh and another note DH has informed me that I'm the one that makes things uncomfortable when his kids are over at our house. Yes I agree I'm the problem. I just want to smack this kid and tell him what's up!

SituationalTourettes's picture

Submitted by SituationalTourettes on Thu, 12/26/2013 - 2:53pm

I dont buy that people (even teens) just change overnight. Actions speak louder than words. If your SS wouldve shown up with gifts, even small token ones and then given his little spiel about how he doesnt need gifts himself, it at least would have been an attempt at being legit. And as for calling him out, hey, I cant blame you. Ive done same thing to my SD19 and while Ive tried not to, Im done with feeling used whenever she drops by at her convenience to pretend we are a family to the latest bf she has.

IAMGOOD's picture

Submitted by IAMGOOD on Thu, 12/26/2013 - 3:16pm

Hi,
He may be changing a little but some of these kids learn to manipulate and just get a little better at it.
Image means very little. I would say his coming by to demonstrate kindness would be more genuine.
SS is working DH. Let me guess? Did he go to dad to try to get rid of you earlier years?

What up with the person throwing the lord's name out on a post? AND in such an unkind passive aggressive poking fashion. Well just ignore that poster. We get people that come onto this site just to be jerks & HELLO - this site is or people that need to vent and get advice.

I hope he does change. Maybe clearing some old issues up and being a able to share your own feelings is a step.