I am sorry ~ I find that a 13 year old figured out what she was doing !!! Someone is caressing that story ~

I think you are guarded which is healthy. You have been down this road n go burnt. Your hubby still hold hope ~ but remember hope is paralyzing. You are protecting yourself ~ which is normal.

school pressure? what was her excuse all damn summer?

i call BS. go with your gut and disengage. if he's like most DH's here, he'll jump at the chance to reconnect (which is good) but will also likely fawn all over her cuz she's now granting him the gift of her partial attention (fawning- not good)

i'd say you're right but your DH may give her the benefit of the doubt.

I have two different scenarios on my head about SD's logic.

I think she was caressed by someone ~ I question it cause it seems very adult like thought. And seems more DH thought process ~ maybe how he felt n expressed it to her n then he believes she agreed. That sticks out in my head. I can't wrap my brain around a 13 year old saying that. It sounds like what was said was kinda what you all wanted to hear ~ that to me is not an honest explanation.

If any child cries ~ you immediate reaction is to fix it. That was her shock n awe ~ she broke him down so that she could get his attention. I would guess ~ that was to break down any barriers that were previously up.

She probably cried n all he wanted to do was fix it. I am guess she couldn't explain why she did/does what she did. Sounds like to him he might have said ~ your pushing everyone away ~ blah blah blah n he made it out like she had a big ahhh haa moment.

Put it this way ~ if you called DH n was upset n crying on the phone. I would think normal reaction would be omg ~ slow down ~ what's the matter. Don't worry I will fix it all.

But here is the question ? Is that a genuine feeling or a tactic to get his attention.

The whole one on one time is strange to me ~ not that I don't understand it. But the title of it ~ as kids get to be older teenagers ~ they start to branch off of their parents to discovery themselves with friends n boyfriends. So it's a very fine line ~ my fiancé struggled with this idea but understood it n backed off. Meaning his dd(spawn) was spending more n more time away from him n he was struggling with the idea that she didn't need him anymore. I explained that in teenager years ~ your parenting switches to more of guidance to the kids. They are no longer babies. They are getting independent. He still wanted to spend time w her but she constantly picked bf over her Dad. ( part of life) ~ now however he has adapted to his new life of being on the back burner ~ she proclaimed that he abandoned her which is so far from the truth. He gave her room to grow n she wanted to store him in the closet with all her other puppets n pull then out when she needs then.

To me ~ your either in it or your out but don't bitch when your out n want to me in. You made your bed my dear ~ crawl under the covers n I'll see you in the morning little red riding hood.

I try to think of both sides n try to figure out why people do whst they do.

My only issue with all this BS ~ we all could have it all. If respect was in place ~ respecting who you are in DH life n visa versa. I am sure you accept what position she holds in DH's life you get that loud n clear. Why must a child have completely n utter disrespect w their own parent. Wouldn't you want your father to be happy ~ are they that selfish that watching Dad grows older by himself ~ all lonely cause SD decided to make the choices that she made.
My mother passed away when I was 25 ~ I was an adult ( barely lol ) my father was my world ~ my guy. Months before my mom passed she told me ~ when I am no longer on this earth n when your father finds someone to shares his life with. My wish is that you respect her. Wow ~ what a punch in the face that was. Your asking me as Daddy's girl to accept a woman who is not you in my life n pray that she understands my Dad's relationship with me. You must be crazy mom. ~ you know what ..... That was one of the greatest gifts I ever recieved in my life.

I respected my fathers wife ~ plain n simple. Nothing more n nothing less. But don't misconscrew the word respect with love. I respected n loved my father till the day he died. I respect my fathers wife. Big difference.

I feel like I'm reading about myself! I am in a similar situation, very similar! Disengage, if she is genuine then she will contact you and try to work it out. She is not a little child who is not capable of this, she is old enough to know what she has done she is old enough to reach out to you and apologize and explain. I hate being in the situation and often times wish i did not have to deal with it but its there like a dark cloud that lingers just waiting to let it poor. I don't get it either when you hear nothing from this kid then all of a sudden they want to reconnect right before the holidays, good timing. BM has A LOT of manipulating and time to manipulate and will not hesitate to do so. The bm i deal with puts on a face for everyone and so does sd15 but behind the doors they are vindictive monsters ready to attack. can't talk to crazy. bm is a control freak btw not at all surprised that she thinks she can control our home. i agree with Enuff- she needs to respect you period.