Probably a dumb question.
I have been married to my DH for 12 years. He was married before me and has two children with his ex. His children (my skids are adults now). My DH and I have two bio children together, they are 8 and 3. Anyways we have no will, he has me as his beneficiary on his insurance. If, God forbid, something were to ever happen to him, I am safe right? As far as social security and stuff, it would be for my kids right? I am only asking because I also raised my skids. Bio mom was in and out of their lives inconsistently the whole time. Also DH has been looking into this but he during his divorce with her ended up where she would receive 40% of his military retirement when he reaches that age. Is there anyway he can have that reversed? He wants to receive his full military retirement since he raised and paid everything for his children with her and she did nothing to contribute. Also if I am the beneficiary, I get to chose how much adult skids get if something were to happen to him, correct? I just don't know where I stand legally with a blended family. Again my skids are adults now. Our bios are still minors and will be for a while. Also am an at home mother currently so this scares me.
Thank you for your advice. I
Thank you for your advice. I just always wondered. There is an age difference between us (17 years) and I have my little girls, not that I would not give the skids anything, I surly would. Even the SD who turned my life upside down by turning to drugs. I am not vindictive at all. My hubby just wanted me to stay at home with the kids and I did a lot of part time work and schooling. wanted to make sure my girls would be ok, God forbid the worst ever happened.
Yes he was married for a long time to her, I think 15 years. He married her while in the military. I don't mind the military going to her, actually thankful he got to keep his other retirement from his job. Its him that more wants it not to go to her, she really milked him for his money I guess while they were together and continued to not contribute to their kids together. I think it just upsets him.
To me as long as he has his job retirement and the 60% of military, I think that's good. The social security I would want for my minor children with him. Yes him and I keep talking about a will, maybe its time we quit talking and actually do a will.
Actually yes his ex did
Actually yes his ex did re-marry but it looks like she is going to be going through another divorce now with this guy.
I would get on this in a
I would get on this in a hurry and get the allocation of the Military retirement fixed befor the XW is re-divorced.
And ... get a will ... now!
Insurance is not an issue. It goes to the named beneficiary. In some states even property may not be an issue due to right of survivorship. But to be sure, a Will is the way to go.
Good luck.
We live in Wisconsin but I am
We live in Wisconsin but I am definitely going to share this forum topic with my husband. He has been on board and wanting a will anyways and I think its time we just go with it and do it.
Adults or not, your skids
Adults or not, your skids would be entitled to an equal portion of his estate as your children. GET A WILL.
Even if I am clearly listed
Even if I am clearly listed as the beneficiary on his life insurance and my name is on our house and I plan to live in it until I die. And we have young minor children? More so for the life insurance and the social security and his retirement which I am also beneficiary, stocks too. I thought that if my name was on it then no one, not the ex or the adult children would get a say in it.
Also we built our house when we moved after skids turned adult. So house is mine too.
Sorry lots of questions just wanting to know.
We had a will made with a
We had a will made with a lawyer and we live in a spousal state so that means that if something happens to me, he gets everything, if something happens to him, I get everything. If something happens to both of us then his life insurance would be divided up by how HE wants. He wants less to SD19 and can do it, I told him to just put equally divided by all 4 kids/adults. Our two and his two. My life insurance I only put to go to spouse and if something happens to spouse then to my two daughters since they are underage and they are mine. Felt good to hear a lawyer and make a will. Worth the money!
Lawyer said that who is listed at beneficiary on the life insurance is who will get it. Thought I would update.
Most states have some form of
Most states have some form of surviving spouse protection regarding marrital assets. Homes, cars, personal belongings. But get a Will. It makes things much easier for all involved.
Our Will names the surviving spouse as the sole heir and beneficiary. In the event of our joint demise it all goes to our son (my Skid). We have no BKs and I have no other children.
Some specific personal property is directed to go to specific family members but other than that either my wife or I whichever survives the other keeps the estate.
We do have some firm stipulations that SS gets nothing until he either turns age 40 or completes a Bachelor's degree from a regionally accredited college or university. This is our way of parenting from beyond the grave. }:)
Is he still in the military?
Is he still in the military? Tell him to go talk to JAG and they should be able to help with possibly reversing the 40% decision (although not entirely sure that's possible if they were married longer than 10 years) They will also write up a Will for him, which frankly being in the military I am shocked he does not already have.
I will pass this along to
I will pass this along to him. I know it bugs him like hell that she will get 40% since she cheated on him the entire marriage, shoved drugs into herself behind his back and took tons of child support even though he still to this day is the main supporter along with when they were younger we paid for everything and had them 90% of the time and he still had to pay child support. Everytime he had to leave for his six month cruise time she would trash something of his and run around on him. The only reason they stayed married was because she got pregnant and he didn't want his kids to grow up with out a dad. He might have to pay it anyways though because he stayed with her for 16 years. Definitely will pass this on though.
We made a will though already
My SO has the same situation
My SO has the same situation regarding his military retirement. It cannot be reversed. The ex is entitled to his retirement in accordance with the Uniform Services Former Spouse Protection Act.