I've come very VERY close to walking recently. I know what I want in a r/s and I will not settle, I believe my worth because I know what I am willing to give my spouse, the absolute main thing I need, is respect. For me, because SO has been enmeshed emotionally with his ex since they broke up 4 years ago, and I felt confident that I have exhausted every avenue to try and sort out our relationship issues (the core of it being that BM was more important to him, not in a romantic way, but still), I told him the other night that I was going to move back to my home city (where I left my BD11 with her Dad). It seems that may have been enough to help him "let go" of his ex. Time will tell, but at the end of the day, I am only 29 years old, I can handle 'normal' r/s issues, I can even handle his crazy ex, but what I can't handle is the disrespect he shows me every time he puts BM's happiness and needs before mine, I will walk away if I have too.. reluctantly.

Well I came to the conclusion that NO it certainly wasn't worth it. You have a right to be treated as you treat others. I loved my husband, yes, he was my soul mate, and funny enough I did all the things you say you are doing now. My husband did not lift a finger, yet he allowed his children to treat me with all the contempt and disgust of dog poo on the souls of their feet. Worse, no matter what they did, he denued it, defended them and twisted every single thing to somehow make it all my fault. No, it was definitely not worth it. When I'd finally decided that, I banned his daughter from our home and told him to go with her. He didn't. It hasn't been easy, it's been damn hard. But life is far better wthout his toxic adult daughter spewing her venom all over me.

I would suggest you STOP doing everything and acting like the hired help instead of part of the family. They take advantage if us, we act like fools really when we do things for them that they could easily do for themselves. Start spreading the load.

I have a friend who has been married for well over 30 years. She was 16 and pregnant when she got married. She married out of her culture and into a family that didn't have any respect for the nationality my friend was. My friends pregnancy confirmed their disgust of Australians was well founded. But here she is still married and still very happy, still in love with her husband. Does she wait on him hand and foot, no way. He's done his share of cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping. But she does her share too. Her motto, treat em mean to keep em keen. sharing the load leads to a respectful, loving, happy marriage. Not one person carrying the load. Act like a doormat. Don't be surprised when people wipe their feet on you.

My bs18 told me a while ago that he thinks I have done more for dh and his two boys then I ever did for my own boys and previous marriage. He is right in that until I got divorced 5 years ago I was a sahm for 15 years and since the divorce and then meeting dh I have worked full time (or more then full time with 2 part time jobs) and DH has hardly worked b/c of health issues and then cancer. So yes, I have done more in that respect. I have given sooooo much of myself to DH and his two blood sucking kids and no thanks at all in fact ss20 is so hateful towards me. I am not sure why I stay, I guess it's b/c I am not a leaver.

That Guy In Vegas-I think if my boyfriend were to post here he'd say exactly what you did. And it's heartbreaking. Best of luck.

I was thinking it says something that if you didn't say anything, she would think everything was fine. Not that she should be reading your mind, but she isn't registering your work or frustration. Just sounds like she's not thinking of how things are for you. In my situation, starting to feel it's not worth it. If you really love her and want it to work, best wishes to you.